bringing toys to the playground and not sharing

[Anonymous]

Went to a playground yesterday and there were 3 brothers. Each brought a toy, and adamantly refused to share.

My 2 year old picked up a random, bright pink ball. A kid (age 4?) across the mulch, grabs it from his hands. “THAT IS MY BALL.” Kid puts the ball to the side and runs off without it. My son cries, I comfort him and he moves on. Ball is grabbed again by another kid, and the owner runs back and screams again.

Two other boys, age 5ish and 2ish, are playing with a remote control cars. ALL of the kids are chasing the cars. They’re cool! Kids are begging for a turn. The boys keep saying “it’s mine, it’s special, leave it alone, it’s mine!” Kids all look both excited and defeated. My 3.5 year old is begging for a turn to see it and I direct him elsewhere. The younger one with the remote control car keeps dropping it and running away and then someone takes it (of course) and the kid comes running back screaming for the car.

This goes on and on. Kids with the toys (car and ball) are all the playground, not in one place. The mom just says “it is his special toy and he doesn’t have to share” (I over hear this, I don’t ask her).

[Anonymous]

Annoying behavior because of course kids are going to want to play with balls and remote control cars, but the mom is technically correct; they do not HAVE to share. But a smarter decision would be to make the kids place toys they're not playing with near her for her to put away where they don't cause problems. She was just being difficult.

If DD brings toys to the park or pool, I encourage her to let other kids take a turn if they're interested. I try not to say "share" because so many times other kids take that to mean, I can just take this for however long I want. "Take a turn" is a little more specific that you have to give it back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Annoying behavior because of course kids are going to want to play with balls and remote control cars, but the mom is technically correct; they do not HAVE to share. But a smarter decision would be to make the kids place toys they're not playing with near her for her to put away where they don't cause problems. She was just being difficult.

If DD brings toys to the park or pool, I encourage her to let other kids take a turn if they're interested. I try not to say "share" because so many times other kids take that to mean, I can just take this for however long I want. "Take a turn" is a little more specific that you have to give it back.

And I'll add that if it's a "special toy," as in expensive, I'm not bringing that to the park anyway.

[Anonymous]

They're kids OP. Lots of kids have problems sharing. When my first born was small, I tried to keep him from bringing toys to the playground because I knew he was "challenged" in the sharing department, but sometimes they bring them when you're not looking. Anyway, kids grow up and learn to share. Have a little patience in the meantime.

[Anonymous]

I taught mine that we do not touch things that do not belong to us without asking first. I also taught her to bring a few extra toys along for inviting others to play and share.

[Anonymous]

That mom is right, OP. This scenario annoys me, too, but it is what it is. It's why I don't let my kids bring toys to the playground (also: we go there to get away from their usual stuff). I also try hard to steer my kids away from other kids' toys at the playground, even when the parents are open to sharing, because it rarely ends peacefully.

[Anonymous]

In the other parents defense, my kids toys have literally been taken by other kids who treat them like community property. Run off with the ball and then leave it where ever when they are finished. Parents do nothing. Agreed that personal toys not being used should be kept near the parent.. It is lesson for your child. Sorry Larlo, that ball is hers. If you would like to bring a ball next tine we come, we will. Now we are going to chose between the things that belong to everyone. Would you like to do the swings or the slide?

[Anonymous]

No they should not have to share. Bring your own toys.

[Anonymous]

Yeah. I specifically tell my 3 year old not to bring toys to the playground. No she doesn't have to share, but I eliminate the issue by just not bringing anything in the first place.

[Anonymous]

You have to steer your child away OP. It sucks, but it is what it is. I still remember going to the playground when my kids were little and there was this adult blowing bubbles and giving turns to some children, but 4 including mine were just waiting patiently nearby thinking they would get a chance too and she just avoided them the whole time. It sucks but we have to steer them away when they are sad or cry. Mine were 3 or 4 then.

[Anonymous]

Our daycare teaches kids the magic words "from home," and they must really drill it in strongly. My preschoolers are prone to talking back and arguing when denied things they want, but if I say that something is somebody's "from home," they accept it instantly and demands for the item cease.

[Anonymous]

I think this ‘no sharing’ thing is new. If my kid wants to bring a toy to the playground, I make them share. If they don’t want to share, it goes in my bag or back in the car. The only exception I can think of is if it’s a toy that can only be played with in the park, like when my son got some flying drone thing. But even then I still make him let other (older) kids have turns if they are really begging for it. Not going to let a 2yo play with the expensive thing. But if my toddler brings a ball, she better be prepared to pass it back and forth.

[Anonymous]

Yes, if the kiddo wants to take a toy to the park, he needs to agree to share it beforehand, or it stays home. I used to practice little lines with him: e.g., "You can play with my car while I swing, but I'd like it back afterward." He got the message pretty quickly.

[Anonymous]

OP here.

The movement of "no sharing" came from the notion that "Share!" basically meant giving what you are playing with to someone else. I do not think that is "sharing".

The problems with these various scenes were
1. Kid wasn't even playing with the ball. He just didn't want anyone else playing with it.

2. You shouldn't bring a cool, new toy like a remote control car to the playground if don't want anyone to see it. I'm not saying you have to hand over the control to my kid, but your kid shouldn't be shouting NO IT IS MINE to everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this ‘no sharing’ thing is new. If my kid wants to bring a toy to the playground, I make them share. If they don’t want to share, it goes in my bag or back in the car. The only exception I can think of is if it’s a toy that can only be played with in the park, like when my son got some flying drone thing. But even then I still make him let other (older) kids have turns if they are really begging for it. Not going to let a 2yo play with the expensive thing. But if my toddler brings a ball, she better be prepared to pass it back and forth.

Right? If you bring a ball to a playground, it is fair game. Literally.