Husband doesn’t get up with the baby so I want him to sleep on the couch.

[Anonymous]

You take the couch. It is more comfy, I bet, and it will be cooler. Two of your complaints.
You can leave the baby with dh in the bedroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can we talk more about the necklace? What does it look like? Did he always wear a necklace, or was this something he started after you said yes? Does he have chest hair? Is the necklace visible when he's dressed?

Ughhhhhhhh.

Ok.

It’s a gold chain necklace with a catholic saint pendant that’s a family heirloom on it. Something meant to resemble protection. He’s always worn it. No chest hair. No it’s not visible when he’s dressed, it’s tucked under his shirt. So when he sleeps it’s visible.

Can you sell the necklace and put the money towards a new mattress?

[Anonymous]

Op here.

DH would never sell the necklace.

We are living off our savings because I am on maternity leave. We will most likely buy a new bed once I go back to work in a few months. Sorry DCUM but we don’t have an extra $500 lying around for a new mattress. Especially since the policy I paid into for over a year denied my LTD claim. We were counting on an extra $2000-3000 and were planning on using the money but now money is more tight than ever.

DH is sleeping in the room for now and it’s still miserable. I woke up to him literally on my pillow breathing into my face.

I’m trying to frame it as a positive for him to sleep on the couch but he says it makes him feel lonely and cut off.

Aaargh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here.

DH would never sell the necklace.

We are living off our savings because I am on maternity leave. We will most likely buy a new bed once I go back to work in a few months. Sorry DCUM but we don’t have an extra $500 lying around for a new mattress. Especially since the policy I paid into for over a year denied my LTD claim. We were counting on an extra $2000-3000 and were planning on using the money but now money is more tight than ever.

DH is sleeping in the room for now and it’s still miserable. I woke up to him literally on my pillow breathing into my face.

I’m trying to frame it as a positive for him to sleep on the couch but he says it makes him feel lonely and cut off.

Aaargh.

If money is so tight, why did you have a kid?

[Anonymous]

Totally kick him out to the couch. It’s not a reward / punishment issue. It is a comfort, practicality and safety issue. You both need your rest to take care of the baby, he needs his sleep schedule to function at work and be able to help during the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Totally kick him out to the couch. It’s not a reward / punishment issue. It is a comfort, practicality and safety issue. You need your rest to take care of the baby, he needs his sleep schedule to function at work and be able to help during the day.

Should have said: you need your rest to take care of baby. A baby is exhausting enough, you can’t also miss sleep due to dh. Sorry, he goes to the couch tonight. You need to have enough sleep not to fall asleep while feeding baby or have some other risks due simply to exhaustion.

[Anonymous]

Desperately sleep deprived takes precedence over lonely but sleeping through the night. Your husband is kind of being a baby here, I'm sorry.

[Anonymous]

I still don't get why Op doesn't opt for the couch. It is a win-win. And sounds absolutely lovely to be honest!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here.

DH would never sell the necklace.

We are living off our savings because I am on maternity leave. We will most likely buy a new bed once I go back to work in a few months. Sorry DCUM but we don’t have an extra $500 lying around for a new mattress. Especially since the policy I paid into for over a year denied my LTD claim. We were counting on an extra $2000-3000 and were planning on using the money but now money is more tight than ever.

DH is sleeping in the room for now and it’s still miserable. I woke up to him literally on my pillow breathing into my face.

I’m trying to frame it as a positive for him to sleep on the couch but he says it makes him feel lonely and cut off.

Aaargh.

Can you sell DH?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I still don't get why Op doesn't opt for the couch. It is a win-win. And sounds absolutely lovely to be honest!

+1 In my apartment, the person who got the couch was the lucky one while the one who slept in the room with the baby was in for a bad night. And if constant crying of a baby next to your husband doesn't wake him up, I'd be really surprised. In any case, no harm trying this for one night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Buy a new mattress.
What kind of a man wears a necklace? To bed even?

Seriously I would absolutely love to.

But it’s not in the budget right now. My short term disability policy denied my claim and were just living off savings while I’m on maternity leave. We just don’t have an extra $2000 for a bed.

Casper mattresses are $600 for a queen. We have them on a few beds and they are great. Buy online and get it delivered by UPS.

Anything in particular special about them?
I need something new.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here.

DH would never sell the necklace.

We are living off our savings because I am on maternity leave. We will most likely buy a new bed once I go back to work in a few months. Sorry DCUM but we don’t have an extra $500 lying around for a new mattress. Especially since the policy I paid into for over a year denied my LTD claim. We were counting on an extra $2000-3000 and were planning on using the money but now money is more tight than ever.

DH is sleeping in the room for now and it’s still miserable. I woke up to him literally on my pillow breathing into my face.

I’m trying to frame it as a positive for him to sleep on the couch but he says it makes him feel lonely and cut off.

Aaargh.

If money is so tight, why did you have a kid?

This

The mattress will cost the same now or in a few months. Put it on a credit card.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok so here’s the thing.

Our mattress sucks. When DH comes to bed it sags on his side and anytime he moves I get jostled around. Between his snoring and the baby fussing, I get no sleep. I’m sandwiched between DH and the bassinet and it gets HOT even with the AC. DH doesn’t get up at all in the night to help with anything and I’m frustrated with that. And yes - I’ve tried. He says he will do the diaper changes but when push comes to shove I’ll try 3x to wake him up and he won’t get up. The other night when he did actually wake up, his necklace got stuck on his pillow and instead of figuring it out, he went back to sleep with the necklace still stuck. So I can’t rely on a grown man to get up if he gets stuck in his own bed.

DH goes to bed at 9 and wakes up at 4. Im about to kick him out if he’s not going to help. He claims he needs his sleep and that’s why he’s reluctant to help. So I feel like he should just sleep on the couch.

And he does help during the day - he cooks and cleans during dinner. He does the laundry, grocery runs, waters the lawn, takes out the garbage and help with bedtime. But night time is not his thing.

Did anyone else do this?

He's working right now. His hours sound insane and he does all of the bolded? Get a credit car and buy a new mattress and for gods sake they don't cost $2k!

[Anonymous]

DH wears a necklace to bed?? OMG! DIVORCE HIM ASAP!!

[Anonymous]

You sound sleep-deprived most certainly. Your husband is doing his part though. He does need his sleep to be able to function at work and the fact that he helps so much after work is amazing! You’re home, you should be doing the night work. Sleep during the day when the baby sleeps. I slept on a blow up mattress in the baby’s room at the beginning so my husband could sleep. This period of time seems long now but it will pass quickly. Start saving for the mattress now and by the time the baby isn’t up so much you’ll have a nice new mattress to sleep on. You HAVE to nap when the baby does during the day.