My daughter's roommate

[Anonymous]

Over the past semester, my daughter's roommate has been breaking her belongings, stealing her food, and just in general, making her feel very uneasy and uncomfortable. They are both first years and it's been a rough start to her college career.

DD reported it to the RA and she was pretty useless; she ultimately just said "well, you can always just switch rooms." But that doesn't solve the issue of the lost money of things that were taken.

My daughter found an open single on campus and she is moving there after her last final on Friday.

But my daughter is legitimately concerned this girl is going to retaliate. Any advice? Do we involve campus safety?

[Anonymous]

Was there a disagreement? Did your daughter do something to this girl?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was there a disagreement? Did your daughter do something to this girl?

no.

[Anonymous]

There isn't much that can be done if the roommate is just stealing food or breaking things. Sounds like typical annoying roommate bheavior.

[Anonymous]

Also, how is she making her feel uncomfortable?

You want campus security to intervene because the roommate ate your daughter's twizzlers and broke her flat iron?

[Anonymous]

Why would the girl retaliate against your DD for moving out? Does she like your daughter and is just an a-hole or does she dislike your daughter? "Making her feel very uneasy and uncomfortable" is a bit vague; is it because she felt physically threatened or because she was uncomfortable around someone who steals from her? DD can just tell her that it didn't seem like they were a good match, or can just say that she wants to get her grades up and thinks a single will help her do that.

I think you let go of the financial losses and just get DD out of there. Sorry she's had a bad experience but good for her for making a change.

[Anonymous]

Retaliate for switching rooms? Why would the roommate care?

Are you filing a police report or anything?

[Anonymous]

retaliate? that seems like a lot of effort for moving out.

what form would retaliation really take?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was there a disagreement? Did your daughter do something to this girl?

What could this girl have done that would justify breaking her belongings and stealing her food?

Nice attempt to victim-blame though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, how is she making her feel uncomfortable?

You want campus security to intervene because the roommate ate your daughter's twizzlers and broke her flat iron?

Umm, no. It's a bit different. For example, taking my daughter's iPhone and smashing it against the wall (my daughter is still not sure what provoked it). Wearing her clothes without permission and trashing them.

A moment of weakness in which the roommate steals the tasty looking leftovers in the fridge is one thing, but this goes beyond that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:retaliate? that seems like a lot of effort for moving out.

what form would retaliation really take?

I'm not sure. But it's just like everything my daughter does causes rage in this girl; I'm not really sure why but this seems like it could be a similar situation.

[Anonymous]

Daughter needs to change rooms asap.
'
Daughter needs to report this to whomever supervises RAs at the college. This is not normal or typical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Over the past semester, my daughter's roommate has been breaking her belongings, stealing her food, and just in general, making her feel very uneasy and uncomfortable. They are both first years and it's been a rough start to her college career.

DD reported it to the RA and she was pretty useless; she ultimately just said "well, you can always just switch rooms." But that doesn't solve the issue of the lost money of things that were taken.

My daughter found an open single on campus and she is moving there after her last final on Friday.

But my daughter is legitimately concerned this girl is going to retaliate. Any advice? Do we involve campus safety?

I am glad your daughter has found a single. That is a good thing. I think you can just say goodbye to the stuff that was broken and the money, unless you want to press charges.

I would go and help her move so that someone is in the old room all the time if you think the roommate will continue with her destructive behavior.

From what you have posted, I don’t see what the retaliation is for or why she would continue to harass your daughter. If she does, go up the chain to an actual adult and not an RA.

[Anonymous]

WTH? Why would you continue to live with someone who has rage tendencies and breaks things like an iphone unprovoked?

[Anonymous]

Report this to the dean of students and/or school security. The RA seems unequipped to deal with this. And the girl sounds unhinged.