Best schools for a non-partier girl

[Anonymous]

Just saying, I never drank, smoked, or partied in high school with the exception of my small class’s senior skip day party at which I stayed completely sober. I was too busy and had no interest.

By November of freshman year I was going out three nights a week.

But if your daughter truly won’t want to party, a school in a big metro area where there are lots of things to do are key. If she’s not weird she’ll find her people wherever though.

[Anonymous]

My non-partying DD has found her people at William & Mary. My other DC at a top (smaller) SLAC has had a harder time finding non-partiers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious what people specifically think there is to do in a large city for 18-22-year-olds that doesn't involve drinking and that wouldn't be available to their peers at a campus in a smaller town.

My kid goes to college in the Twin Cities of Minnesota. She's been in school about a month - so far has gone to a Twins game, a few concerts, a museum, a sculpture garden, tried a bunch of different restaurants, saw a musical, and went to a zoo. There's seriously so much to do, and I imagine there would be even more options in a city like Chicago or NYC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My smart, social, non-partier girl is really happy at her small Catholic college. Small schools tend to plan lots of on-campus activities for their students and, because there isn’t much else to do, the kids participate because it’s not dorky in groups. My DD is involved in tons of activities and her friend group revolves around kids she met in the Honors Program (tends to be the more focused students) and those who do the service projects and campus ministry things. Gravitating toward a calmer group of kids has been key. She’s out and about all the time, but not doing things that are troubling. It is possible to have good, clean fun!

Couldn’t be happier!

I have a high school senior daughter who sounds very similar. She is currently at a Catholic school and is interested in a small Catholic college. If you would be willing to share what school it is, I would really appreciate it. She is currently considering Catholic, Loyola of Chicago, Manhattan, and Providence, in addition to some larger state schools. Thanks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Large schools

Best answer. At a big school, there are enough social niches tha you can hang with the crowd you like and mostly ignore the rest.

+1. The non-drinking, serious students I knew had a good time at huge state schools...there are usually a lot of things like movie screenings, outdoor outings, etc. too that you can join on weekends that don't involve drinking or revolve around drinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious what people specifically think there is to do in a large city for 18-22-year-olds that doesn't involve drinking and that wouldn't be available to their peers at a campus in a smaller town.

My kid goes to college in the Twin Cities of Minnesota. She's been in school about a month - so far has gone to a Twins game, a few concerts, a museum, a sculpture garden, tried a bunch of different restaurants, saw a musical, and went to a zoo. There's seriously so much to do, and I imagine there would be even more options in a city like Chicago or NYC.

Similar to my DD’s experience in Chicago and mine in Boston. In each case, a robust public transit system put lots of things in reach. My kid’s more likely to go on a donut crawl than a pub crawl, LOL! Another thing about cities vs college towns. Bars in the former are much less likely to depend on the business of students, so have less of an incentive to look the other way wrt underage drinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious what people specifically think there is to do in a large city for 18-22-year-olds that doesn't involve drinking and that wouldn't be available to their peers at a campus in a smaller town.

My kid goes to college in the Twin Cities of Minnesota. She's been in school about a month - so far has gone to a Twins game, a few concerts, a museum, a sculpture garden, tried a bunch of different restaurants, saw a musical, and went to a zoo. There's seriously so much to do, and I imagine there would be even more options in a city like Chicago or NYC.

My kid is there, too. Admirable of your daughter to be out and about so much. We love the Twin Cities.

[Anonymous]

I was a non-partier and loved my SLAC in a rather isolated place. The campus was a vibrant place with tons to do, including free concerts, theater, dance performances. Some of these were student produced (so students spent a lot of time on practicing and rehearsals), others were professional groups brought in. I felt that I would be more able to meet "my people" at a smaller school, and I was very happy with my choice.

I can imagine there are small, isolated schools without much going on, so that's definitely something to watch out for. However, I disagree that a larger city is necessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a non-partier and loved my SLAC in a rather isolated place. The campus was a vibrant place with tons to do, including free concerts, theater, dance performances. Some of these were student produced (so students spent a lot of time on practicing and rehearsals), others were professional groups brought in. I felt that I would be more able to meet "my people" at a smaller school, and I was very happy with my choice.

