When someone seems to dislike you for no obvious reason

[Anonymous]

swim team patents can be cliquish. She may be close to other very involved and active parents, or the parents of other kids who are high-performing, or those who have been on the team as long as her kids have. I’m guessing that she isn’t as inclusive as you think. Do you observe her being kind to other parents of kids who aren’t in that “inner circle”?

My kids don’t do swim team but at our pool it definitely dominates the social scene and if you aren’t in that circle you’re definitely invisible. But even within the team, there’s an inner circle and an outer circle. That aspect of it just doesn’t appeal to me.

[Anonymous]

^^ meant you’re *basically* invisible.

[Anonymous]

I dunno OP. I have people I thought were friends that disappear completely from my life and don’t know why. Are they depressed and introverted or overwhelmed? No idea, they don’t say, just turn me down for get togethers or don’t reply. Luckily I have plenty of other friends who do. I figure if they don’t like me anymore that’s their issue and I’m not going to dwell on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I come across someone like that I'm reminded of something my husband once said about a woman who was being a big pain in the ass. He said "what that woman really needs is a good f__k!". So when I meet someone like that I also chuckle and think how right my husband is.

Do you think of this when men are pains in the ass? You and husband are very crude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't stand people who have a nervous laugh. And I don't like interacting with people who are stupid. Maybe you wear too much perfume and it irritates her. I try to be polite, but keep the interactions as short as possible.

You have to let it go.

How can you tell someone is stupid ?


What did they say to
You?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hear you OP. There are two ladies in my neighborhood who I feel this way about. Not sure what I did to them but I just got the feeling they didn't like me. Then I became PTA president and all of the sudden they are nice to me. Lesson learned--some people are just not nice until you are in a position to get them what they want. I'm not really sure why they think I have any "power" at all (I don't) but it says a lot about who they are and they aren't worth my friendship.

So are you friendly and hangout with them now or just remember they are probably using you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't stand people who have a nervous laugh. And I don't like interacting with people who are stupid. Maybe you wear too much perfume and it irritates her. I try to be polite, but keep the interactions as short as possible.

You have to let it go.

How can you tell someone is stupid ?


What did they say to
You?

This is a person who thinks it's o.k. to be rude to less intelligent people......nice, right? Enough said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let it go. You are not Nutella, you can not expect everybody in the world to love you.

I despise Nutella.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hear you OP. There are two ladies in my neighborhood who I feel this way about. Not sure what I did to them but I just got the feeling they didn't like me. Then I became PTA president and all of the sudden they are nice to me. Lesson learned--some people are just not nice until you are in a position to get them what they want. I'm not really sure why they think I have any "power" at all (I don't) but it says a lot about who they are and they aren't worth my friendship.

So are you friendly and hangout with them now or just remember they are probably using you?

I've always been friendly towards them so that hasn't stopped but, no, we don't hang out. We don't have kids the same age so we likely never would have hung out before but at least now they don't look the other way when I see them.

[Anonymous]

People will like or dislike you based on how you make them feel. But that doesn't mean you own her feelings. Are you attractive enough to me her feel worse about herself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm swim team mom and I dislike (hate is way too strong) you because of how you ask your questions. Your emails imply you think something is wrong or can be taken as complaints, but you offer little of your time to help. You sit on the sidelines with a sour puss because you're offended people don't come to you and ask you to get involved. I understand you feel left out and this is your personality, but it takes way too much effort to baby you along. I wish you'd just be like all the other parents and ask "what can I do to help?". I just feel so drained dealing with you, I'd prefer to keep my distance.

Oh, also, you speak negatively of others a lot. I can't stand gossip, especially of people I know, so I just don't want you in my life. I'm sorry if that hurts your feelings but I'll never exclude your kids because of you.

Oops, I should add, I'm not "really" swim-team mom. I'm another group mom and this is why I have a relationship like you describe in your OP.

NP. You sound like a horrible person.

Hmm, I'm actually quite friendly and well liked. But you're entitled to believe as you wish. Have a super day!

[Anonymous]

NP here - I once had an exercise group instructor who just didn’t seem to like me. He wasn’t exactly rude, but he almost never chatted with me (he was super friendly with all of my classmates) and he seemed to shush my conversations more than others during class time.

No one else ever said anything, so I could have been imagining it - but i generally don’t spend a lot of time worrying over stuff like this, so probably not. In the end, I just figured that he fundamentally didn’t like me for some reason but thankfully, was too polite to make a big deal about it. A little bit sad, but it is what it is. He was a good instructor and it was a great class, so I overall have good memories.

[Anonymous]

Volunteer and get trained to be a stroke and turn official this summer and she'll love you...seriously. I am head swim team mom and there's nobody I love more than parents who are willing to become officials!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:swim team patents can be cliquish. She may be close to other very involved and active parents, or the parents of other kids who are high-performing, or those who have been on the team as long as her kids have. I’m guessing that she isn’t as inclusive as you think. Do you observe her being kind to other parents of kids who aren’t in that “inner circle”?

My kids don’t do swim team but at our pool it definitely dominates the social scene and if you aren’t in that circle you’re definitely invisible. But even within the team, there’s an inner circle and an outer circle. That aspect of it just doesn’t appeal to me.

+1 swim team is so incredibly boring that what else can they do be revert to MS?

[Anonymous]

I was in a similar situation, OP. A woman whose kid was on my kid's soccer team was cold to me but warmer to other people. I wondered at times if it was the fact that I'm a single mom - sometimes married moms get nervous about the single chick in their social circle. (I'm not hot or flirty w/ the dads - had never interacted with her husband so figured it wasn't that.)

I never did figure it out, but our kids ended up different soccer teams the next year and I never really had to deal with it again.