When someone seems to dislike you for no obvious reason

[Anonymous]

There is a mom in our neighborhood who happens to run this swim team (huge HOA) and despite many attempts over the years she seems to dislike me. I’ve never complained - only emailed or asked her informational questions. I think she does a good job and obviously puts a lot of time in. Her kids don’t compete directly with mine (different genders, plus her are way faster anyway.) I always fulfill my volunteer duties, etc.

If she seemed to dislike everyone or just have RBF it wouldn’t bother me, but most people seem to really like her and her them. They all make small talk together, but when I try she is SO curt with me.

I know it shouldn’t bug me, but I run into her a lot, especially over the summer.

This is a who cares/let it go thing, right?

[Anonymous]

Yes, let it go. Your relationship will remain: "she the lady who runs my kids swim team."

[Anonymous]

Yep, it's a who cares thing unless she's openly hostile, or if she is leaving your family/kids out of events. Not everyone is going to like you and that's ok.

[Anonymous]

Let it go. You are not Nutella, you can not expect everybody in the world to love you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yep, it's a who cares thing unless she's openly hostile, or if she is leaving your family/kids out of events. Not everyone is going to like you and that's ok.

No she’s not. It’s a huge swim team and everything is posted online/planned way in advance. We already have the full summer schedule including all social events.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let it go. You are not Nutella, you can not expect everybody in the world to love you.

I get that, but she’s nicer to total strangers than she is to me, so I’ve clearly rubbed her the wrong way. Just wish I knew what I did. I’m obviously a people-pleaser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let it go. You are not Nutella, you can not expect everybody in the world to love you.

I get that, but she’s nicer to total strangers than she is to me, so I’ve clearly rubbed her the wrong way. Just wish I knew what I did. I’m obviously a people-pleaser.

Sometimes being disliked/liked is very irrational. Do you know the ‘ex girlfriend effect’? Let’s say you remind somehow someone that the person dislike/liked in the past, that can form an unconscious bias in the judgement.

[Anonymous]

Don’t worry about it.

If anything try to hang with her outside of swim stuff. Maybe she’s busy at swim.

[Anonymous]

Let it go. If you ignore her or are just friendly and keep it light and stay away from her, she will probably be less rude to you,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep, it's a who cares thing unless she's openly hostile, or if she is leaving your family/kids out of events. Not everyone is going to like you and that's ok.

No she’s not. It’s a huge swim team and everything is posted online/planned way in advance. We already have the full summer schedule including all social events.

Sorry, OP. It doesn't feel good to be disliked. But I wouldn't pursue it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let it go. You are not Nutella, you can not expect everybody in the world to love you.

I get that, but she’s nicer to total strangers than she is to me, so I’ve clearly rubbed her the wrong way. Just wish I knew what I did. I’m obviously a people-pleaser.

You could remind her of someone she hates. Really. As a self described people pleaser, I'm sure you haven't done anything wrong. Not everyone will like us, some for no good reason. Don't give it another thought.

[Anonymous]

You've never done anything to this woman to make her dislike you, so she apparently takes her crap out on random people.

I'm guessing a challenging home life.

[Anonymous]

Do you represent something she doesn't like, OP?

When we moved, my blonde, blue-eyed, neighbor said a few rapid (and I felt insincere) words of welcome and immediately said: "So your children are highly academic and good at math, aren't they?". We are Asian, and we were the first Asians to move into that street. Later I noticed how very much more friendly she was with white neighbors than others.

It's been years now, and I feel she has warmed towards me, a fact I'm delighted about, since through me hopefully she will realize that non-whites aren't people to be scared or jealous of.

Just stay courteous and move on, OP. This person has issues, and it's not your fault.

[Anonymous]

I can't stand people who have a nervous laugh. And I don't like interacting with people who are stupid. Maybe you wear too much perfume and it irritates her. I try to be polite, but keep the interactions as short as possible.

You have to let it go.

[Anonymous]

I have some people i irrationally hate. Maybe because their voice is annoying. Or their pheromones don't click with mine. Or I'm just a petty bitch. Who knows. Let it go.