So tired of my husband

[Anonymous]

I'm just so tired of the small things that really wear me down. He is a great dad and a good person, but seriously, it's the constant nonsense, like leaving his empty glasses on top of the dishwasher, washing the dishes and not cleaning anything else and calling the kitchen clean, forgetting to make sure our seven year old has his retainer in before bed, leaving groceries on every counters (never IN the cabinets), leaving his shoes just outside of where there are to be put away, never thinking through anything complicated to make sure we have all the pieces figured out, not putting things on the calendar, and not passing along important information, like the opportunity to increase life insurance at work (and now that opportunity is gone for the foreseeable future). We both work and I don't have time for a third child. I'm really starting to resent him, particularly since he NEVER apologizes.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you're tired of the everyday and blaming your frustration on your spouse. The things you're spun up about really don't matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you're tired of the everyday and blaming your frustration on your spouse. The things you're spun up about really don't matter.

I agree. You're tired OP. I get that. But you also aren't going to change him.

[Anonymous]

"I hate the way she licks stamps."

[Anonymous]

Took me til the 5th line to be relieved that this wasn't about me

[Anonymous]

They don't matter if it's occasionally. But all of these things every day, day in and day out for years is exhausting. He just leaves it all for me to do. Okay, assume I'm tired of the everyday. How do you fix that?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like an excuse to cheat. Entertain the idea at least. You only live once and what you are describing sounds like a 10 on a scale of awfulness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Took me til the 5th line to be relieved that this wasn't about me

you should try to be better so your spouse doesn't begin to resent you. stop being lazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm just so tired of the small things that really wear me down. He is a great dad and a good person, but seriously, it's the constant nonsense, like leaving his empty glasses on top of the dishwasher, washing the dishes and not cleaning anything else and calling the kitchen clean, forgetting to make sure our seven year old has his retainer in before bed, leaving groceries on every counters (never IN the cabinets), leaving his shoes just outside of where there are to be put away, never thinking through anything complicated to make sure we have all the pieces figured out, not putting things on the calendar, and not passing along important information, like the opportunity to increase life insurance at work (and now that opportunity is gone for the foreseeable future). We both work and I don't have time for a third child. I'm really starting to resent him, particularly since he NEVER apologizes.

You really want to increase his life insurance huh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like an excuse to cheat. Entertain the idea at least. You only live once and what you are describing sounds like a 10 on a scale of awfulness.

no, it's scale of 10 on annoyingness, not awfulness. I would never do that.

[Anonymous]

So DTMFA

[Anonymous]

I pick one thing and sit him down and ask him to fix the one habit. He doesn’t have to agree that it’s important, but I explain that it’s important to me and not hard to do so please try. That one thing usually gets better for a bit at least.

This is usually how I feel when we need to renew our connection win a date or adventure or project or something (not sex) or when I am feeling powerless somewhere else in my life. Just food for thought.

[Anonymous]

I hate everything about him, but I just ignore it and mind my own business. Counting down to the days I can be alone.

[Anonymous]

thats normal husband shit

We had donuts with dad this morning so my husband took my DD to daycare. He ran out of gas on the way there.... 3 minutes away. wtf

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They don't matter if it's occasionally. But all of these things every day, day in and day out for years is exhausting. He just leaves it all for me to do. Okay, assume I'm tired of the everyday. How do you fix that?

I don't think you fix it. You focus on the good things he brings to the table, and other similar mental exercises.

Me - F@c* I hate when he leaves his glass here. Calming thought - I do appreciate that he took the trash out.

Or also me - Damn it, he left the groceries on the counter. Looks over to my own pile of work shoes, bag, and jacket sitting on the kitchen chair.

Maybe it won't help you, but my husband and I both have good and bad habits. So I focus on the good.