When someone seems to dislike you for no obvious reason

[Anonymous]

I’ve had this experience and it sucks, OP. There’s not much you can do but just keep on with your life. Once I had this situation and we ended up driving in a small group together for a field trip and going for margaritas bc we had an hour to kill before kids were dismissed. Anyway, she was much more friendly in the small group. I have observed her and realized she is just not very friendly unless you know her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm swim team mom and I dislike (hate is way too strong) you because of how you ask your questions. Your emails imply you think something is wrong or can be taken as complaints, but you offer little of your time to help. You sit on the sidelines with a sour puss because you're offended people don't come to you and ask you to get involved. I understand you feel left out and this is your personality, but it takes way too much effort to baby you along. I wish you'd just be like all the other parents and ask "what can I do to help?". I just feel so drained dealing with you, I'd prefer to keep my distance.

Oh, also, you speak negatively of others a lot. I can't stand gossip, especially of people I know, so I just don't want you in my life. I'm sorry if that hurts your feelings but I'll never exclude your kids because of you.

I have this mom in the group that I organize! She is NEVER happy with anything and is always offended/upset/feel left out of something. I am unfailingly polite and friendly though, so hopefully she doesn’t realize I find her too draining.

[Anonymous]

I had an old high school friend who I saw occasionally - maybe once every two years, always at a mutual casual friend’s get-together or simply by chance. The last time I saw her, she was curt and dismissive. I couldn’t understand - we were never close but we were always chummy, and I couldn’t think of a way I had offended her based on our interactions. I found out a couple of years later that she became best friends with my brother’s ex-wife, which I didn’t know about because my ex-SIL is unconnected to any other mutual acquaintances and I don’t do social media. Once I found that out, it made sense. Ex-SIL cultivates intimacy by telling “friends” made up gossip to draw them in and prove herself “loyal”. Point is you never know what nutty person with a grudge may have a connection to someone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes being disliked/liked is very irrational. Do you know the ‘ex girlfriend effect’? Let’s say you remind somehow someone that the person dislike/liked in the past, that can form an unconscious bias in the judgement.

+1

[Anonymous]

OP, there is a mom like this I have to interact with a lot. She is just a total B to me, and I thought I was the only one who doesn’t like her because from what I could observe at first she is nice to others. But I noticed she doesn’t get invited on play dates or the birthday circuit. I guarantee you that others have noticed how rude she is and think less of her, not you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, there is a mom like this I have to interact with a lot. She is just a total B to me, and I thought I was the only one who doesn’t like her because from what I could observe at first she is nice to others. But I noticed she doesn’t get invited on play dates or the birthday circuit. I guarantee you that others have noticed how rude she is and think less of her, not you.

eh, I would imagine that the Queen Bee of the swim team is not lacking for play dates and birthday parties. Basically, the social queen bee of the neighborhood is giving Op a very public cold shoulder and Op is mystified as to why.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, there is a mom like this I have to interact with a lot. She is just a total B to me, and I thought I was the only one who doesn’t like her because from what I could observe at first she is nice to others. But I noticed she doesn’t get invited on play dates or the birthday circuit. I guarantee you that others have noticed how rude she is and think less of her, not you.

eh, I would imagine that the Queen Bee of the swim team is not lacking for play dates and birthday parties. Basically, the social queen bee of the neighborhood is giving Op a very public cold shoulder and Op is mystified as to why.

I’m “Queen Bee” in my HOA and deal with a Mom like OP. Single parent (so have to keep an eye on her). Renter. Always brings Store-bought cookies to pot lucks because she’s “just so busy. Just doesn’t look like a resident of our HOA.

It’s just tiring to deal with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, there is a mom like this I have to interact with a lot. She is just a total B to me, and I thought I was the only one who doesn’t like her because from what I could observe at first she is nice to others. But I noticed she doesn’t get invited on play dates or the birthday circuit. I guarantee you that others have noticed how rude she is and think less of her, not you.

eh, I would imagine that the Queen Bee of the swim team is not lacking for play dates and birthday parties. Basically, the social queen bee of the neighborhood is giving Op a very public cold shoulder and Op is mystified as to why.

