DS is a Magnet for Crazy

[Anonymous]

DS is in his 20's and is once again trying to extract himself from a relationship with an attractive but very mentally troubled young woman. This women is having panic attacks, obsessive thoughts, threatening harm to herself, etc. She is under medical care but she is still unstable and is trying to get back together with DS. I am concerned about the stress and safety of both of them.

He has gotten involved with other women that struggled with sanity and mental health issues. In each case DS said he didn't realize they had severe mental problems until several months into it and then the break ups were scary.

What are the warning signs of mental illness that he us missing?? How do you detect crazy in the dating pool?

[Anonymous]

Maybe he likes crazy?

Men in their 20s often like crazy.

[Anonymous]

Actually he doesn't like crazy or high maintenance women that's why he breaks up with them. He is naive and a nice guy. That may be part of the problem. I wish I could give him a checklist of red flags but if someone is concealing their mental problems, I don't know what clues there would be.

[Anonymous]

I got involved with a crazy woman in my 20s and married her. She got even crazier after marriage. The marriage was bad but the sex was top-notch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Actually he doesn't like crazy or high maintenance women that's why he breaks up with them. He is naive and a nice guy. That may be part of the problem. I wish I could give him a checklist of red flags but if someone is concealing their mental problems, I don't know what clues there would be.

Once you have dated crazy and you are not interested in dealing with it again, you can spot the 1 crazy out of 100 people at 100 paces. Your son likes these women for some reason - draw out what drew him in. He may need some professional help with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got involved with a crazy woman in my 20s and married her. She got even crazier after marriage. The marriage was bad but the sex was top-notch.

This is the thing, he's a guy in his 20s who is probably deciding to date based on crazy sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Actually he doesn't like crazy or high maintenance women that's why he breaks up with them. He is naive and a nice guy. That may be part of the problem. I wish I could give him a checklist of red flags but if someone is concealing their mental problems, I don't know what clues there would be.

Once you have dated crazy and you are not interested in dealing with it again, you can spot the 1 crazy out of 100 people at 100 paces. Your son likes these women for some reason - draw out what drew him in. He may need some professional help with this.

+1. Gently OP, please use the active rather than passive tense when referring to your son's preference for mates. They're not coercing him into relationships. Anyone who has dated an unstable person will echo PP's words above. Once you've been close to it you can spot it a mile away. If you want to help your son help him understand why he's seeking these women out, or not moving slow enough to see thing in real time. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

What is 'crazy sex'?? It doesn't sound appealing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS is in his 20's and is once again trying to extract himself from a relationship with an attractive but very mentally troubled young woman. This women is having panic attacks, obsessive thoughts, threatening harm to herself, etc. She is under medical care but she is still unstable and is trying to get back together with DS. I am concerned about the stress and safety of both of them.

He has gotten involved with other women that struggled with sanity and mental health issues. In each case DS said he didn't realize they had severe mental problems until several months into it and then the break ups were scary.

What are the warning signs of mental illness that he us missing?? How do you detect crazy in the dating pool?

DS is lying if he says all these women are severely mentally ill but somehow he can’t tell for several months.

The alternative is that DS meets women with mild mental illness, then he makes them much, much worse through gaslighting and other behaviors. My sociopathic dad this to his first wife, my mom, and wife #3. All were mildly neurotic women that he manipulated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is 'crazy sex'?? It doesn't sound appealing.

I take it you’ve never had it.

[Anonymous]

Is he trying to be a "White Knight" and rescue them? That's often an issue with a lower self-esteem guy.

Have him read some of John Gray's Mars/Venus books on relationships. I think they are very good from both male and female perspectives. And I know alot of people don't like her, but I think Dr Laura's "Ten Stupid Things Men do to Mess Up Their Lives" could really help him.

[Anonymous]

OP here. He is really frustrated with dating in general and I hope he doesn't give up. He has had to temporarily move from his apt because he is afraid of her stalking or vandalizing his car.

Do other men have problems with crazies like this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS is in his 20's and is once again trying to extract himself from a relationship with an attractive but very mentally troubled young woman. This women is having panic attacks, obsessive thoughts, threatening harm to herself, etc. She is under medical care but she is still unstable and is trying to get back together with DS. I am concerned about the stress and safety of both of them.

He has gotten involved with other women that struggled with sanity and mental health issues. In each case DS said he didn't realize they had severe mental problems until several months into it and then the break ups were scary.

What are the warning signs of mental illness that he us missing?? How do you detect crazy in the dating pool?

DS is lying if he says all these women are severely mentally ill but somehow he can’t tell for several months.

The alternative is that DS meets women with mild mental illness, then he makes them much, much worse through gaslighting and other behaviors. My sociopathic dad this to his first wife, my mom, and wife #3. All were mildly neurotic women that he manipulated.

Are you saying that someone can't hid their crazy for the first few months of a relationship?

[Anonymous]

Google the "Hot/Crazy Index" - it is gospel and you're welcome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He is really frustrated with dating in general and I hope he doesn't give up. He has had to temporarily move from his apt because he is afraid of her stalking or vandalizing his car.

Do other men have problems with crazies like this?

I think dating is a disaster for both men and women these days. We've thrown all the "rules" out the window, but now it's chaos where anything is possible, but few people are getting their needs met, and it's emotionally damaging for men and women.