Best schools for a non-partier girl

[Anonymous]

My daughter is well rounded and smart. But, she has no interest in drinking or smoking marijuana. Her grades are great with lots of extra curriculars. What good schools do you think she would find others like herself?

[Anonymous]

Large schools

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is well rounded and smart. But, she has no interest in drinking or smoking marijuana. Her grades are great with lots of extra curriculars. What good schools do you think she would find others like herself?

OP, I can't help you with schools, but I have a 12 year old who is smart and well rounded. How do I get her to be your daughter at 18??? My dream is to raise a kid who doesn't drink or smoke or vape in HS. It would also be a bonus if she decided not to have sex until college or later. Is this too ambitious???? Advice accepted!

[Anonymous]

OP: Not sure why. Maybe she hasn't had the time with all the AP classes and extracurriculars? But, since its not part of her or her friends' lives, she's really not interested. I did think that she would like a smaller school better. I know the women's colleges would be good but she's not interested in single sex schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Large schools

Best answer. At a big school, there are enough social niches tha you can hang with the crowd you like and mostly ignore the rest.

[Anonymous]

She would find like minded students at any highly selective school but you’d have to be more specific about what type of school she’s interested in to get any helpful advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is well rounded and smart. But, she has no interest in drinking or smoking marijuana. Her grades are great with lots of extra curriculars. What good schools do you think she would find others like herself?

OP, I can't help you with schools, but I have a 12 year old who is smart and well rounded. How do I get her to be your daughter at 18??? My dream is to raise a kid who doesn't drink or smoke or vape in HS. It would also be a bonus if she decided not to have sex until college or later. Is this too ambitious???? Advice accepted!

Just keep the TV on the Cavanaugh hearing. Those will scare a whole generation of kids away from fun.


ITo answer the original question, I would think any academically intense school would have a core group of students who were not partiers. Further, high school matters more than college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is well rounded and smart. But, she has no interest in drinking or smoking marijuana. Her grades are great with lots of extra curriculars. What good schools do you think she would find others like herself?

OP, I can't help you with schools, but I have a 12 year old who is smart and well rounded. How do I get her to be your daughter at 18??? My dream is to raise a kid who doesn't drink or smoke or vape in HS. It would also be a bonus if she decided not to have sex until college or later. Is this too ambitious???? Advice accepted!

Not OP. For a lot of kids, it’s personality (which you can’t do much about) or friend group. Church youth group can help for some (this was me). Some sports also seem to attract kids who engage in more risky behavior. (There’s a study that correlated drinking and various drug use with specific college sport participation somewhere.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is well rounded and smart. But, she has no interest in drinking or smoking marijuana. Her grades are great with lots of extra curriculars. What good schools do you think she would find others like herself?

This goes on at all schools.
Part of being an adult is not getting sucked in by peers pressure and being able to make friends with like minded people.

[Anonymous]

Honors college residential community at large state school?

[Anonymous]

Colleges with minimal or no Greek scene. And yes to a residential community or special-interest dorm with a more "serious" focus.

[Anonymous]

No or minimal greek life

[Anonymous]

St. Olaf's.

Actually, UNIGO has survey data, which asks kids how much pressure there is to drink at their school (and how common it is).

I found this helpful...because the guides who give tours memorize a parent-friendly answer to this question.

[Anonymous]

We have friends with a daughter similar to OP. She is in the Honors Program at Pitt and is loving it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: Not sure why. Maybe she hasn't had the time with all the AP classes and extracurriculars? But, since its not part of her or her friends' lives, she's really not interested. I did think that she would like a smaller school better. I know the women's colleges would be good but she's not interested in single sex schools.

New poster. I have a senior DD much like yours, OP, and have been wondering the same things.

I see posters here saying large schools are better but that sounds like such a generic statement to me. I get the idea that at small schools maybe there's more of an insular environment so maybe students get into drinking and drugs out of... Boredom? To fit in? But that makes the assumption that small schools lack outlets for students to "find their people" like they can at large schools. I can't really buy that, based on what we've seen touring quite a few small LACs and what we've heard from families we know with kids at small- to mid-sized colleges. I think there may be some stereotypes of small schools in play here. I'll follow the thread for sure.

As for PP asking about raising a high schooler who doesn't party, drink etc., like OP, for us part of the equation is a kid who is just too busy to have a lot of random hangout time or to go off to hang with kids we've never met. DD has a very time-consuming extracurricular she loves and that means when she's not doing that, she's doing schoolwork. Kids who take the rigorous classes plus have something that's a strong interest tend not to have much time for messing around. Yes, kids do need down time but they can be solidly busy without being over scheduled.