Polite detachment in face of emotional outburst

[Anonymous]

I recently had an awkward encounter with a friend where she something had done something and I was upset about it. I told her I was upset. She was just looking at me with what I could only best describe as polite detachment. She only said, “ Well I see your point but I no longer want to go back and forth on this. “ and walked away.

Erm...wtf? Is she a sociopath?

[Anonymous]

We need the backstory.

[Anonymous]

Some people just don't like conflict, and avoid unless it is a very serious issue. If there had been some back and forth, and she perceived the issue as trivial, at a certain point it is reasonable to want to shut it down.

[Anonymous]

Some people think detachment = maturity. Tell them to watch the new Serena Nike ad

[Anonymous]

Op here. It wasn’t trivial. It was kind of a big deal but she thinks I’m wrong to be upset and doesn’t care that I am.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. It wasn’t trivial. It was kind of a big deal but she thinks I’m wrong to be upset and doesn’t care that I am.

Well, if you want actual advice, you'd need to spill on the backstory.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I can see myself reacting the same way.

[Anonymous]

well, sometimes there is no point to trying to talk reasonably with someone who is all worked up. Calm down and maybe you can discuss it.

[Anonymous]

She might have had the most emotionally healthy and polite response possible to you at that time. Can't tell without details.

The Serena for Nike is about encouraging girls and women to follow their dreams. It's not etiquette advice for how to handle interpersonal interactions with someone who might have an idiosyncratic idea of personal space and boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I can see myself reacting the same way.

+1 Oversensitive and dramatic people are a trigger for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some people just don't like conflict, and avoid unless it is a very serious issue. If there had been some back and forth, and she perceived the issue as trivial, at a certain point it is reasonable to want to shut it down.

This. She also might have felt like you'd hashed it out and there wasn't anything left to say. It's also possible that you were coming across as way overreacting, too intense, maybe too loud or accusatory, and she just didn't want to engage with it.

[Anonymous]

If you’re the type hat is constantly creating drama or lying, that’s how I’d respond to you too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some people think detachment = maturity. Tell them to watch the new Serena Nike ad

Agree. She has poor communication skills and poor conflict resolution skills.

She can’t nuat leave $hit hanging and walk away to never deal with it.

If she doesn’t come back to actually resolve the conflict, the only thing you ever need to say is that you had hoped she went off to cool down and then return to resolve the conflict. Then go on and say it’s unfortunate that she does not want to clear this up, resolve it, and then move. Brushing things under a rug is not moving on nor mature.

Now you know you can’t trust her. You can still be friends but dont count in her to do the right thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She might have had the most emotionally healthy and polite response possible to you at that time. Can't tell without details.

The Serena for Nike is about encouraging girls and women to follow their dreams. It's not etiquette advice for how to handle interpersonal interactions with someone who might have an idiosyncratic idea of personal space and boundaries.

Uh.

“If we show emotion, we’re called dramatic,” Williams, says in the ad. “When we stand for something, we’re unhinged. And if we get angry, we’re hysterical, irrational, or just being crazy. ”

[Anonymous]

That's a version: Lets agree to disagree.

It's often better than having a discussion that will lead to nothing but hard feelings.

If you still need to talk about it, and this is really a friend, let her know that you'd like to discuss it one more time before letting it go. But you can't force someone to listen to you or to have a conversation with you. Maybe this person isn't best suited to being your friend.