Is this request rude or racist?

[Anonymous]

I have no comment on if it racist or discriminatory BUT I HAVE A SOLUTION

I spent almost a decade in various leadership positions in long term care facilities as charge nurse on up to director of nursing and have encountered similar issues my solution is that staff member wear something else on their scrubs to help identify themselves daily to their residents that their residents can use to remember them by. I had one staff member who used a fake blue flower pinned to their scrub top every day. She of course had to cue the residents a lot at first “remember Mrs Smith I’m Larla with the blue flower that’s how you can remember me” but eventually they got it and many of them would look for that blue flower and her changing hair style became background noise that no one noticed

OP - can you suggest something like this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: If the manager makes this request on the grounds that the residents (some with dementia) will be confused, is this unreasonable?

Tell us more about this, OP.

It's an assisted living for older/elderly people, many of whom have dementia. They may recognize someone but with a whole new look they might get agitated or scared by not recognizing the person.

You’re borrowing trouble. Has this actually happened?

Note that OP never answered this.

[Anonymous]

If it doesn’t apply to all staff it is discriminatory rule.

If a black woman wore natural hair curly Monday, braided Tuesday, and straightened Friday- it should be treated no different than Carla wearing wigs Monday-Friday, Wendy having her hair in a ponytail Monday, Tuesday in pig tails and Friday in French braids or Bob being allowed to have facial hair that comes and goes during the week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have no comment on if it racist or discriminatory BUT I HAVE A SOLUTION

I spent almost a decade in various leadership positions in long term care facilities as charge nurse on up to director of nursing and have encountered similar issues my solution is that staff member wear something else on their scrubs to help identify themselves daily to their residents that their residents can use to remember them by. I had one staff member who used a fake blue flower pinned to their scrub top every day. She of course had to cue the residents a lot at first “remember Mrs Smith I’m Larla with the blue flower that’s how you can remember me” but eventually they got it and many of them would look for that blue flower and her changing hair style became background noise that no one noticed

OP - can you suggest something like this?

This is a great solution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It doesn’t seem that unreasonable to me. The manager is asking her to have a consistent look at avoid confusing patients with memory issues.

+1 In some ways the changing of the hairstyle sounds meanspirited since it seems to confuse patients. My worry would be a latent hostility by the employee towards patients in the staff member's care. I think the manager is right to say something. If it continued I would probably terminate the employee. Patient safety, including their mental health, is more important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Racism does not mean whatever you want it to be. And that's today's problem. People are viewing every single thing as racism. You know, black people can be called upon for misbehavior and for not following procedures because they are misbehaving and not following procedures and it's not racist.

The boss wasn't being racist. The boss had a valid point. The boss is the boss. The employee should comply. If she doesn't like it, she can find another job.

The only way we can possibly interpret this as racism would be if white or other non black employees were wearing and changing wigs regularly and not getting any comments. But the OP did not provide any such history, so there is no grounds nor excuse for thinking it's racism. In fact, it's a pretty clear cut case of the boss being respectful and mindful of the residents of his community who need stability and that is the first priority, not an employee's ability to change her wig daily. OP, in fact, is clearly pretty selfish to not even consider the context and that it's a community with residents suffering from dementia. They are the ones who are important, not the employee, and the employee needs to know her place and priorities in that environment.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How can it be racist when we don’t even know the person’s race?

This is a special situation given the job entails caring for elderly people, some of whom have dementia. A consistent appearance is key, and it likely should be part of the job requirements (eg: uniform).

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no comment on if it racist or discriminatory BUT I HAVE A SOLUTION

I spent almost a decade in various leadership positions in long term care facilities as charge nurse on up to director of nursing and have encountered similar issues my solution is that staff member wear something else on their scrubs to help identify themselves daily to their residents that their residents can use to remember them by. I had one staff member who used a fake blue flower pinned to their scrub top every day. She of course had to cue the residents a lot at first “remember Mrs Smith I’m Larla with the blue flower that’s how you can remember me” but eventually they got it and many of them would look for that blue flower and her changing hair style became background noise that no one noticed

OP - can you suggest something like this?

This is a great solution.

It's a great solution IF it's a problem. We still don't know the position of the employee in question. Is she a nurse or therapist who the patient would benefit from having familiarity with? Is she delivering food with minimal other interaction? It makes a difference. This could be made up and only potential problem. If she's a thoughtful and responsible employee, who actually notices that patients are unfamiliar with her each day in a way that they're not unfamiliar with others, then yes, reminding them of a consistent identifiable detail is a great idea.

When I was a therapist in a rehab, I would say every day "I'm Larla, and I'm the one that helps you xyz", even though I wore the same scrubs, shoes, and ponytail every day.

[Anonymous]

It’s ridiculous. Obviously the employee has some kind of agenda here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It doesn’t seem that unreasonable to me. The manager is asking her to have a consistent look at avoid confusing patients with memory issues.

+1 In some ways the changing of the hairstyle sounds meanspirited since it seems to confuse patients. My worry would be a latent hostility by the employee towards patients in the staff member's care. I think the manager is right to say something. If it continued I would probably terminate the employee. Patient safety, including their mental health, is more important.

This is bs. Black people's hair is always an issue for white people. Get over it. I would go after any company that reprimanded an employee for this and it would go viral. Count on that.

[Anonymous]

Why would you work in elder care and not want to do whatever you could to ensure they are comfortable and calm? Just get a job at a hotel or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would you work in elder care and not want to do whatever you could to ensure they are comfortable and calm? Just get a job at a hotel or something.

Exactly. The employee lacks even a basic sense of empathy towards her clients.

[Anonymous]

Not at all. Such a special place to work with special requirements.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would you work in elder care and not want to do whatever you could to ensure they are comfortable and calm? Just get a job at a hotel or something.

Wearing a wig to some people is the same as switching a hairstyle from a ponytail to bun. It’s how they style their hair.

[Anonymous]

My mother currently has 24 hour care. She has mild dementia, not full-blown, but also is legally blind. One of her caseworkers wears her hair differently, depending on the day. My mother started having panic issues saying that an imposter was taking care of her on certain nights. Finally realized woman was changing her hair.