I think our friend is annoyed with us but she can’t see her own faults.

[Anonymous]

I'll never forget being upset when my bestie wouldn't leave her 2 week old infant to attend a wedding shower for me. She came, she was antsy and wanted to leave quickly. I ate my words 4 years later when I had my first kid and couldn't detach. She was a great friend to me all those years later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A friend of mine became a mom and I understand things change but
I feel like we’ve bent backwards for her. As friends if X day to see her was not good because she couldn’t make it, we would all accommodate her. We’re a tight knit group but lately we have come to realize she isn’t really accommodating to us

She always has to bring her kid with her and frankly we like time for just adults.

I decided to speak out when we were having wine night at our friends house and she thought bringing her kid
Along would be fine. I told her if she could get a sitter that would be great and if she couldn’t
Maybe next time when she could she should meet with us.

The gatherings turn into us having to make sure her kid doesn’t get into anything
And watching what we say keeping it PG.

She just said “Ok” and hasn’t been receptive.

I don’t see why she can’t just see that it’s not always about her or her kid

I spoke up for the group because we were getting tired of playing sitter since
We all have to accommodate due to her bringing the kid around -making sure it’s kid friendly
Not swearing. Etc.

What a horrible sacrifice on your part. . You probably won't understand until you have children yourselves, which is a shame since your friend will be long gone by then.

I have 7 kids. Love kids. I don’t think you should bring them to wine night, either. Sure it means I see my friends less. Or I plan times to see them that are more child friendly. She should know not to bring her kid but clearly is clueless, so good for speaking up. I don’t want to spend my kid free evenings with someone else’s kid either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she the first in your group to have a child?

Is she divorced? Why can’t dad watch the kid in occassional girls night?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, geez, I have a kid. I don't want my fun night away from home to involve caring for children. There is nothing wrong with saying something.

Agree. Sounds like she has socialized babysitting her kid to you all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A friend of mine became a mom and I understand things change but
I feel like we’ve bent backwards for her. As friends if X day to see her was not good because she couldn’t make it, we would all accommodate her. We’re a tight knit group but lately we have come to realize she isn’t really accommodating to us

She always has to bring her kid with her and frankly we like time for just adults.

I decided to speak out when we were having wine night at our friends house and she thought bringing her kid
Along would be fine. I told her if she could get a sitter that would be great and if she couldn’t
Maybe next time when she could she should meet with us.

The gatherings turn into us having to make sure her kid doesn’t get into anything
And watching what we say keeping it PG.

She just said “Ok” and hasn’t been receptive.

I don’t see why she can’t just see that it’s not always about her or her kid

I spoke up for the group because we were getting tired of playing sitter since
We all have to accommodate due to her bringing the kid around -making sure it’s kid friendly
Not swearing. Etc.

What a horrible sacrifice on your part. . You probably won't understand until you have children yourselves, which is a shame since your friend will be long gone by then.

I have 7 kids. Love kids. I don’t think you should bring them to wine night, either. Sure it means I see my friends less. Or I plan times to see them that are more child friendly. She should know not to bring her kid but clearly is clueless, so good for speaking up. I don’t want to spend my kid free evenings with someone else’s kid either.

She spoke out, sure. But it also sounds like she’s stewed about it and gossiped about it more. Next time try to have the conversation ahead of event? It’s less loaded that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she the first in your group to have a child?

Is she divorced? Why can’t dad watch the kid in occassional girls night?

Is it being planned in a way that’s possible? My husband and I switch off now and again so we can see friends, but it doesn’t always line up and definitely needs pretty advanced notice due to work/work travel. It’s not always so simple even with a spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she the first in your group to have a child?

Is she divorced? Why can’t dad watch the kid in occassional girls night?

Is it being planned in a way that’s possible? My husband and I switch off now and again so we can see friends, but it doesn’t always line up and definitely needs pretty advanced notice due to work/work travel. It’s not always so simple even with a spouse.

Then she should simply decline.

[Anonymous]

I am a mom of 2 kids that I love very much. That said, no one better bring their kids to ladies wine night!

OP, Do the wine night at wine bars or fancy restaurants so the child can't come. (Yes I am conflict adverse )

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she the first in your group to have a child?

Is she divorced? Why can’t dad watch the kid in occassional girls night?

