I think our friend is annoyed with us but she can’t see her own faults.
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
A friend of mine became a mom and I understand things change but
I feel like we’ve bent backwards for her. As friends if X day to see her was not good because she couldn’t make it, we would all accommodate her. We’re a tight knit group but lately we have come to realize she isn’t really accommodating to us She always has to bring her kid with her and frankly we like time for just adults. I decided to speak out when we were having wine night at our friends house and she thought bringing her kid Along would be fine. I told her if she could get a sitter that would be great and if she couldn’t Maybe next time when she could she should meet with us. The gatherings turn into us having to make sure her kid doesn’t get into anything And watching what we say keeping it PG. She just said “Ok” and hasn’t been receptive. I don’t see why she can’t just see that it’s not always about her or her kid I spoke up for the group because we were getting tired of playing sitter since We all have to accommodate due to her bringing the kid around -making sure it’s kid friendly Not swearing. Etc. |
Anonymous
| How old is the child? |
Anonymous
What a horrible sacrifice on your part.  . You probably won't understand until you have children yourselves, which is a shame since your friend will be long gone by then.
|
Anonymous
|
Is she the first in your group to have a child?
|
Anonymous
| Your title is beyond immature and self involved. There’s nearly no point responding. Her life has changed. Now you have to decide if you want to remain actual friends or continue keeping it shallow. |
Anonymous
|
Some people think they should be able to bring a child everywhere. Some places aren't appropriate for children. It's not that hard to understand. If you are that psychotic that you refuse to leave your child with a babysitter, I feel bad for your kid.
These people are selfish and have tunnel vision. They see it as people turning against them or their child. What they fail to realize is that an adult happy hour is designed to be just that. No onenwants to worry about child proofing the room, getting snacks and drinks to accommodate the little crumb snatchers. If one child is allowed, then how can't all children be allowed? Instead of an adult gathering, you have daycare. When a party is throw, the host sets the rules. That's how it works. There are not special exceptions for you because you have a child that you hover over at ever waking moment. |
Anonymous
Ok. So you’re kidfree. If ever you’re not, you will remember the intensity of digging in with shame. Of course there are events that children shouldn’t be at. Babysitting is $$$. If your expectation is for parents to never bring their children, understand you’ll probably see them with far less frequency, and for shorter period of time. “Happy Hour”, costs between $60-80 just in sitter fees. So pick a family friendly brunch spot now and again and try to be decent. |
Anonymous
| Stop inviting her. She'll get it. |
Anonymous
Oh, shut up. You’re probably just like OP’s friend, Captain Mommy Martyr, I cant go anywhere without my kid, everyone must love my snot nosed annoying germ machine. Stop. OP and her friends are perfectly fine in feeling how they do and I commend OP for actually speaking up to this rude entitled woman. Presumably there is a father in the picture so why wouldn’t he watch the kid while the women have wine night once in awhile? No sitter needed. Instead, this woman just wants everyone else to accommodate her. That’s not how it works. PLENTY of people still maintain a social life and be a good friend even after children. OP’s friend isn’t a good friend. |
Anonymous
|
We have a friend like this. The 16 year old considers himself part of our group but he's really not, he's just an awkward teen and it is annoying to always have him around. We're not going to cut her out, though. Sigh!
|
Anonymous
| Wine night over empathy. Mkay. |
Anonymous
Op, You don't get how things change until you have a baby. Sure, you know things aren't the same intellectually but, really you have no idea. You also have every right to want a child free evening. Let me ask you a question. Do you want to see this friend? Depending on how old this child is maybe she doesn't want to or feel comfortable leaving the kid? If you want a child free evening either not invite her or tell her that kids are not welcome. If you want to see her than make arrangements so you can see her and the kid. If not, prepare to lose this friendship. Maybe when you have kids you will understand but, it may be too late for this friendship. And that might be ok with you, who knows? |
Anonymous
| Excellent troll post! You should get plenty of play. |
Anonymous
|
Is she the first one to have kids? If she is that is the reality. She will make new friends with similar interest and at the same point in their life. Don't feel bad.
Also, babysitters cost dinero. She probably doesn't have it. Nothing was more shocking than the amount of previously disposable income that went toward my kid. |
Anonymous
| No, geez, I have a kid. I don't want my fun night away from home to involve caring for children. There is nothing wrong with saying something. |