S/O - Questions for female cheaters

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So are you cheating wives still married? And are you just there in person but gone emotionally? Is it true that once the woman cheats the marriage is over?

Our marriage isn't over, our love life is. My husband is very successful and he is a very good father who does a good share of the household stuff. I think we are more than roommates because we are really connected and devoted to our children. I play the good corporate spouse at his company events and we have a pretty active social life. After about 12 years we just lost physical interest in each other. It's not something we really argued about since it seems to be mutual. Two years ago I met a very nice guy and we get together about once a month. I sometimes wish I had the same physical desire for my husband as I have for him but it just hasn't happened. My husband travels a lot on business and it wouldn't surprise me if he has cheated. We will be empty nesters in four years and we'll see what happens when we cross that bridge.

+1
People change. We live longer. Therefore, it's bound to happen. How many of us are the same person we were at 25, say, at 45? We find new friends, new hobbies, new ambitions. We have children, we decide not to have children, we move, our parents die, our best friends change, etc. Our tastes change, our needs change. And with that, our relationships change. Sure, there are couples that withstand all change and what, are soulmates? But I don't think that's the majority of us. Childbirth claimed plenty of women a century ago. We wouldn't have had the opportunity to change if we died in our 20s. War, industrial accidents, disease, claimed many men. We didn't have the opportunity to start questioning our happiness.

It that all a big excuse to cheat? Of course not. It would be best if we could peacefully come to an agreement with a spouse that we love them, but we are different at this juncture and require different things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So are you cheating wives still married? And are you just there in person but gone emotionally? Is it true that once the woman cheats the marriage is over?

Our marriage isn't over, our love life is. My husband is very successful and he is a very good father who does a good share of the household stuff. I think we are more than roommates because we are really connected and devoted to our children. I play the good corporate spouse at his company events and we have a pretty active social life. After about 12 years we just lost physical interest in each other. It's not something we really argued about since it seems to be mutual. Two years ago I met a very nice guy and we get together about once a month. I sometimes wish I had the same physical desire for my husband as I have for him but it just hasn't happened. My husband travels a lot on business and it wouldn't surprise me if he has cheated. We will be empty nesters in four years and we'll see what happens when we cross that bridge.

This. We have a great life other than our sex life. DH and I still love each other but the physical interest is gone. Not worth ending a marriage over and we are in our 50s/60s. I expect to grow old with him content and happy. At this point, I don't care if DH cheats and gets his physical needs met elsewhere.

Actually, this all sounds pretty healthy.

+1 DH and I are older and DH needs help for sex, Viagra, and I have gone through menopause and have little interest. This is NORMAL:
Nature and biology don't expect an active sex life forever.

After 30+ yrs together, kids, life, etc., still expecting and making sex, the main focal point in a marriage is unrealistic and ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So are you cheating wives still married? And are you just there in person but gone emotionally? Is it true that once the woman cheats the marriage is over?

Our marriage isn't over, our love life is. My husband is very successful and he is a very good father who does a good share of the household stuff. I think we are more than roommates because we are really connected and devoted to our children. I play the good corporate spouse at his company events and we have a pretty active social life. After about 12 years we just lost physical interest in each other. It's not something we really argued about since it seems to be mutual. Two years ago I met a very nice guy and we get together about once a month. I sometimes wish I had the same physical desire for my husband as I have for him but it just hasn't happened. My husband travels a lot on business and it wouldn't surprise me if he has cheated. We will be empty nesters in four years and we'll see what happens when we cross that bridge.

This. We have a great life other than our sex life. DH and I still love each other but the physical interest is gone. Not worth ending a marriage over and we are in our 50s/60s. I expect to grow old with him content and happy. At this point, I don't care if DH cheats and gets his physical needs met elsewhere.

Actually, this all sounds pretty healthy.

+1 DH and I are older and DH needs help for sex, Viagra, and I have gone through menopause and have little interest. This is NORMAL:
Nature and biology don't expect an active sex life forever.

After 30+ yrs together, kids, life, etc., still expecting and making sex, the main focal point in a marriage is unrealistic and ridiculous.