I’m “Queen Bee” in my HOA and deal with a Mom like OP. Single parent (so have to keep an eye on her). Renter. Always brings Store-bought cookies to pot lucks because she’s “just so busy. Just doesn’t look like a resident of our HOA.

It’s just tiring to deal with her.

You have to be trolling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, there is a mom like this I have to interact with a lot. She is just a total B to me, and I thought I was the only one who doesn’t like her because from what I could observe at first she is nice to others. But I noticed she doesn’t get invited on play dates or the birthday circuit. I guarantee you that others have noticed how rude she is and think less of her, not you.

eh, I would imagine that the Queen Bee of the swim team is not lacking for play dates and birthday parties. Basically, the social queen bee of the neighborhood is giving Op a very public cold shoulder and Op is mystified as to why.

I’m “Queen Bee” in my HOA and deal with a Mom like OP. Single parent (so have to keep an eye on her). Renter. Always brings Store-bought cookies to pot lucks because she’s “just so busy. Just doesn’t look like a resident of our HOA.

It’s just tiring to deal with her.

Exhausting I'm sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm swim team mom and I dislike (hate is way too strong) you because of how you ask your questions. Your emails imply you think something is wrong or can be taken as complaints, but you offer little of your time to help. You sit on the sidelines with a sour puss because you're offended people don't come to you and ask you to get involved. I understand you feel left out and this is your personality, but it takes way too much effort to baby you along. I wish you'd just be like all the other parents and ask "what can I do to help?". I just feel so drained dealing with you, I'd prefer to keep my distance.

Oh, also, you speak negatively of others a lot. I can't stand gossip, especially of people I know, so I just don't want you in my life. I'm sorry if that hurts your feelings but I'll never exclude your kids because of you.

Oops, I should add, I'm not "really" swim-team mom. I'm another group mom and this is why I have a relationship like you describe in your OP.

NP. You sound like a horrible person.

[Anonymous]

Could it be jealously because of looks? Meaning she’s maybe overweight and unattractive and your thin and still good looking? Sounds juvenile but some adults still act this way, almost like Junior High like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could it be jealously because of looks? Meaning she’s maybe overweight and unattractive and your thin and still good looking? Sounds juvenile but some adults still act this way, almost like Junior High like.

+1

[Anonymous]

Let it go. What else can you do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, there is a mom like this I have to interact with a lot. She is just a total B to me, and I thought I was the only one who doesn’t like her because from what I could observe at first she is nice to others. But I noticed she doesn’t get invited on play dates or the birthday circuit. I guarantee you that others have noticed how rude she is and think less of her, not you.

eh, I would imagine that the Queen Bee of the swim team is not lacking for play dates and birthday parties. Basically, the social queen bee of the neighborhood is giving Op a very public cold shoulder and Op is mystified as to why.

I’m “Queen Bee” in my HOA and deal with a Mom like OP. Single parent (so have to keep an eye on her). Renter. Always brings Store-bought cookies to pot lucks because she’s “just so busy. Just doesn’t look like a resident of our HOA.

It’s just tiring to deal with her.

Ugh. Seriously? Wtf is wrong with you. You run an HOA and bake cookies, you aren’t saving lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, there is a mom like this I have to interact with a lot. She is just a total B to me, and I thought I was the only one who doesn’t like her because from what I could observe at first she is nice to others. But I noticed she doesn’t get invited on play dates or the birthday circuit. I guarantee you that others have noticed how rude she is and think less of her, not you.

eh, I would imagine that the Queen Bee of the swim team is not lacking for play dates and birthday parties. Basically, the social queen bee of the neighborhood is giving Op a very public cold shoulder and Op is mystified as to why.

I’m “Queen Bee” in my HOA and deal with a Mom like OP. Single parent (so have to keep an eye on her). Renter. Always brings Store-bought cookies to pot lucks because she’s “just so busy. Just doesn’t look like a resident of our HOA.

It’s just tiring to deal with her.

Exhausting I'm sure.

That and her busy orange theory schedule must be “lit”