S/O - Questions for female cheaters

[Anonymous]

Why did you/are you cheating in your marriage? Did it happen early in the marriage or later and did you know you’d likely cheat?

[Anonymous]

I never anticipated cheating, but I knew that if somebody was going to cheat or would be me. I was the party who loved/cared less. Later in the marriage. Longish (2 decades) marriage.

[Anonymous]

I never thought I would cheat, but in the past 7 years, my DH has had sex with me one time. I've asked for us to go to therapy, I've asked if there is something I could change. He always says, next week, or this coming weekend, or has some excuse. It never happens. I finally started having an affair with a man about 6 months ago. It's very infrequent that we get together, but it is something. I don't want to cheat, and I'd much rather be with my husband. I don't want to divorce because of my kids, and to be honest, I'm afraid of being alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never thought I would cheat, but in the past 7 years, my DH has had sex with me one time. I've asked for us to go to therapy, I've asked if there is something I could change. He always says, next week, or this coming weekend, or has some excuse. It never happens. I finally started having an affair with a man about 6 months ago. It's very infrequent that we get together, but it is something. I don't want to cheat, and I'd much rather be with my husband. I don't want to divorce because of my kids, and to be honest, I'm afraid of being alone.

What does your gut tell you is the reason he doesn't have sex with you?

[Anonymous]

BI-polar disorder

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never thought I would cheat, but in the past 7 years, my DH has had sex with me one time. I've asked for us to go to therapy, I've asked if there is something I could change. He always says, next week, or this coming weekend, or has some excuse. It never happens. I finally started having an affair with a man about 6 months ago. It's very infrequent that we get together, but it is something. I don't want to cheat, and I'd much rather be with my husband. I don't want to divorce because of my kids, and to be honest, I'm afraid of being alone.

Crazy ...

Can I ask - how did you meet your AP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never thought I would cheat, but in the past 7 years, my DH has had sex with me one time. I've asked for us to go to therapy, I've asked if there is something I could change. He always says, next week, or this coming weekend, or has some excuse. It never happens. I finally started having an affair with a man about 6 months ago. It's very infrequent that we get together, but it is something. I don't want to cheat, and I'd much rather be with my husband. I don't want to divorce because of my kids, and to be honest, I'm afraid of being alone.

What does your gut tell you is the reason he doesn't have sex with you?

My gut tells me that he gained a lot of weight when our kids were young, and he just doesn't feel attractive anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never thought I would cheat, but in the past 7 years, my DH has had sex with me one time. I've asked for us to go to therapy, I've asked if there is something I could change. He always says, next week, or this coming weekend, or has some excuse. It never happens. I finally started having an affair with a man about 6 months ago. It's very infrequent that we get together, but it is something. I don't want to cheat, and I'd much rather be with my husband. I don't want to divorce because of my kids, and to be honest, I'm afraid of being alone.

Crazy ...

Can I ask - how did you meet your AP?

A Dad who I see at my child's sports practice. After a while, we started getting more flirty. Then, after about 6 months of this, and I thought this is all it would be, we started talking about more personal things like our significant others, and he eventually confided in me that his DW wasn't interested in sleeping with him anymore... I admitted having the same issue... and well... we made a plan to meet up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never thought I would cheat, but in the past 7 years, my DH has had sex with me one time. I've asked for us to go to therapy, I've asked if there is something I could change. He always says, next week, or this coming weekend, or has some excuse. It never happens. I finally started having an affair with a man about 6 months ago. It's very infrequent that we get together, but it is something. I don't want to cheat, and I'd much rather be with my husband. I don't want to divorce because of my kids, and to be honest, I'm afraid of being alone.

Crazy ...

Can I ask - how did you meet your AP?

A Dad who I see at my child's sports practice. After a while, we started getting more flirty. Then, after about 6 months of this, and I thought this is all it would be, we started talking about more personal things like our significant others, and he eventually confided in me that his DW wasn't interested in sleeping with him anymore... I admitted having the same issue... and well... we made a plan to meet up.

Lucky you, having it all fall into place like that. And it's someone you know, and can trust. I've flirted (and been flirted with) heavily, but it never goes further than that. It's like the elephant in the room, but neither of us are brave enough to just put it out there.

Do you have feelings for him?

[Anonymous]

I never planned to cheat. My first choice would be a loving marriage with a healthy sex life. My husband has developed serious problems that have gotten worse over the years. He's in therapy and takes medication. It hasn't helped him stay present as a spouse. He's stopped having sex to me for months or years at a time several times in our marriage. I eventually stopped wanting him back in that way.

I was heartbroken for a long time. Being with my AP has made my life so much better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never planned to cheat. My first choice would be a loving marriage with a healthy sex life. My husband has developed serious problems that have gotten worse over the years. He's in therapy and takes medication. It hasn't helped him stay present as a spouse. He's stopped having sex to me for months or years at a time several times in our marriage. I eventually stopped wanting him back in that way.

I was heartbroken for a long time. Being with my AP has made my life so much better.

Is your AP also married?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:BI-polar disorder

Hypersexuality of mania ruined my marriage. It went undiagnosed by several therapists who treated the infidelity like a couples issue and totally missed the type II bipolar disorder diagnosis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never planned to cheat. My first choice would be a loving marriage with a healthy sex life. My husband has developed serious problems that have gotten worse over the years. He's in therapy and takes medication. It hasn't helped him stay present as a spouse. He's stopped having sex to me for months or years at a time several times in our marriage. I eventually stopped wanting him back in that way.

I was heartbroken for a long time. Being with my AP has made my life so much better.

Is your AP also married?

Yes.

[Anonymous]

Am I the only married woman cheating on my DH even while sleeping with him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only married woman cheating on my DH even while sleeping with him?

Nope. I have regular sex with my hubby. It’s bland, boring and really quick. I have as much sex as I can with my lover because it’s the complete opposite. I’ve always been a cheater. I didn’t cheat while I was engaged because I wanted to prove to myself that the marriage was the right thing. I did cheat within a month of being married to prove I still had it plus I couldn’t resist my ex who was pissed I got married. I life complicated? Hell yes.