Am I a Creep and Didn't Know it?

[Sammy76]

Have an office I go to a few days a week to do paperwork\meetings and a woman shares the office with me who works for a relative's dental office up front. She's late 30's with a couple kids about 15 years younger than me. She works a couple nights a week in a "nice" restaurant\bar for a blue collar area. She's somewhat attractive. Very slender, tiny ass, flat chested, nice face...not a stunner by any means.

Seems very awkward that we sit there and rarely converse other than good morning\night. The other day her office manager about my age walked in and immediately said she liked my jacket\vest. This woman who I sit in the office with piped in saying yeah...she liked it too. Felt pretty good. So...a few days after that this woman who I share an office with wasn't wearing those baggy scrubs because she was working at the bar that night. She had on a cute yellow top that somehow accented her breasts. Complimented her that the regulars will be glad to see her smiling face and bright top on such a dreary winter day. She may have said thank you but her head was down and didn't say a word to me the rest of the day. WTF...does this make me a creep? My accountant is here once a week and she was saying how she enjoyed coming here and visiting with this woman while she works. Seriously???

Is there some double standard that a woman at work can compliment a man but a man complimenting a woman is a creep? Is it based on age? As long as a man\woman are around the same age it's okay? BTW, I know these questions sound kinda lame but I'm really trying to understand this harassment thing. I've had dozens of lovers and am not some geeky loser just genuinely curious what's up.

[Anonymous]

Um. You might not be a creep, but you're a weirdo for thinking about this in such detail.

[Anonymous]

Yes.

Even your post reads like Penthouse Forum. Yuck.

[Anonymous]

Yes, Sammy76, you are a creep.

[Anonymous]

You’re a creep for telling us such much about her breasts and figure. She is not there for your titillation, she is doing her job.

[Anonymous]

Well, I wouldn't have thought anything about it one way or the other. Are you saying that she complained to HR that you liked her outfit? Because if she did, that's odd. If she just wasn't talkative, maybe she was working.

[Anonymous]

No one IS a creep.

You made a creepy step. You can learn from it and improve next time.

Lessons:
Perhaps focusing on appearance too much. It can be relevant, but in this case, it wasn’t. For example in your description of her in your post, it wasn’t relevant.

Along the same lines, you were too specific in your compliment to this woman that you don’t know. You’ve barely said hi/bye. Suddenly you’re talking about being cheery and her job and her specific clothing item: a top.

So next time, when you post here, leave out that she is “slender,” or “not a stunner.” Just a suggestion

And next time, talk about things that aren’t appearance related. Like, “so you work somewhere else too?” “Cool.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re a creep for telling us such much about her breasts and figure. She is not there for your titillation, she is doing her job.

This.
It’s not what you say. It’s the person doing the talking.

[Anonymous]

You may not be a creep, but you're an asshole "not a stunner by any means."................ go home

[Anonymous]

If you think you are, you are.

[Anonymous]

Yes, you’re a creep.

Next!

[Anonymous]

Yes, you are definitely a creep.

[Anonymous]

Your actions, only slightly creepy, but she's probably picking up on the fact that you are fundamentally a super creepy person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re a creep for telling us such much about her breasts and figure. She is not there for your titillation, she is doing her job.

That alone was inappropriate. He needs to do his job and stop bothering the ladies.

[Anonymous]

That was a creepy compliment.

"The regulars will be glad to see her smiling face and bright top on such a dreary winter day."

It is all about people looking at her and finding some type of fulfillment through her appearance. And it implies that you are staring at her top. Everything about that compliment implies she is there for other people's enjoyment. Her smile brings other people joy, her shirt brings other people joy.

A normal compliment would have been, "Hey you look good tonight! Any special plans?"

That is about how SHE looks good and why she might have put more effort into her appearance.