S/O - Questions for female cheaters

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never thought I would cheat, but in the past 7 years, my DH has had sex with me one time. I've asked for us to go to therapy, I've asked if there is something I could change. He always says, next week, or this coming weekend, or has some excuse. It never happens. I finally started having an affair with a man about 6 months ago. It's very infrequent that we get together, but it is something. I don't want to cheat, and I'd much rather be with my husband. I don't want to divorce because of my kids, and to be honest, I'm afraid of being alone.

This completely sounds like me. After a few years of no sex I gave in with a business friend. A few times a year we attend the same conferences and always end up in one of our rooms. I'd love to rekindle our marriage and I keep trying but it's not happening. I have no idea if my husband is cheating and I have no interest in asking him. Other than the no sex things aren't bad at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only married woman cheating on my DH even while sleeping with him?

Nope. I have regular sex with my hubby. It’s bland, boring and really quick. I have as much sex as I can with my lover because it’s the complete opposite. I’ve always been a cheater. I didn’t cheat while I was engaged because I wanted to prove to myself that the marriage was the right thing. I did cheat within a month of being married to prove I still had it plus I couldn’t resist my ex who was pissed I got married. I life complicated? Hell yes.

What makes the lover so much better? Is there something the dh can change?

Unfortunately it can’t change - he is just small and not satisfying. I will use my toy with hubby so I can orgasm but he just can’t hit my hot spots when we are together.

Presumably you knew this when you married him...

Asking real questions here. I don't get this. Marry a small guy and then later complain he's small and cheat on him? SMH

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never thought I would cheat, but in the past 7 years, my DH has had sex with me one time. I've asked for us to go to therapy, I've asked if there is something I could change. He always says, next week, or this coming weekend, or has some excuse. It never happens. I finally started having an affair with a man about 6 months ago. It's very infrequent that we get together, but it is something. I don't want to cheat, and I'd much rather be with my husband. I don't want to divorce because of my kids, and to be honest, I'm afraid of being alone.

This completely sounds like me. After a few years of no sex I gave in with a business friend. A few times a year we attend the same conferences and always end up in one of our rooms. I'd love to rekindle our marriage and I keep trying but it's not happening. I have no idea if my husband is cheating and I have no interest in asking him. Other than the no sex things aren't bad at all.

Just out of curiosity, if you guys never have sex, how are you guys "not bad at all"? If I go a month without making love to my DW, I'm feeling pretty darn frustrated and not being able to connect with her intimately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only married woman cheating on my DH even while sleeping with him?

Nope. I have regular sex with my hubby. It’s bland, boring and really quick. I have as much sex as I can with my lover because it’s the complete opposite. I’ve always been a cheater. I didn’t cheat while I was engaged because I wanted to prove to myself that the marriage was the right thing. I did cheat within a month of being married to prove I still had it plus I couldn’t resist my ex who was pissed I got married. I life complicated? Hell yes.

What makes the lover so much better? Is there something the dh can change?

Unfortunately it can’t change - he is just small and not satisfying. I will use my toy with hubby so I can orgasm but he just can’t hit my hot spots when we are together.

Presumably you knew this when you married him...

Yes I knew his junk was small but he worked it two or three times a day. Plus now he has a condition that has put and unusual curve in the penis so it can’t penetrate deeply at all. He does not want to talk about it and as far as I know has not mentioned it to his doctor so we just have sex that satisfies him. It’s like a sexless marriage but I do have sex (if you want to call it that).

[Anonymous]

DH and I had to go 6+ months without sex/any intamacy because of pregnancy complications and hospitalized bed rest.

Since then it’s been hard to get back in the swing of things and we’ll go months in between sex... but other than that things are ok.


I think PP means that they aren’t fighting much, generally agreeable, nothing significant to report.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only married woman cheating on my DH even while sleeping with him?

