Do You Feel That Affairs Are the Ultimate Selfishness?

[Anonymous]

Especially if there are kids already?

[Anonymous]

It's extreme poor character for the cheaters. There is literally no excuse that can't be countered with the statement "get a divorce first." Yes, divorce is hard. Expensive. Unpleasant. But it's what adults do when a marriage is over.

Instead, cheaters inflict extreme emotional trauma on their families... Making conscious efforts to lie, manipulate, and gaslight their families day after day. Indefinitely, until they are busted.

Kids aren't resilient.
Your spouse isn't responsible for your happiness.
Your affair partner isnt responsible for your happiness.

[Anonymous]

Watch the show Dr. Foster on Netflix. It is a detailed depiction of the pain caused by cheating.

[Anonymous]

Can anyone recommend a book to heal from being the victim of a cheater?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can anyone recommend a book to heal from being the victim of a cheater?

https://www.amazon.com/Aftermath-Betrayal-Michelle-Mays-CSAT-S-ebook/dp/B071JQPLNW

[Anonymous]

How can we make divorces easier

[Anonymous]

If a spouse approaches the other spouse with the desire to divorce, states that there is a risk of cheating, how will that be received? Is this an early "or of affection" no-fault type divorce? Has anyone taken the high road and divorced before the marriage was completely dead?

[Anonymous]

^^loss

[Anonymous]

“The ultimate?” No. There are certainly worse things.

[Anonymous]

What is an example of something more selfish?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is an example of something more selfish?

Murder
Rape
Child abuse
etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is an example of something more selfish?

Neglecting children while you drink, do drugs, party, etc.
Smoking, drinking, doing drugs while pregnant.

[Anonymous]

Not the ultimate, but it’s pretty darn selfish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is an example of something more selfish?

Staying with an abuser; letting your abuser abuse your kids

[Anonymous]

Setting out with the deliberate goal to demoralize and harm the partner as much as possible, whether out of spite, or lashing out from deep feelings of self-loathing, or what have you.

I mean, demoralizing and harming the partner is often the effect of cheating, but it usually isn't the deliberate goal. Cheating is bad. Vicious and vindictive deliberate harm is more selfish and worse.