So tired of my husband

[Anonymous]

Yes, most are very disappointing. Some are “with it” but that is a minority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op work on your gratitude. Another adult doesn’t have to live by your rules. If you continue to disrespect him it’s going to backfire and it certainly will not improve your marriage. Don’t fix the insurance. Say nothing. Let him deal with consequences. Stop harassing this man. Focus on the good. You picked him!!! No one made you do it. If you stop disrespecting him and focus on the good you will be a whole hell of a lot happier and he may even stop half assing things to spite you.

Yes. Let’s focus on the good.

What does he do the you, the house, the kids, the family, the schedule, the planning of life goals that is good?

You say “fun dad.” What does that mean??

Not OK, but really? Are we supposed to be the handmaids to our husbands because he’s fun dad and makes an occasional contribution? No. I’m not doing all the housework so he can relax and just go with the flow. If we checked out as much as these guys are our houses would be overrun with trash and no one would eat. Considering that most of us are working and contributing to our household financially finding the good and not having real support in getting crap done is just not good enough.

I think that was a sarcastic hypothetical question.

I bet Op cannot list even three concrete responsible adult things her husband proactively does for them.

What an utter load of crap. If he was neglecting every other contribution then shoes not put away and countertops not wiped down would not be at the top of this list!!!
Rt
Does he not bring income? Listen to her and comfort her when she is having issues with work, family, etc? Teach his children things and contribute to their care, maybe not exactly her way but in his way? Build relationships with her relatives and help others when needed? Maintain house and cars? Pay any bills at all? Choose any investments ar all? Plan for their joint future with career goals at all? Buy her any gifts or remember any special days?

You really think her husband does none of those things yet what is on the top of her mind are the countertops and shoes?

Get a grip!

Hahahah. All my husband does is go to the office and good around with the kids (snacks, tv time, dilly dally). Zero parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband gave up a fun and exciting sex life to be with you. No, I am not trolling, it's exactly what he would say he misses more than anything. Marriage is a compromise. You trade having control, freedom and excitement for stability and predictability.

What makes you think women don’t miss that too? marriage is a compromise but that doesn’t excuse free loaders.

I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who still has a fun and exciting sex life after many years and I'm pretty sure my husband feels the same way. Once we became empty nesters and the walls no longer had ears whatever inhibitions we had disappeared. Once that happened we just kept letting the fun progress.

[Anonymous]

All young men should read this thread before a) marrying and b) having children.

[Anonymous]

These are typical guy things.

It’s sad - but highly unlikely to change.

The older he gets.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All young men should read this thread before a) marrying and b) having children.

The biggest difference from the past is the supposed need for two incomes. We get by on DH's. If I had to work too, I would also be on here complaining since he would do jack all to cook or clean. He's great with the kids and provides so it works out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These are typical guy things.

It’s sad - but highly unlikely to change.

The older he gets.....

That is so true! My 60 year old ADHD husband just gets worse. He would never run out of gas because the cars are his thing.

He has gone to a soccer field before and cheered on a team of children he does not know thinking it was his son’s team. Even after the game was over and he was looking for his kid and could not find him

He empties the dishwasher in a totally random/ different every time way

Leaves clothes on any flat surface he sees

Loses important documents

Always 10 minutes late

Forgets to eat

*he also*

Took my DD in at age 2 and has never once treated her differently than his children. He is a wonderful dad to her. He surprises me with flowers and Diet Coke (my chemical romance). He shuts down the house at night and gives us all a kiss when we’re sleeping. He always comes running when he hears my clumsy self drop something or yell “dammit” in the kitchen. He’s great and helping with math and science homework. We’re constantly giving each other a squeeze or a kiss when we pass by.

So that let’s me laugh and just pull the plates out of the drinking glass cabinet. I’m VERY frequently confronted with a cold cup of coffee in the microwave that he forgot. So I heat it up and bring it to him and he always says “oh I forgot! Thanks honey”

See how that works?

[Anonymous]

Yep, me too. Last one just graduated and I'm moving out.

[Anonymous]

Ladies, your husbands are tired of you too! So why don't you both do something about it?

[Anonymous]

I don't remember who it was, but some famous woman was being interviewed on NPR, this was years ago. She described visiting her son (college) and seeing his gf for the first time, the gf had a laundry basket full of the famous woman's son's dirty clothes. The famous woman shrieked and yelled "what the H are you doing???" Because she did not want her son taking advantage of a woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't remember who it was, but some famous woman was being interviewed on NPR, this was years ago. She described visiting her son (college) and seeing his gf for the first time, the gf had a laundry basket full of the famous woman's son's dirty clothes. The famous woman shrieked and yelled "what the H are you doing???" Because she did not want her son taking advantage of a woman.

My husband does his own laundry - I'm not tired of him!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who gives a F if his shoes aren’t “put away”? Get over yourself.

I care. Just like he cares that the dishwasher is loaded JUST.SO. So, he puts his shoes away, I load the dishwasher just so.
And yes, I care that he doesn't put his glass in the dishwasher but leaves it on the counter. And he cares that I don't run the water when I brush my teeth. So, he puts his glass IN the dishwasher instead of the sink, and I don't run the water when I brush my teeth.
And I care that the toilet seat and cover are put down every time, and he cares that I don't mix colors and whites when I do the laundry. So he puts the lid down and I do try to do separate loads.

The point is we try to do for each other. It isn't the size of the offence. It is the respect it conveys.

PREACH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Signed,
A wife who is trying really hard not to hate husband she loves today
(It’s taking everything I have )

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, your husbands are tired of you too! So why don't you both do something about it?

What would you suggest? Why do you assume that many of us haven't tried to do many different things about it? That's part of my frustration-I've tried and tried and tried, but nothing ever freaking changes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't remember who it was, but some famous woman was being interviewed on NPR, this was years ago. She described visiting her son (college) and seeing his gf for the first time, the gf had a laundry basket full of the famous woman's son's dirty clothes. The famous woman shrieked and yelled "what the H are you doing???" Because she did not want her son taking advantage of a woman.

My husband does his own laundry - I'm not tired of him!

I do my husband’s laundry. I’m not tired of him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All young men should read this thread before a) marrying and b) having children.

The biggest difference from the past is the supposed need for two incomes. We get by on DH's. If I had to work too, I would also be on here complaining since he would do jack all to cook or clean. He's great with the kids and provides so it works out.

The SAHM thing only works if the working husband is thankful and grateful you are doing everything on the home front and kid front. Without that you have an ungrateful spouse who is rarely around except for fun time.