My daughter's roommate

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Daughter needs to change rooms asap.
'
Daughter needs to report this to whomever supervises RAs at the college. This is not normal or typical.

Yup.

[Anonymous]

I'd go help her move so she's not alone with roommate during move out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd go help her move so she's not alone with roommate during move out.

Yes, that’s the plan. We’re driving there on Friday to pick her up, and so we’ll be there to help move

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Move to the single.

Growing up is hard to do.

What does this mean? And yes, she is moving in 3 days.

Going off to college is about growing up. Dealing with crazy roommates is part of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would the girl retaliate against your DD for moving out? Does she like your daughter and is just an a-hole or does she dislike your daughter? "Making her feel very uneasy and uncomfortable" is a bit vague; is it because she felt physically threatened or because she was uncomfortable around someone who steals from her? DD can just tell her that it didn't seem like they were a good match, or can just say that she wants to get her grades up and thinks a single will help her do that.

I think you let go of the financial losses and just get DD out of there. Sorry she's had a bad experience but good for her for making a change.

This.

I was in bad triple situation as a sophomore. No retaliation.

[Anonymous]

Remind your daughter that if someone Damages or steals her property again she should call campus security.

They will either be a full fledged police department or can contact the local pd as needed.

Document the theft. And if it’s a room mate they can help with securing a protective order so the roomate is removed.

At this point I’d move on. The single is a nice bonus.

And if the roomate does anything weird, calls, sends a weird email then your daughter calls campus security and makes a report. She can advise them of the past property distraction and that she is concerned for her safety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Remind your daughter that if someone Damages or steals her property again she should call campus security.

They will either be a full fledged police department or can contact the local pd as needed.

Document the theft. And if it’s a room mate they can help with securing a protective order so the roomate is removed.

At this point I’d move on. The single is a nice bonus.

And if the roomate does anything weird, calls, sends a weird email then your daughter calls campus security and makes a report. She can advise them of the past property distraction and that she is concerned for her safety.

Is she paying more for that single?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would the girl retaliate against your DD for moving out? Does she like your daughter and is just an a-hole or does she dislike your daughter? "Making her feel very uneasy and uncomfortable" is a bit vague; is it because she felt physically threatened or because she was uncomfortable around someone who steals from her? DD can just tell her that it didn't seem like they were a good match, or can just say that she wants to get her grades up and thinks a single will help her do that.

I think you let go of the financial losses and just get DD out of there. Sorry she's had a bad experience but good for her for making a change.

+1

Same applies to the neighbor from Hell, OP. Just GTFO. Done and Done.

The bad room mate (and the neighbor from Hell, if not too far gone) will focus on the next target.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was there a disagreement? Did your daughter do something to this girl?

What could this girl have done that would justify breaking her belongings and stealing her food?

Nice attempt to victim-blame though.

Wow, you’re deeply stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Remind your daughter that if someone Damages or steals her property again she should call campus security.

They will either be a full fledged police department or can contact the local pd as needed.

Document the theft. And if it’s a room mate they can help with securing a protective order so the roomate is removed.

At this point I’d move on. The single is a nice bonus.

And if the roomate does anything weird, calls, sends a weird email then your daughter calls campus security and makes a report. She can advise them of the past property distraction and that she is concerned for her safety.

Is she paying more for that single?

Generally, the over/under is negligible. There are very few singles, and you have to properly legitimize such. I won't tell you how.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was sexually assaulted by a student when I was a freshman. A therapist later told me what I should have done was call the police. It had never occurred to me that you were allowed to do that if you lived at a college campus. Your daughter has that option, too. The RA can't do anything. Small claims court or the police can.

Depends on the college/ university. Some are more powerful than the local police.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:retaliate? that seems like a lot of effort for moving out.

what form would retaliation really take?

HAHAHAHA you should try the local burbs, for a good laugh. In the big city? No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i don't understand why you have allowed it to go this far.

DD just "came clean" about it last week.

Hmm, could DD be trying to deflect from crummy semester grades? Or just trying to justify moving towards friends or a boy in a another (more expensive?) dorm?

[Anonymous]

OP, I would call campus police now and report what has been happening. I would tell them the plan is to move her out on Friday and see what their advice is. They probably can’t do anything about the theft and damage now, but get it on record now. If the girl does retaliate, the police will already be aware.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i don't understand why you have allowed it to go this far.

DD just "came clean" about it last week.

Hmm, could DD be trying to deflect from crummy semester grades? Or just trying to justify moving towards friends or a boy in a another (more expensive?) dorm?

Not OP, but my DD had something similar and didn't tell me about it. I think she wanted to try and deal with it herself. Roommate was tweeting about the stuff she was doing. That's how we found out -- a little twitter stalking on a public twitter profile.