bringing toys to the playground and not sharing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always taught my kids when they were younger that if you bring your own toys to the playground then prepare for them to get broken by other kids. The stone, cold truth works.

+1

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you sound insufferable. I tell my boys, don’t bring the toy to the playground if you don’t want to share. If you do bring a toy, you must be open to sharing. Also, don’t take others’ toys without asking first. If they say no, you have to accept it.

We can’t control others, but I try to teach my kids to always err on the side of generosity. What if you have all the toys in the world but no friends?! Is this the type of world we want to create?

Just share, be generous, see other kids enjoy your toy and experience the good in life, together- in isolation.

So if you're not currently using your (watch/handbag/dress/car) then you won't mind if do, right? Doesn't matter if you don't know me, it's all in the spirit of sharing. After all, you brought it into a public space.

That’s a good job about pointing out the hypocrisy here. It’s not as if parents in, say, n Arlington or Bethesda are into sharing anything they have.

Now you are getting hyperbolic. I would however always offer you to my wipes, extra snacks if your kids are interested (making usre with you that your kid doesn’t have allergies), and whatever may be easily shared. I also often let my friends borrow our things and donate.

If it is off limits, I don’t bring it out in public! But the idea that you promote no sharing seems really selfish and not good for kids.

Yeah, tell them use it until their done but if they aren’t using it, let others use it! What is the harm??!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Many things annoyed me about the situation. The big one was when the kid (age 5-7) took the ball from my 2 year olds hands “THATS MY BALL” and then put it next to his mom and ran away. He wasn’t playing with it. He wasn’t playing with it when my son found it either. And it wasn’t an expensive ball. It was just a ball.

Don’t bring a ball to the playground, and then yell at kids who touch it. Come on, now.

You should have told your child no to the ball as its not ours. Instead without asking you took another child's ball. Child was fine to say that's my ball and take it back. Cost has nothing to do with it. You and your child did not have permission to play with it.

+1 No idea why you thought it was okay to allow your child to grab another kid's toy. It is irrelevant that the ball wasn't being played with at the moment.

If you’re taking kids somewhere to play in the large sandbox that doesn’t have sand toys then it’s not my problem you’re not prepared. Parents think their kid is entitled to the toys we planned for and brought. If kids ask politely we share. If they just grab then we say sorry that’s ours. We used to share all the time but then had to chase down balls and other toys that the parents didn’t bother to keep track of much less return to us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No they should not have to share. Bring your own toys.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No they should not have to share. Bring your own toys.

+1

...the conservative point of view leaks in.

Apparently you don’t, but we teach our kids to care about other people. If we’re not using the ball, and it makes some other kid happy, we want them to use it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

The movement of "no sharing" came from the notion that "Share!" basically meant giving what you are playing with to someone else. I do not think that is "sharing".

The problems with these various scenes were
1. Kid wasn't even playing with the ball. He just didn't want anyone else playing with it.

2. You shouldn't bring a cool, new toy like a remote control car to the playground if don't want anyone to see it. I'm not saying you have to hand over the control to my kid, but your kid shouldn't be shouting NO IT IS MINE to everyone.

You are very wrong. A child should not have to share. If your kid breaks the toy, will you replace it? They are personal toys. If someone asks to use your phone, is that community property as it’s at the park and will you say yes?

This is a false equivalency. Take a deep breath and realize that a child's soccer ball is not the same as a toy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

The movement of "no sharing" came from the notion that "Share!" basically meant giving what you are playing with to someone else. I do not think that is "sharing".

The problems with these various scenes were
1. Kid wasn't even playing with the ball. He just didn't want anyone else playing with it.

2. You shouldn't bring a cool, new toy like a remote control car to the playground if don't want anyone to see it. I'm not saying you have to hand over the control to my kid, but your kid shouldn't be shouting NO IT IS MINE to everyone.

You are very wrong. A child should not have to share. If your kid breaks the toy, will you replace it? They are personal toys. If someone asks to use your phone, is that community property as it’s at the park and will you say yes?

This is a false equivalency. Take a deep breath and realize that a child's soccer ball is not the same as a toy.

Oops, meant to say not the same as a phone! Hahaha, someone needs to share their coffee with me.

[Anonymous]

In general, I tell my kid that if she takes a toy to the playground, she should be prepared to let other kids use i, either with her or taking turns. Exceptions include things like scooters, or if it's something that we are doing together. But something like a ball or some sand toys? Reasonable to expect a kid to share. And, as we tell her, it's more fun to play with a ball with another kid than by yourself.

BUT

We also teach her that she need to ASK before she starts to play with someone else's toy. And if the kid says no, that's it, you don't play with it. It's not "sharing" if you have to.

And we've had to tell kids that they can't play with things because they aren't playing nicely. I've taken my kid's ball away from kids who were trying to see if they could kick it over the fence. I've taken toys away from kids who were playing too roughly (likely to either break the toy or hurt another kid)--or even not sharing with other kids. If my kid lets you play with her stuff, you'd better not be selfish with it, because it isn't even yours. We've had kids break all her sidewalk chalk and not apologize.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Many things annoyed me about the situation. The big one was when the kid (age 5-7) took the ball from my 2 year olds hands “THATS MY BALL” and then put it next to his mom and ran away. He wasn’t playing with it. He wasn’t playing with it when my son found it either. And it wasn’t an expensive ball. It was just a ball.

Don’t bring a ball to the playground, and then yell at kids who touch it. Come on, now.

You should have told your child no to the ball as its not ours. Instead without asking you took another child's ball. Child was fine to say that's my ball and take it back. Cost has nothing to do with it. You and your child did not have permission to play with it.

+1 No idea why you thought it was okay to allow your child to grab another kid's toy. It is irrelevant that the ball wasn't being played with at the moment.

If you’re taking kids somewhere to play in the large sandbox that doesn’t have sand toys then it’s not my problem you’re not prepared. Parents think their kid is entitled to the toys we planned for and brought. If kids ask politely we share. If they just grab then we say sorry that’s ours. We used to share all the time but then had to chase down balls and other toys that the parents didn’t bother to keep track of much less return to us.

Your problems would be solved if you realize that this is not really a problem.

Why bother going to the park if playing with other kids is so miserable? Stay at home and don't bother with public spaces.

[Anonymous]

My child is older now (10), so this is no longer and issue, but when he was younger, I would have expected him to share cheaper toys like a ball, frisbee, etc., but not something expensive like a remote control car. I would also have let him bring a remote control car to the park, because we have no place to drive it around in our home/small grass yard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In general, I tell my kid that if she takes a toy to the playground, she should be prepared to let other kids use i, either with her or taking turns. Exceptions include things like scooters, or if it's something that we are doing together. But something like a ball or some sand toys? Reasonable to expect a kid to share. And, as we tell her, it's more fun to play with a ball with another kid than by yourself.

BUT

We also teach her that she need to ASK before she starts to play with someone else's toy. And if the kid says no, that's it, you don't play with it. It's not "sharing" if you have to.

And we've had to tell kids that they can't play with things because they aren't playing nicely. I've taken my kid's ball away from kids who were trying to see if they could kick it over the fence. I've taken toys away from kids who were playing too roughly (likely to either break the toy or hurt another kid)--or even not sharing with other kids. If my kid lets you play with her stuff, you'd better not be selfish with it, because it isn't even yours. We've had kids break all her sidewalk chalk and not apologize.

'

This is reasonable. Fortunately I think most families follow this approach.

I have a toddler so obviously he's not perfect, but he's learning to share his toys and ask to play with other children and their toys. Thank goodness I've never actually encountered the nasty "personal property" people on this thread.