If it's a mutual loss of interest, an open marriage is reasonable and no one should feel hurt. If one side loses interest, then the other side should be entitled to go outside the marriage and no one should feel hurt. If one side loses interest and that person also wants to go outside the marriage, then it's reasonable for the other side to take it personally and feel hurt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So are you cheating wives still married? And are you just there in person but gone emotionally? Is it true that once the woman cheats the marriage is over?

Our marriage isn't over, our love life is. My husband is very successful and he is a very good father who does a good share of the household stuff. I think we are more than roommates because we are really connected and devoted to our children. I play the good corporate spouse at his company events and we have a pretty active social life. After about 12 years we just lost physical interest in each other. It's not something we really argued about since it seems to be mutual. Two years ago I met a very nice guy and we get together about once a month. I sometimes wish I had the same physical desire for my husband as I have for him but it just hasn't happened. My husband travels a lot on business and it wouldn't surprise me if he has cheated. We will be empty nesters in four years and we'll see what happens when we cross that bridge.

This. We have a great life other than our sex life. DH and I still love each other but the physical interest is gone. Not worth ending a marriage over and we are in our 50s/60s. I expect to grow old with him content and happy. At this point, I don't care if DH cheats and gets his physical needs met elsewhere.

Actually, this all sounds pretty healthy.

+1 DH and I are older and DH needs help for sex, Viagra, and I have gone through menopause and have little interest. This is NORMAL:
Nature and biology don't expect an active sex life forever.

After 30+ yrs together, kids, life, etc., still expecting and making sex, the main focal point in a marriage is unrealistic and ridiculous.

It's ridiculous to make food and money the main focal point of the marriage, which is what a lot of those in sexless marriages use to replace sex and intimacy.

[Anonymous]

To all the ladies here, I just want to add that finding an AP isn't an affirmation of your physical attractiveness. Rather, men will bang any woman who's willing so please don't think it's something when it isn't. You have everything to lose and nothing to gain from cheating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To all the ladies here, I just want to add that finding an AP isn't an affirmation of your physical attractiveness. Rather, men will bang any woman who's willing so please don't think it's something when it isn't. You have everything to lose and nothing to gain from cheating.

Except the getting to have hot sex part. Most would find that a plus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So are you cheating wives still married? And are you just there in person but gone emotionally? Is it true that once the woman cheats the marriage is over?

Our marriage isn't over, our love life is. My husband is very successful and he is a very good father who does a good share of the household stuff. I think we are more than roommates because we are really connected and devoted to our children. I play the good corporate spouse at his company events and we have a pretty active social life. After about 12 years we just lost physical interest in each other. It's not something we really argued about since it seems to be mutual. Two years ago I met a very nice guy and we get together about once a month. I sometimes wish I had the same physical desire for my husband as I have for him but it just hasn't happened. My husband travels a lot on business and it wouldn't surprise me if he has cheated. We will be empty nesters in four years and we'll see what happens when we cross that bridge.

This. We have a great life other than our sex life. DH and I still love each other but the physical interest is gone. Not worth ending a marriage over and we are in our 50s/60s. I expect to grow old with him content and happy. At this point, I don't care if DH cheats and gets his physical needs met elsewhere.

I agree with you. I'm 62 and my husband is 66 but my interest in sex is zippo and his interest is very high. We spoke about it a lot for almost two years and I know he was very frustrated and then the conversation suddenly stopped. I don't know for sure but I think he found an outlet and it's not porn. I think I know who it is and while I'm not fine with it his frustration is gone and we have a very good life together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To all the ladies here, I just want to add that finding an AP isn't an affirmation of your physical attractiveness. Rather, men will bang any woman who's willing so please don't think it's something when it isn't. You have everything to lose and nothing to gain from cheating.

Rather, men will bang any woman who's willing ...

Actually, not true, but thanks for perpetuating a wretched gender stereotype.

You have everything to lose and nothing to gain from cheating.

Not always.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So are you cheating wives still married? And are you just there in person but gone emotionally? Is it true that once the woman cheats the marriage is over?

