Stepdaughter wants to move in full time

[Anonymous]

DH has joint custody with his ex wife where one week he has her for three days, the next week four days. This arrangement works for us. My stepdaughter asked if she can move in with us full time. Her mom remarried last year and she and her new husband recently bought a house. SD says when she's home they make her stay in her room. She's only allowed to come out to eat, use the bathroom, shower, or go to school. Even if she invites her friends over, she has to stay in her room. She said her mom ignores her for the most part and only cares about the husband. I feel bad for her, but I can't help but think some of this is my SD being a little dramatic since her mom's attention isn't 100% on her anymore. Plus to be honest, I love the arrangement that's in place now and I don't want to change it. DH is all for her moving in so I'm torn.

[Anonymous]

That poor girl.

Give her a home with her family.

[Anonymous]

Who owns the house? You, DH, or both?

[Anonymous]

Your stepdaughter is being abused and you don’t want to protect her from that abuse? Wow.

[Anonymous]

Why don’t you want her there full time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your stepdaughter is being abused and you don’t want to protect her from that abuse? Wow.

Not only that, stepdads are high on the list of potential abusers of daughters. If she is not comfortable living with him, give her a safe place to go.

[Anonymous]

How old is she? I can't imagine turning down that request.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your stepdaughter is being abused and you don’t want to protect her from that abuse? Wow.

Not only that, stepdads are high on the list of potential abusers of daughters. If she is not comfortable living with him, give her a safe place to go.

+1

OP, this is a package deal, and on some level you knew that when you married a man with a child.

Why are you even questioning this?

[Anonymous]

I'm in my 40's. I have never forgotten being rejected by my Dad & Step Mom, when I expressed the need to escape from the unhealthy living environment with my mom. One of the alternative options I explored at the time was suicide.

[Anonymous]

Troll? If not, this girl has endured her parents splitting up and both remarrying people that don’t want her around. If you marry someone, their kids are part of the package.

[Anonymous]

You married a man with a daughter. She is asking for help. How is this even a choice for you? Her dad wants her to move in- suck it up. Or better yet, be a kind person and be an ear for her- and for gods sake don’t accuse her of being dramatic. Having a new stepfather is a drastic change in her world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who owns the house? You, DH, or both?

Both.

[Anonymous]

OP you come across as selfish and mean. Hope that’s not actually the case but sadly it probably is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your stepdaughter is being abused and you don’t want to protect her from that abuse? Wow.

Not only that, stepdads are high on the list of potential abusers of daughters. If she is not comfortable living with him, give her a safe place to go.

It’s not the stepdad she’s complaining about, it’s her mom.

[Anonymous]

Hear her out. What you ascribe as being dramatic maybbe the truth. How many stories do we have or hear where teems and children didn’t feel heard? It stays with them forever.