So tired of my husband

[Anonymous]

The never apologizing is a huge red flag.

[Anonymous]

What irritates me is that my husband would never pull the half-assed crap he does at home at his job. Just be a goddamned adult; I don't want to be your mother.

[Anonymous]

Yep, I can relate. Makes me consider a lesbian relationship. Imagine, kitchen all clean and I get a second wardrobe too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who gives a F if his shoes aren’t “put away”? Get over yourself.

Considering I trip on them in the dark, it’s a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What irritates me is that my husband would never pull the half-assed crap he does at home at his job. Just be a goddamned adult; I don't want to be your mother.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSS

[Anonymous]

Op work on your gratitude. Another adult doesn’t have to live by your rules. If you continue to disrespect him it’s going to backfire and it certainly will not improve your marriage. Don’t fix the insurance. Say nothing. Let him deal with consequences. Stop harassing this man. Focus on the good. You picked him!!! No one made you do it. If you stop disrespecting him and focus on the good you will be a whole hell of a lot happier and he may even stop half assing things to spite you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What irritates me is that my husband would never pull the half-assed crap he does at home at his job. Just be a goddamned adult; I don't want to be your mother.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSS

This exactly!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mail arrived. Doctor misbilled insurance for his doctor visit. Guess who gets to fix it? Ugh.

count beans much?

Yes, after 10 years, it’s at about 10,000.

find happiness. divorce him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like an excuse to cheat. Entertain the idea at least. You only live once and what you are describing sounds like a 10 on a scale of awfulness.

Get a psych exam for ADHD. This will only get worse. Esp w more kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate everything about him, but I just ignore it and mind my own business. Counting down to the days I can be alone.

Was this how his mom and dad were in their home (forgetful, messy, unreliable dad who did nothing at home)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Trade?

I'm dealing with an emotionally volatile and poorly communicating husband, who refuses to treat his ADHD, the consequences of which affect our whole family. This morning he caused me to miss the second part of my son's end-of-middle-school ceremony, and tonight he will project all he did wrong on me, as he usually does. He tends to sabotage all the family's meaningful events. It's sad to know I can count on him to do something negative during those times. Yeah for the memories.

Same here. Plus raging sessions when he doesn’t want to take responsibility for something and argue against it being brought up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I could have written this. And I know he's resentful of me for reminding him but SHEESH we both work, we try to share all the household duties and kid prep. BUT I know on the days where he does dropoff and/or pickup, he'll forget stuff they need for daycare or forget to bring it home. He'll load the dishwasher and not run it, put clothes in the washer and forget to move them to the dryer. Asks me one million times where soccer practice and games are even though he gets the same communications I do but his inbox is so overflowing he won't see them. I could go on. These things really chip away and the day-to-day and he does acknowledge it, does apologize, but it doesn't change. I know I could let some of these things go (and I do a lot of the time) but ultimately I can't live my life the way I want to and that makes me feel restricted and controlled.

Adhd spouses are unreliable and need fixes all the time. 60-70% divorce rates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm just so tired of the small things that really wear me down. He is a great dad and a good person, but seriously, it's the constant nonsense, like leaving his empty glasses on top of the dishwasher, washing the dishes and not cleaning anything else and calling the kitchen clean, forgetting to make sure our seven year old has his retainer in before bed, leaving groceries on every counters (never IN the cabinets), leaving his shoes just outside of where there are to be put away, never thinking through anything complicated to make sure we have all the pieces figured out, not putting things on the calendar, and not passing along important information, like the opportunity to increase life insurance at work (and now that opportunity is gone for the foreseeable future). We both work and I don't have time for a third child. I'm really starting to resent him, particularly since he NEVER apologizes.

- Easily, it could have been me who wrote this! Countertops are always overlooked somehow, and various approaches to to fix this issue don't help! Lol - they are still overlooked, together with the table surface, and it just saves you nerves to complete the job yourself without raising it again in whatever way. I am told - he is just my child #2. LOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What irritates me is that my husband would never pull the half-assed crap he does at home at his job. Just be a goddamned adult; I don't want to be your mother.

+1000

The mother child dynamic is the worst. Death knell frankly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op work on your gratitude. Another adult doesn’t have to live by your rules. If you continue to disrespect him it’s going to backfire and it certainly will not improve your marriage. Don’t fix the insurance. Say nothing. Let him deal with consequences. Stop harassing this man. Focus on the good. You picked him!!! No one made you do it. If you stop disrespecting him and focus on the good you will be a whole hell of a lot happier and he may even stop half assing things to spite you.

Yes. Let’s focus on the good.

What does he do the you, the house, the kids, the family, the schedule, the planning of life goals that is good?

You say “fun dad.” What does that mean??