If you have been cheated on, how do you forgive your spouse?

[Anonymous]

I found out my husband has been cheating on me a few days ago. I'm still processing what happened as I am in shock that he did this to me. We have a toddler together and I'm trying to convince myself to stay together for her sake. He is showing remorse, accepts all responsibilities, and wants to work things out with me. We had a tough time in our marriage after having our baby. I fell out of love with him and our sex life was diminishing. He said he felt lonely. He feels shameful and embarrassed for what he did to me. If kids weren't involved, I don't think i could or would want to save our marriage. I feel sick to my stomach whenever i think about what he did. How can i ever trust him again? Our whole relationship was built on trust and now I've discovered he lied to me all these times. I want to forgive him because maybe now that everything is out on the table, we can rebuild our relationship. He promised to devote his all to being the best husband and father now and asked for one last chance to work things out...sigh. I feel so torn. I never thought that this would happen to me.

[Anonymous]

You take the time and start planning your exit.

And you can’t trust him.

[Anonymous]

I didn't. I kicked the cheating whore to the curb and lorded the adultery over her in divorce proceedings so she got zero alimony.

[Anonymous]

Just leave. Have a little self respect. And if you weren’t in love with him anyway, let him find someone who is.

[Anonymous]

You just found this out a few days ago. You barely even know what’s going on yet. Give this a lot of time.

[Anonymous]

Take a long look at yourself to figure why you couldn't give him what he needed. Cheating isn't always the cheaters fault you know

[Anonymous]

Are you asking how you forgive or how to stay.

I forgave my H for being human and with many flaws, but I did not stay.

[Anonymous]

He's only shameful, remorseful, etc because he got caught. If he didn't he'd still be cheating. There is absolutely no excuse for cheating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take a long look at yourself to figure why you couldn't give him what he needed. Cheating isn't always the cheaters fault you know

Also, if he ever hits you, it's probably because you couldn't keep you mouth shut or you don't do the dishes correctly.

[Anonymous]

Why did you fall out of love with him? Did you tell him?

[Anonymous]

Need more info of the affair. How did you find out? Who was it with? How long?

[Anonymous]

You can’t. Why would you want to?

[Anonymous]

You fell out of love and quit having sex with him. I’m not condoning his cheating but certainly it stands to reason that played some role in his actions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I found out my husband has been cheating on me a few days ago. I'm still processing what happened as I am in shock that he did this to me. We have a toddler together and I'm trying to convince myself to stay together for her sake. He is showing remorse, accepts all responsibilities, and wants to work things out with me. We had a tough time in our marriage after having our baby. I fell out of love with him and our sex life was diminishing. He said he felt lonely. He feels shameful and embarrassed for what he did to me. If kids weren't involved, I don't think i could or would want to save our marriage. I feel sick to my stomach whenever i think about what he did. How can i ever trust him again? Our whole relationship was built on trust and now I've discovered he lied to me all these times. I want to forgive him because maybe now that everything is out on the table, we can rebuild our relationship. He promised to devote his all to being the best husband and father now and asked for one last chance to work things out...sigh. I feel so torn. I never thought that this would happen to me.

How and why did this happen? Did you fall back in love with him? I'm guessing you did not.

[Anonymous]

Ignore the divorce cheerleaders. Most of them wouldn't divorce.

Thing is, he cheated but you also weren't having any sort of a love or sex life. He was in the wrong, you both were in the wrong. Only question is if you want to move forward or not. Give it time, many couples reconcile.