Our marriage isn't over, our love life is. My husband is very successful and he is a very good father who does a good share of the household stuff. I think we are more than roommates because we are really connected and devoted to our children. I play the good corporate spouse at his company events and we have a pretty active social life. After about 12 years we just lost physical interest in each other. It's not something we really argued about since it seems to be mutual. Two years ago I met a very nice guy and we get together about once a month. I sometimes wish I had the same physical desire for my husband as I have for him but it just hasn't happened. My husband travels a lot on business and it wouldn't surprise me if he has cheated. We will be empty nesters in four years and we'll see what happens when we cross that bridge.

This. We have a great life other than our sex life. DH and I still love each other but the physical interest is gone. Not worth ending a marriage over and we are in our 50s/60s. I expect to grow old with him content and happy. At this point, I don't care if DH cheats and gets his physical needs met elsewhere.

I agree with you. I'm 62 and my husband is 66 but my interest in sex is zippo and his interest is very high. We spoke about it a lot for almost two years and I know he was very frustrated and then the conversation suddenly stopped. I don't know for sure but I think he found an outlet and it's not porn. I think I know who it is and while I'm not fine with it his frustration is gone and we have a very good life together.

You don’t get to vote on his sex life, having opted out of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So are you cheating wives still married? And are you just there in person but gone emotionally? Is it true that once the woman cheats the marriage is over?

Our marriage isn't over, our love life is. My husband is very successful and he is a very good father who does a good share of the household stuff. I think we are more than roommates because we are really connected and devoted to our children. I play the good corporate spouse at his company events and we have a pretty active social life. After about 12 years we just lost physical interest in each other. It's not something we really argued about since it seems to be mutual. Two years ago I met a very nice guy and we get together about once a month. I sometimes wish I had the same physical desire for my husband as I have for him but it just hasn't happened. My husband travels a lot on business and it wouldn't surprise me if he has cheated. We will be empty nesters in four years and we'll see what happens when we cross that bridge.

This. We have a great life other than our sex life. DH and I still love each other but the physical interest is gone. Not worth ending a marriage over and we are in our 50s/60s. I expect to grow old with him content and happy. At this point, I don't care if DH cheats and gets his physical needs met elsewhere.

I agree with you. I'm 62 and my husband is 66 but my interest in sex is zippo and his interest is very high. We spoke about it a lot for almost two years and I know he was very frustrated and then the conversation suddenly stopped. I don't know for sure but I think he found an outlet and it's not porn. I think I know who it is and while I'm not fine with it his frustration is gone and we have a very good life together.

You don’t get to vote on his sex life, having opted out of it.

PP here - I'm not fine with it but I accept it because I opted out. As long as he doesn't flaunt it I can live with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So are you cheating wives still married? And are you just there in person but gone emotionally? Is it true that once the woman cheats the marriage is over?

Our marriage isn't over, our love life is. My husband is very successful and he is a very good father who does a good share of the household stuff. I think we are more than roommates because we are really connected and devoted to our children. I play the good corporate spouse at his company events and we have a pretty active social life. After about 12 years we just lost physical interest in each other. It's not something we really argued about since it seems to be mutual. Two years ago I met a very nice guy and we get together about once a month. I sometimes wish I had the same physical desire for my husband as I have for him but it just hasn't happened. My husband travels a lot on business and it wouldn't surprise me if he has cheated. We will be empty nesters in four years and we'll see what happens when we cross that bridge.

This. We have a great life other than our sex life. DH and I still love each other but the physical interest is gone. Not worth ending a marriage over and we are in our 50s/60s. I expect to grow old with him content and happy. At this point, I don't care if DH cheats and gets his physical needs met elsewhere.

I agree with you. I'm 62 and my husband is 66 but my interest in sex is zippo and his interest is very high. We spoke about it a lot for almost two years and I know he was very frustrated and then the conversation suddenly stopped. I don't know for sure but I think he found an outlet and it's not porn. I think I know who it is and while I'm not fine with it his frustration is gone and we have a very good life together.

You don’t get to vote on his sex life, having opted out of it.

PP here - I'm not fine with it but I accept it because I opted out. As long as he doesn't flaunt it I can live with it.

So basically DADT