Is it being planned in a way that’s possible? My husband and I switch off now and again so we can see friends, but it doesn’t always line up and definitely needs pretty advanced notice due to work/work travel. It’s not always so simple even with a spouse.

Then she should simply decline.

That’s not really answering the question. If you are OP, you need to be much more clear with your friend. See when she has coverage, spell out which hosts are not open to children being present, or as another poster suggested plan it as an out event. If she’s bringing her kid to a bar that’s on her. If you’re expecting her to get an unsent groupthink memo it’s poor planning.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t bring my kids to wine night but also, your tone makes it sound like you don’t care about her kid at all or the fact that being a mom doesn’t mean the same thing for everyone.

You aren’t really close friends and should probably cut it off.

I still remember when a friend of mine wanted to wait to have lunch with me until I could find a midday sitter bc I couldn’t drink if I brought my kid. This would have been the first time out of many gathering I needed to bring my kid bc I didn’t have someone to watch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she the first in your group to have a child?

Is she divorced? Why can’t dad watch the kid in occassional girls night?

Is it being planned in a way that’s possible? My husband and I switch off now and again so we can see friends, but it doesn’t always line up and definitely needs pretty advanced notice due to work/work travel. It’s not always so simple even with a spouse.

Either way, where’s dad?

Op, you’re fine, maybe throw in some kid friendly a.m. brunches.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she the first in your group to have a child?

Is she divorced? Why can’t dad watch the kid in occassional girls night?

Is it being planned in a way that’s possible? My husband and I switch off now and again so we can see friends, but it doesn’t always line up and definitely needs pretty advanced notice due to work/work travel. It’s not always so simple even with a spouse.

Then she should simply decline.

That’s not really answering the question. If you are OP, you need to be much more clear with your friend. See when she has coverage, spell out which hosts are not open to children being present, or as another poster suggested plan it as an out event. If she’s bringing her kid to a bar that’s on her. If you’re expecting her to get an unsent groupthink memo it’s poor planning.

Why should she need a “groupthink memo” to not bring her kid to an ADULT GATHERING?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she the first in your group to have a child?

Is she divorced? Why can’t dad watch the kid in occassional girls night?

Is it being planned in a way that’s possible? My husband and I switch off now and again so we can see friends, but it doesn’t always line up and definitely needs pretty advanced notice due to work/work travel. It’s not always so simple even with a spouse.

Either way, where’s dad?

Op, you’re fine, maybe throw in some kid friendly a.m. brunches.

Certainly, Blane dad for OP being petulant and uncommunicative. Call the mom a martyr, because her friends aren’t honest about their expectations.

I’m sure this mom would be thrilled to leave her kid at home. Maybe she’s coming with kid in tow occasionally because she’s declined more than attended and OP is exaggerating because she has zero point of reference?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she the first in your group to have a child?

Is she divorced? Why can’t dad watch the kid in occassional girls night?

Is it being planned in a way that’s possible? My husband and I switch off now and again so we can see friends, but it doesn’t always line up and definitely needs pretty advanced notice due to work/work travel. It’s not always so simple even with a spouse.

Then she should simply decline.

That’s not really answering the question. If you are OP, you need to be much more clear with your friend. See when she has coverage, spell out which hosts are not open to children being present, or as another poster suggested plan it as an out event. If she’s bringing her kid to a bar that’s on her. If you’re expecting her to get an unsent groupthink memo it’s poor planning.

Why should she need a “groupthink memo” to not bring her kid to an ADULT GATHERING?

Are you drunk now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she the first in your group to have a child?

Is she divorced? Why can’t dad watch the kid in occassional girls night?

Is it being planned in a way that’s possible? My husband and I switch off now and again so we can see friends, but it doesn’t always line up and definitely needs pretty advanced notice due to work/work travel. It’s not always so simple even with a spouse.

Then she should simply decline.

That’s not really answering the question. If you are OP, you need to be much more clear with your friend. See when she has coverage, spell out which hosts are not open to children being present, or as another poster suggested plan it as an out event. If she’s bringing her kid to a bar that’s on her. If you’re expecting her to get an unsent groupthink memo it’s poor planning.

Why should she need a “groupthink memo” to not bring her kid to an ADULT GATHERING?

Are you drunk now?

Not at all. I rarely drink at all. But an adult gathering is for adults; alcohol consumption is irrelevant.