Unhealthy relationship with dog...... say something?
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Anonymous
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My sister and her husband have been married for 4 years. No kids (a bit by choice, a bit by not really ' trying' that hard according to her).
Her DH has wanted a dog forever. She finally caved and they got one. Well, now she is over the top obsessed with this dog. Everything in her life revolves around this dog. They have had it for just under a year so this isn't exactly a puppy. She is changing summer plans, refusing to go to family things etc. all because she has to be with this dog. She is the crazy one but her DH goes along with it and doesn't really say much about it. Some examples: She and her DH are not coming to our other sister's 4th of July party (has been every year for 8 years) because She doesn't want to leave the dog at home and doesn't want it near kids or fireworks. She bailed on helping my mom paint her kitchen as she promised because her husband was out of town with his brother and she didn't want to leave the dog along or bring it over This weekend while we were out to lunch for 2 hours, she called and checked on the dog (with her neighbor) 3 times. These are just a few examples. It is starting to affect her mental health. She is always worried about the dog getting sick, getting into something etc. She follows the dog around constantly in new environments to ensure it won't eat something or do something. Again, this is a year old dog at this point and she is acting like it is a newborn. They refuse to leave it alone ever so they split where it is at while they work between their neighbor's house and doggy daycare. Do i say something, anything? I thought this would phase out as the dog aged and the newness wore off but it is getting more intense. |
Anonymous
| Her dog is her baby. |
Anonymous
| It honestly sounds like she is using the dog as an excuse to get out of doing things she doesn't want to do, like painting your mother's house and going to a family barbecue. |
Anonymous
| In fairness, the Fourth of July can be really hard on dogs. I wouldn’t leave my German Shepherds home alone during fireworks. |
Anonymous
| Thought exercise: What, exactly, would you say? |
Anonymous
| That's not normal behavior. She sounds obsessed, also she should know that dogs need to socialize frequently. Not just with other dogs, but also people. |
Anonymous
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OP, it's funny you posted this because we're having a similar situation with my mother. She got her first dog since living at home as a teenager and she's now told us she won't go on the annual family vacation that we've been taking for 20 years because we can't find a place where she can take the dog. I suggested that she board the dog near where we stay on vacation and she said that she couldn't bear to be away from her that long.
The ironic thing is that she holds the dog like a baby and has told my 3 sons (22, 19, and 15) that she loves the dog like she loved them when they were little and now that they aren't, she has the dog to love. In the meantime, because she has the dog, she's not attending the 2 younger kids' games and events (which my father nearly always does and she used to) because she doesn't want to leave the dog. My 19 year old plays college basketball about an hour away and she can't leave the dog to go to his game because the dog will "get lonely." He will visit them on the weekends he isn't playing, so it's not like they don't have a close relationship. It's like because my sons aren't babies anymore, they're of no "use" to her. It's sad. |
Anonymous
Sorry, OP, I didn't mean to hijack! I hit enter too soon. I'm not sure that saying something to your sister will do any good. It certainly hasn't with my mother. She actually said, "Well, at least I haven't missed any holidays because of the dog." Yes, that's true because she's brought the dog with her to all the holidays that weren't held at her house. There's just something not right with someone who acts like your sister and my mom are. Your sister's just likely to get defensive. If you figure out a way to deal with it, though, please let us know! |
Anonymous
| I saw a post on my neighborhood Nextdoor asking if anyone who worked from home could watch a dog a couple days a week because the dog had never (ever) been left alone during the day for more than 1 hour. |
Anonymous
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MYOB OP
big time |
Anonymous
| There is nothing you can say to crazy dog people. I was one of them and won’t say all of things we did. They were our children and we thought we were acting normal. We were insane. They lived pampered lives and eventually passed away. Now we have actual kids and I refuse to get any pets. I don’t want to be a crazy dog person again. |
Anonymous
| It’s her baby. Before I had kids I would have actually died for my dog, liked pushed it out of the way of a car. Also, she might be using it as an excuse to get out of things she doesn’t really want to do. |
Anonymous
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Did she get a dog from a rescue? A lab mix perhaps? Some of these dogs can be basket cases with separation anxiety and reactive behaviors. A friend's rescue lab tore through the drywall when she went to work. This breed tends to eat everything in sight too and then its off to the vet for surgery to remove it.
I would return a dog like this but some people try to hang on. |
Anonymous
This is true. |
Anonymous
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Nothing you said sounds that crazy to me. You can’t just leave a young dog (or even necessarily a young dog) alone for hours on end. And a one year old dog is still very immature.
FTR I don’t have a dog and never have except as a kid living at home. |