Husband doesn’t get up with the baby so I want him to sleep on the couch.

[Anonymous]

Ok so here’s the thing.

Our mattress sucks. When DH comes to bed it sags on his side and anytime he moves I get jostled around. Between his snoring and the baby fussing, I get no sleep. I’m sandwiched between DH and the bassinet and it gets HOT even with the AC. DH doesn’t get up at all in the night to help with anything and I’m frustrated with that. And yes - I’ve tried. He says he will do the diaper changes but when push comes to shove I’ll try 3x to wake him up and he won’t get up. The other night when he did actually wake up, his necklace got stuck on his pillow and instead of figuring it out, he went back to sleep with the necklace still stuck. So I can’t rely on a grown man to get up if he gets stuck in his own bed.

DH goes to bed at 9 and wakes up at 4. Im about to kick him out if he’s not going to help. He claims he needs his sleep and that’s why he’s reluctant to help. So I feel like he should just sleep on the couch.

And he does help during the day - he cooks and cleans during dinner. He does the laundry, grocery runs, waters the lawn, takes out the garbage and help with bedtime. But night time is not his thing.

Did anyone else do this?

[Anonymous]

Buy a new mattress.
What kind of a man wears a necklace? To bed even?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Buy a new mattress.
What kind of a man wears a necklace? To bed even?

Seriously I would absolutely love to.

But it’s not in the budget right now. My short term disability policy denied my claim and were just living off savings while I’m on maternity leave. We just don’t have an extra $2000 for a bed.

[Anonymous]

Can we talk more about the necklace? What does it look like? Did he always wear a necklace, or was this something he started after you said yes? Does he have chest hair? Is the necklace visible when he's dressed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can we talk more about the necklace? What does it look like? Did he always wear a necklace, or was this something he started after you said yes? Does he have chest hair? Is the necklace visible when he's dressed?

Ughhhhhhhh.

Ok.

It’s a gold chain necklace with a catholic saint pendant that’s a family heirloom on it. Something meant to resemble protection. He’s always worn it. No chest hair. No it’s not visible when he’s dressed, it’s tucked under his shirt. So when he sleeps it’s visible.

[Anonymous]

When my spouse had a big day at work the next day, I would allow him to sleep on the couch. It was like a treat for him, since he could sleep peacefully through the night without baby wakings. He did the same for me when I went back to work after mat. leave. So maybe spin it like that to his husband.

[Anonymous]

Don't sweat the small stuff. You are on maternity leave to take care of the baby. Take care of the baby.

[Anonymous]

I mean framing it as a punishment or reward is silly. This sleeping arrangement is killing you. It has to be something different, the end, full stop. Not because of what he does or doesn’t deserve but because sleep deprivation is literally torture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't sweat the small stuff. You are on maternity leave to take care of the baby. Take care of the baby.

Yup. And kick DH out of the bedroom so you can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Buy a new mattress.
What kind of a man wears a necklace? To bed even?

Seriously I would absolutely love to.

But it’s not in the budget right now. My short term disability policy denied my claim and were just living off savings while I’m on maternity leave. We just don’t have an extra $2000 for a bed.

Casper mattresses are $600 for a queen. We have them on a few beds and they are great. Buy online and get it delivered by UPS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can we talk more about the necklace? What does it look like? Did he always wear a necklace, or was this something he started after you said yes? Does he have chest hair? Is the necklace visible when he's dressed?

Ughhhhhhhh.

Ok.

It’s a gold chain necklace with a catholic saint pendant that’s a family heirloom on it. Something meant to resemble protection. He’s always worn it. No chest hair. No it’s not visible when he’s dressed, it’s tucked under his shirt. So when he sleeps it’s visible.

Eww

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can we talk more about the necklace? What does it look like? Did he always wear a necklace, or was this something he started after you said yes? Does he have chest hair? Is the necklace visible when he's dressed?

Ughhhhhhhh.

Ok.

It’s a gold chain necklace with a catholic saint pendant that’s a family heirloom on it. Something meant to resemble protection. He’s always worn it. No chest hair. No it’s not visible when he’s dressed, it’s tucked under his shirt. So when he sleeps it’s visible.

So he's religious enough to literally walk around with it on him 24/7 and yet he treats you like that??

Maybe you should talk to his pastor.

[Anonymous]

Sell the necklace and use the money towards a mattress.

[Anonymous]

Are you breastfeeding or formula? I was bf and didn’t think it useful to wake up dh. I nursed in bed and the put baby back in the bassinet. Dh wasn’t an asshole though

It gets better op!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean framing it as a punishment or reward is silly. This sleeping arrangement is killing you. It has to be something different, the end, full stop. Not because of what he does or doesn’t deserve but because sleep deprivation is literally torture.

Agree