I can imagine there are small, isolated schools without much going on, so that's definitely something to watch out for. However, I disagree that a larger city is necessary.

Are you willing to tell us which SLAC? Might want to check it out. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

OP, be careful what you wish for. If your DC has never really been exposed to a partying peer group then it might be better for her to work her way through that experience in college rather than during her first job.

[Anonymous]

My DC sounds like yours and loves Berry. The school has a strong emphasis on service that appeals to my DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems like advice is all over the board, which leads me to believe it's the student and not the college in most instances. My daughter was very much like yours in high school and never even went to a party at all. She's at Oberlin and loves it there. Lots of peers who want to play Dungeons and Dragons, listen to really good music and have fun dinner parties in their dorm on weekends. I'm sure there are many schools where she could have found a similar peer group (and no Greek life) but she found lots of similar people at Oberlin for sure.

Im a PP with a daughter like OP's and am glad to hear this about your DD's experience at Oberlin, as it's a college my daughter is considering.

Definitely have her go and visit - I think she'll really love it. A big selling point is the music scene, if she's into that. With the conservatory as part of the college there is a constant stream of musical events from classical concerts to jazz nights to musicals. Music isn't the only focus but it's a nice bonus to have so many options for high level entertainment right on campus (and by your peers too!).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My smart, social, non-partier girl is really happy at her small Catholic college. Small schools tend to plan lots of on-campus activities for their students and, because there isn’t much else to do, the kids participate because it’s not dorky in groups. My DD is involved in tons of activities and her friend group revolves around kids she met in the Honors Program (tends to be the more focused students) and those who do the service projects and campus ministry things. Gravitating toward a calmer group of kids has been key. She’s out and about all the time, but not doing things that are troubling. It is possible to have good, clean fun!

Couldn’t be happier!

I have a high school senior daughter who sounds very similar. She is currently at a Catholic school and is interested in a small Catholic college. If you would be willing to share what school it is, I would really appreciate it. She is currently considering Catholic, Loyola of Chicago, Manhattan, and Providence, in addition to some larger state schools. Thanks

I am a PC alum. Loved my time there, but I think there are far better options for a non-partying student. The joke is...it's a drinking school with a Catholic problem - it's pervasive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My smart, social, non-partier girl is really happy at her small Catholic college. Small schools tend to plan lots of on-campus activities for their students and, because there isn’t much else to do, the kids participate because it’s not dorky in groups. My DD is involved in tons of activities and her friend group revolves around kids she met in the Honors Program (tends to be the more focused students) and those who do the service projects and campus ministry things. Gravitating toward a calmer group of kids has been key. She’s out and about all the time, but not doing things that are troubling. It is possible to have good, clean fun!

Couldn’t be happier!

I have a high school senior daughter who sounds very similar. She is currently at a Catholic school and is interested in a small Catholic college. If you would be willing to share what school it is, I would really appreciate it. She is currently considering Catholic, Loyola of Chicago, Manhattan, and Providence, in addition to some larger state schools. Thanks

I am a PC alum. Loved my time there, but I think there are far better options for a non-partying student. The joke is...it's a drinking school with a Catholic problem - it's pervasive.

PC alum again. I am a native of Chicago and so I'm very familiar with Loyola - it would be a very solid choice for a social but non-partying kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is well rounded and smart. But, she has no interest in drinking or smoking marijuana. Her grades are great with lots of extra curriculars. What good schools do you think she would find others like herself?

I'm out here by Pepperdine, which is a dry campus (not sure what is going on now that marijuana is legal here). There is tons to do out here; surf, body surf, boogie board, fish, sail, kayak, incredible hiking right there! Movies, plays, lots to do. There is a subsegment that is highly into health (my DDs are part of that) so while there are drugs/alcohol out here of course! it's part of the entertainment subculture, there is also a culture of respecting someone who says "no" to all of that.