Evidence he’s cheating. Now what?
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Anonymous
| As of about an hour ago, I have evidence my husband (of 10ish years and 3 kids) is cheating - and has been for about a year. Hotel bookings in town on random days booked very late at night or early in the morning. Reservation always sent to the same woman. His text messages with her are deleted, and she is on silent notifications. Yes, I’ve seen his phone and email. What do I do next? My heart is literally beating out of my chest right now. He is passed out asleep/drunk next to me in bed. He was out with her, and another of their work friends tonight. The hotel nights I’m fairly certain correlate to nights he has returned home at 1-2am.Aways drunk. F. Now what?! |
Anonymous
| He sounds like an alcoholic. Why do you put up with his drinking? |
Anonymous
|
Calm down.
Get your ducks in a row. See an attorney. Start saving some cash. Divorce his ass. I am so sorry. |
Anonymous
| He's an idiot. He has a wide, kids, and a life. Now he's in a pickle. Ask him about it and see what he says. Are you letting him fu@k you still? |
Anonymous
Wife not wide. |
Anonymous
|
Ignore the poster at 00:57. The next 2 have some decent advice, although no one, in the history of time, has ever calmed down because they were told to. You can however breathe easy that you don't have to deal with him tonight since he's asleep and not likely to get up.
Do you have the opportunity to get away from him (and preferably, leave kids with him) for a few days to think things through? Can you feign an emergency (nothing too serious, so it's not easily disproven) with your family or a friend tomorrow that would necessitate you go to them, and stay a few days? You don't even have to go see someone, you could just check into a hotel for some time alone and perspective as long as whoever you tell him you're with would lie for you if he called. Though it sounds like he wouldn't try to check. |
Anonymous
| I am sorry you are struggling. Please do not make any life altering decisions while you are in an emotional place. Today all you need to do is take care of yourself and your children. You should do your best not to confront him at this point and avoid being around him. Go somewhere this morning/today/this weekend where you can be alone. You need to process what has happened. I have been in your shoes and it is a terrible place to be, but you can and will get thru it one way or another. Remember to breath, and also exercise is the best drug around. Good luck to you. |
Anonymous
| His alcoholism bothers me more than the cheating. He needs to sober up. |
Anonymous
| Drinking and coming home after 12 should have been a red flag quite a while ago. |
Anonymous
|
Sorry, OP.
What do you do ... well, what do you WANT to do? Do you want to stay married? Do you want to divorce? Do you want to separate? Do you not know yet? |
Anonymous
| Survivinginfidelity.com |
Anonymous
This. And I am so sorry. Learning that is like getting a knife in the heart. But you need to keep your wits about you and get yourself emotionally and financially safe. Doesn’t mean the marriage is over, but you have to protect yourself as if it is... |
Anonymous
|
DO NOT CONFRONT him today!!
He has the upper hand if you let him know you know about the OW. He will lie and call you crazy. And you will believe you are crazy, because you are emotional and acting crazy. But you should be acting crazy because he just blew up your life. Get your ducks in a row. Give yourself 2-3 weeks to process things, meet with a lawyer, gather evidence, understand your finances, etc. You also need to make the decision to confront him before or after Thanksgiving, before or after Christmas. I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but you will survive this. |
Anonymous
| Get to chumplady.com. |
Anonymous
+1. This don’t let him know |