Unhealthy relationship with dog...... say something?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing you can say to crazy dog people. I was one of them and won’t say all of things we did. They were our children and we thought we were acting normal. We were insane. They lived pampered lives and eventually passed away. Now we have actual kids and I refuse to get any pets. I don’t want to be a crazy dog person again.

+1,000

Crazy pet people are difficult to handle. IME, dog people are the WORST.

[Anonymous]

I love my dogs. I get it. I change plans, spend money on surgeries, and all those things. I worry about what they eat, sing to them, we cuddle and play, etc. They are my family! They are not just objects! However, I still go places, do things...

[Anonymous]

I think it’s not that unusual, especially for the elderly. If you say something you’ll alienate her.

[Anonymous]

I say this is as someone who is not at all enamored of animals. I don’t want them to get hurt, but I have to literally remind myself that people love their pets because I cannot relate to the concept at all. The only thing you have described that sounds crazy to me is the calling to check in three times in two hours. The painting thing just sounds like an excuse and, if I had a dog, I wouldn’t leave it home alone on the Fourth of July because I’d be afraid it would wreck my furniture.

[Anonymous]

I have and adore 3 dogs. I also wouldn't feel comfortable leaving one of my dogs alone on the 4th of July because she is scared of the fireworks and we have a lot of loud ones shot way high up into the sky in our neighborhood. They are beautiful to watch but I want to be around in case one lands on our property and starts a fire. I also want to be there for our sweet girl who gets so terrified of the noises - it's the least we can do for our loving, sweet and loyal pup.

Your sister does seem to be using her dog as an excuse to bow out of things like lunches and helping her elderly mother out. But people use all sorts of excuses to avoid things. Your sister is hardly the only one who is doing it.

[Anonymous]

The constant calling about the dog is her way of saying I have responsibilities too. Maybe you are taking her for granted OP.

[Anonymous]

using a dog as an excuse is normal. actually caring about the dog as much is not normal.

[Anonymous]

OP, you interpreted this as “it’s starting to affect her mental health.” I’m going to be devil’s advocate here. What if this is the state of your sister’s mental health? The dog is just the vehicle through which it became visible. I don’t think that owning a pet can trigger a personality change; personality is stable.

Don’t say anything. You can’t change other people. Just set boundaries that work for you — state clearly when canceled plans disappoint you, or let her know if she’s invited but the dog is not.

[Anonymous]

I can see why she might not want to hang out with you

[Anonymous]

Does your sister also want to be wished a "happy mother's day" on mothers day, too now?

[Anonymous]

Are you sure she isn’t struggling with infertility, OP? I would tread lightly here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:using a dog as an excuse is normal. actually caring about the dog as much is not normal.

No, it is not abnormal at all to completely love your pets. What is unusual is not being able to go out for lunch w/o making several phone calls to the pet sitter to check on your pets.

Unless a dog has serious behavior or medical problems, they do not need that kind of hyper vigilance.

[Anonymous]

Happening here as well and we're becoming infuriated

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:using a dog as an excuse is normal. actually caring about the dog as much is not normal.

Caring about the dog as much...as what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sister and her husband have been married for 4 years. No kids (a bit by choice, a bit by not really ' trying' that hard according to her).
Her DH has wanted a dog forever. She finally caved and they got one.
Well, now she is over the top obsessed with this dog. Everything in her life revolves around this dog.
They have had it for just under a year so this isn't exactly a puppy.
She is changing summer plans, refusing to go to family things etc. all because she has to be with this dog. She is the crazy one but her DH goes along with it and doesn't really say much about it.
Some examples:
She and her DH are not coming to our other sister's 4th of July party (has been every year for 8 years) because She doesn't want to leave the dog at home and doesn't want it near kids or fireworks.
She bailed on helping my mom paint her kitchen as she promised because her husband was out of town with his brother and she didn't want to leave the dog along or bring it over
This weekend while we were out to lunch for 2 hours, she called and checked on the dog (with her neighbor) 3 times.

These are just a few examples.
It is starting to affect her mental health. She is always worried about the dog getting sick, getting into something etc. She follows the dog around constantly in new environments to ensure it won't eat something or do something. Again, this is a year old dog at this point and she is acting like it is a newborn.
They refuse to leave it alone ever so they split where it is at while they work between their neighbor's house and doggy daycare.

Do i say something, anything? I thought this would phase out as the dog aged and the newness wore off but it is getting more intense.

It's weird. I love my dog to the point that it's amusing, but I don't obsess. It sounds like your sister has an anxiety issue and the dog has brought it out.