How to handle wife getting hit-on in front of you

[Anonymous]

Wife cracked the screen on her phone and became very angry about it. We have damage insurance through our cell carrier so we went to the phone store to get the phone fixed.
Because wife was upset she was refusing to participate in the conversation I was having with the guy at the cell store about getting her phone fixed.
The guy looked up our family plan check our damage insurance spoke with me about calling the repair shop. After I called and set up a repair appointment the guy said that the phone needed to have the OS updated. I asked my wife is she wanted the OS updated and she walked over and handed the guy her phone. He stood next to her and started doing stuff on the phone. I watched for a minute and then I turned to look at one of the displays. As I turned back around I saw the last part of some interaction between him and my wife. She was smiling and slightly blushing. I didn't think much because right at that moment he said "all done!" It felt like a very quick OS updated because it was only a minute or two but I was preoccupied thinking about the repair appointment we just made. As we walked out of the store she told me that he had opened some text program on her phone and started typing some messages to her and didn't not update her OS.

I turned around and walked up to the guy and asked if he had updated her OS or whether he was typing her messages behind my back. He kind of smiled and said "you won't find any messages from me." I asked for the manager. The manager was standing right there and I'm sure she overheard the interaction but instead of handling the situation immediately when I directly addressed her she made me wait for about 5 minutes while she typed on the stores ipad. I told the manager about the situation and asked if what the policy was when employees use their position and personally identifiable information obtained from their job to make advances towards women. I asked her if she, as a woman, would feel comfortable and safe if someone used her service plan to try and pick her up especially right in front of her husband. She wouldn't give a direct answer and said the situation would be addressed IF it was true.

I got all the employees business cards but I don't know how to handle the situation. I really controlled myself while I was there. I'm feeling humiliated and disrespected. This guy was late teens or early twenties.

I'm sure my wife's behavior gave this guy the impression he had an opening but her stepped out of bounds especially because he did this while at work and used his job duties as a pretext.

I'm upset with her about this but I'm more angry with him. She was being bratty but didn't intend for this to happen. He, on the other hand, knew what he was doing.

Do you think the company will do anything if I write a letter to them?

(a letter is the only recourse because men are no longer allowed to fight...)

[Anonymous]

You sound like a controlling weirdo.

[Anonymous]

* "he stepped out of bound"

also wife is late 20s and I'm early 30s.. just to give context.

[Anonymous]

You acted like a complete lunatic.

[Anonymous]

Acted like a total psycho, but “I really controlled myself while I was there.”

Pray tell, OP...what does not being in control of yourself look like?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound like a controlling weirdo.

This, and if it is for real, maybe you should give her more attention if she needs to get her needs met from the guy at the phone store.

[Anonymous]

What?


Have you ever gone to a bar and talked to women? Any man should know how to deal with a situation like this.

(Ok, since it seems like I must be explicit, what to do;
Pretend you don’t know about the flirting. Go back into the store, embarrass the employee for doing a bad job on the phone, tell his manager he is terrible at his job. Leave, on top. )

[Anonymous]

Or:

Go back in the store. Accuse the employee of getting grease all over your wife’s phone. “Wow, this is disgusting?! What do you have on your hands? Manager, I don’t want this guy working on my phone ever again. God. Is this poop? Unbelievable.” Storm out, on top.

[Anonymous]

Omg - what does “my wife’s behavior made him think he had an opening” mean?
You are a psycho!!!

[Anonymous]

You sound very young. Deal with your wife and improving your communications and the way you treat each other.

Drop the concern for some weirdo in a store who offered dick. Who cares? The fact that you take this to an anon board for feedback... seriously this is above our paygrade. Seek therapy for the two of you, especially if you had planned on having kids.

[Anonymous]

OP here....

I hope you people are trolls.

do you people really think it is OK for someone at a store to use an OS update as a pretext to type a message that says "if you're unhappy with him I can make you happy?"


And yes, I controlled myself because I did not raise my voice, I did not say anything rude and I did not act like a lunatic. I acted like someone who expected to be treated with respect.

[Anonymous]

Honestly? This reads like some weird cuckold fetish story-thing.

If someone is hitting on your wife in front of you, you raise an eyebrow, give a slight smile, and either lean back to watch what she does (if she likes to take care of herself) or (if she is giving signals she is okay, and you are exasperated) turn around and occupy yourself with something else.

If she is intimidated or flustered, you back her in any way she wants. You don't take over unless she asks you too. Presumably she is not a toddler.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Omg - what does “my wife’s behavior made him think he had an opening” mean?
You are a psycho!!!

What it means is she was frowning and was visibly angry and was refusing to talk to me. She broke her phone and she went crazy demanding that I get it fixed for her. I was not the one acting psycho. I figured the guy saw she was angry and figured that was his opening.

[Anonymous]

Or:
Go back into the store. Tell the employee you need to see a phone. No, not that one. The one up there. Go get a ladder, fool. Oh, no I need to see that one over there. And wow yes that one, the really expensive phone that nets a big commission.
Then near the end of the sale, before paying, say: nah, you were rude to my wife so I’ll go do my phone purchase at another store.


Point is, OP: you were out-testosteroned by another guy. Some guys care about stuff like that. Apparently you are one. But guys that do care about that typically understand how to assert dominance over another guy. (Tattling to the manager about what he actually did is not the right answer.)

For women who are reading this: Yes, this is really what a lot of guys are like. Yes, it’s stupid. I’m sorry.

[Anonymous]

Once upon a time, I was at a grocery store with DH and the checkout person said, as she was gathering the stuff on the conveyor belt, “are you two together?” And my DH winked at her and said, “we don’t have to be.” She giggled. How disrespectful! Right in front of me! After work, I followed her to her car and beat the brakes off her.

Or rather, I didn’t. Because I’m not psychotic, and the entirety exchange was frivolous.

Channel your intensity into sudoku, OP.