Nope. I have regular sex with my hubby. It’s bland, boring and really quick. I have as much sex as I can with my lover because it’s the complete opposite. I’ve always been a cheater. I didn’t cheat while I was engaged because I wanted to prove to myself that the marriage was the right thing. I did cheat within a month of being married to prove I still had it plus I couldn’t resist my ex who was pissed I got married. I life complicated? Hell yes.

What makes the lover so much better? Is there something the dh can change?

He’s part horse.

Which part?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only married woman cheating on my DH even while sleeping with him?

Nope. I have regular sex with my hubby. It’s bland, boring and really quick. I have as much sex as I can with my lover because it’s the complete opposite. I’ve always been a cheater. I didn’t cheat while I was engaged because I wanted to prove to myself that the marriage was the right thing. I did cheat within a month of being married to prove I still had it plus I couldn’t resist my ex who was pissed I got married. I life complicated? Hell yes.

What makes the lover so much better? Is there something the dh can change?

He's not her DH. She gets off on the cheating. It has nothing to do with him except that he has the misfortune of being married to her.

It’s a little bit of both. The cheating is exciting and like the previous poster noted. Lover is part horse and size does matter. He’s happy enough being married I take care of his needs and mine too.

Part horse? Lol. How big is that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only married woman cheating on my DH even while sleeping with him?

Nope. I have regular sex with my hubby. It’s bland, boring and really quick. I have as much sex as I can with my lover because it’s the complete opposite. I’ve always been a cheater. I didn’t cheat while I was engaged because I wanted to prove to myself that the marriage was the right thing. I did cheat within a month of being married to prove I still had it plus I couldn’t resist my ex who was pissed I got married. I life complicated? Hell yes.

So, why don't you end it? He clearly deserves better than you. Granted, that's a low bar.

He may know what a horrible person she is. Many spouses know if they have a cheater, but can't leave for various reasons.

[Anonymous]

So are you cheating wives still married? And are you just there in person but gone emotionally? Is it true that once the woman cheats the marriage is over?

[Anonymous]

For the cheaters - did you seek it out or did you just let advances happen and give green lights?

[Anonymous]

I didn't seek it. I thought I suddenly fell in love and followed the other sides leads

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So are you cheating wives still married? And are you just there in person but gone emotionally? Is it true that once the woman cheats the marriage is over?

Guy - my exDW cheated. Yes, marriage does not recover.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So are you cheating wives still married? And are you just there in person but gone emotionally? Is it true that once the woman cheats the marriage is over?

My exDW cheated. I was ready to reconcile and reset (I went all in) but her heart was elsewhere while we tried reconciling. Marriage ended.

If it was a one time fling, I have no doubt we'd still be together. But when your heart leaves for someone else, that's pretty tough to recover. I'm sure some can do it; I did not want that life.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I'm still married.
Yes we are having sex.
Yes we were having sex when I was also having an affair.
No I didn't seek out an affair. But I became friends with somebody, I guess when I was vulnerable, because DH and I had let our marriage slide. And then I realized I had a huge crush on this person, and when I told him that, he confessed he had feelings as well and had had them for some months. And so it began. I transferred my emotional life to AP and began a sexual relationship.
Marriage is not fully recovered, but it is better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I'm still married.
Yes we are having sex.
Yes we were having sex when I was also having an affair.
No I didn't seek out an affair. But I became friends with somebody, I guess when I was vulnerable, because DH and I had let our marriage slide. And then I realized I had a huge crush on this person, and when I told him that, he confessed he had feelings as well and had had them for some months. And so it began. I transferred my emotional life to AP and began a sexual relationship.
Marriage is not fully recovered, but it is better.

Does your DH know you cheated?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I'm still married.
Yes we are having sex.
Yes we were having sex when I was also having an affair.
No I didn't seek out an affair. But I became friends with somebody, I guess when I was vulnerable, because DH and I had let our marriage slide. And then I realized I had a huge crush on this person, and when I told him that, he confessed he had feelings as well and had had them for some months. And so it began. I transferred my emotional life to AP and began a sexual relationship.
Marriage is not fully recovered, but it is better.

Does your DH know you cheated?

Yes.