Best schools for a non-partier girl

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious what people specifically think there is to do in a large city for 18-22-year-olds that doesn't involve drinking and that wouldn't be available to their peers at a campus in a smaller town.

My kid goes to college in the Twin Cities of Minnesota. She's been in school about a month - so far has gone to a Twins game, a few concerts, a museum, a sculpture garden, tried a bunch of different restaurants, saw a musical, and went to a zoo. There's seriously so much to do, and I imagine there would be even more options in a city like Chicago or NYC.

But wait until there is 2ft of snow on the ground. Then it is hard to not party

I’m from Minnesota. The world doesn’t shut down there like it does here.

Agree, but will the kids still go hang downtown is the question.

Mom of a Macalester student; my child does all the same things in the winter as she does fall/spring (besides the obvious like no MLB games).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious what people specifically think there is to do in a large city for 18-22-year-olds that doesn't involve drinking and that wouldn't be available to their peers at a campus in a smaller town.

My kid goes to college in the Twin Cities of Minnesota. She's been in school about a month - so far has gone to a Twins game, a few concerts, a museum, a sculpture garden, tried a bunch of different restaurants, saw a musical, and went to a zoo. There's seriously so much to do, and I imagine there would be even more options in a city like Chicago or NYC.

Sounds expensive...

[Anonymous]

Few of my daughter's bffs went to college in NYC. Prude kids that were straight shooters in high school. She said they're all boozing, doing drugs and being promiscuous. One of them had to call hometown boys she hooked up over holiday breaks because she got an STD in NYC.

Nobody goes to college in a big city for the "culture" or "access to internships." It's to live a fast life and club and post bottle service pics on snapchat and ig.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Few of my daughter's bffs went to college in NYC. Prude kids that were straight shooters in high school. She said they're all boozing, doing drugs and being promiscuous. One of them had to call hometown boys she hooked up over holiday breaks because she got an STD in NYC.

Nobody goes to college in a big city for the "culture" or "access to internships." It's to live a fast life and club and post bottle service pics on snapchat and ig.

You may be an imbecile. Get yourself tested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
My daughter is well rounded and smart. But, she has no interest in drinking or smoking marijuana. Her grades are great with lots of extra curriculars. What good schools do you think she would find others like herself?


OP, I can't help you with schools, but I have a 12 year old who is smart and well rounded. How do I get her to be your daughter at 18??? My dream is to raise a kid who doesn't drink or smoke or vape in HS. It would also be a bonus if she decided not to have sex until college or later. Is this too ambitious???? Advice accepted!

Please start your own thread instead of hijacking this one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
My smart, social, non-partier girl is really happy at her small Catholic college. Small schools tend to plan lots of on-campus activities for their students and, because there isn’t much else to do, the kids participate because it’s not dorky in groups. My DD is involved in tons of activities and her friend group revolves around kids she met in the Honors Program (tends to be the more focused students) and those who do the service projects and campus ministry things. Gravitating toward a calmer group of kids has been key. She’s out and about all the time, but not doing things that are troubling. It is possible to have good, clean fun!

Couldn’t be happier!


I have a high school senior daughter who sounds very similar. She is currently at a Catholic school and is interested in a small Catholic college. If you would be willing to share what school it is, I would really appreciate it. She is currently considering Catholic, Loyola of Chicago, Manhattan, and Providence, in addition to some larger state schools. Thanks

Another vote for Loyola Chicago--a very good choice for a kid like this. Lots to do in Chicago that doesn't involve partying, nice group of students.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My smart, social, non-partier girl is really happy at her small Catholic college. Small schools tend to plan lots of on-campus activities for their students and, because there isn’t much else to do, the kids participate because it’s not dorky in groups. My DD is involved in tons of activities and her friend group revolves around kids she met in the Honors Program (tends to be the more focused students) and those who do the service projects and campus ministry things. Gravitating toward a calmer group of kids has been key. She’s out and about all the time, but not doing things that are troubling. It is possible to have good, clean fun!

Couldn’t be happier!

I have a high school senior daughter who sounds very similar. She is currently at a Catholic school and is interested in a small Catholic college. If you would be willing to share what school it is, I would really appreciate it. She is currently considering Catholic, Loyola of Chicago, Manhattan, and Providence, in addition to some larger state schools. Thanks

I've heard great things about Benedictine College in Kansas. I also recommend Hillsdale College, which is not Catholic, but has a large Catholic contingent among students and faculty. The overall ethos at the school is very wholesome.

These are both politically VERY VERY conservative schools. Not partying does not necessarily = being socially conservative. My daughter isn’t into partying, but she is liberal and would not feel comfortable at these schools.

[Anonymous]

I was like your daughter, went to Dartmouth in early 2000s, and found many others like me, despite the school being famous for its drinking scene. They are still dear friends. Great academics and opportunities (junior fall abroad, outdoor club, radio station, theater, literary magazine) filled my time. I wouldn't have guessed Dartmouth would be a great place for me, based on who I was and what its reputation was/is, but it was.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Large schools

Best answer. At a big school, there are enough social niches tha you can hang with the crowd you like and mostly ignore the rest.

Small school.

J/K, I don’t think there is a right answer here. I wasn’t a big partier and went to a very cozy SLAC, and then to OSU. I’d say culturally OSU places more of an emphasis on partying, but it’s such a huge institution that of course there are things for non parties to do. You find your people. And at the SLAC, similar. There are clubs (including, at most small schools, clubs of the ‘knitting’ and ‘book’ variety, and they are very low key. I was friends with plenty of non drinkers and they weren’t socially ostracized at all.

I’d avoid any school known for its party reputation, but even at those she’ll find her people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This was me and I was in the Honors Program at American and loved it. Started drinking in college though. I don't think it's that unusual for a kid to not do that stuff in high school but dabble in college...

I was a non-partier who was also in the Honors program at American. I never felt any pressure to drink. Once or twice, at parties, I tried a drink that sounded interesting. If I chose not to drink, it was fine.

Once I went out with friends. They got drinks, I got ice tea. A couple of people made good natured jokes about my selection, but most were generally supportive of my selection. Walking back to the metro, a couple of people threw up.

In general, I just don't like alcohol. I had already tried it growing up and it had no appeal. The taste is unpleasant and it gives me a headache. I certainly have no interest in drinking excessively. While I can think of countless fun and interesting things to do, making myself sick is not on the list.

Basically, at college, I never felt pressured to drink or stigmatized when I didn't. Because it wasn't my thing, I generally chose other activities to devote my time to. There was never enough time to do everything I wanted anyway.

[Anonymous]

University of Chicago, I was a faculty member there for 9 years. I also have friends children who when there and some still there. Normally kids who are consider smart and serious.

[Anonymous]

My daughter is a junior at Pitt, and she loves the environment there. No pressure on her to drink or party. Lots of smart but fun students.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No or minimal greek life

second that. don't bother with the greek life or the cocky athletes. maybe go for an 50% int'l school like NYU or BU.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No or minimal greek life

second that. don't bother with the greek life or the cocky athletes. maybe go for an 50% int'l school like NYU or BU.

ha, is this a joke? The intl kids at both the schools are the biggest parties of them all.

[Anonymous]

I was also like your daughter, and found my tribe at Georgetown in the early 1990s, although I did drink somewhat in college once I got there -- freshman year went a little overboard for a bit after I broke up with my long-distance boyfriend, but pulled it back together thanks to a good group of girls, some who liked to drink, and some who didn't at all. It wasn't a defining factor in our friendship. We are all still tight after 25 years.