Is this request rude or racist?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother currently has 24 hour care. She has mild dementia, not full-blown, but also is legally blind. One of her caseworkers wears her hair differently, depending on the day. My mother started having panic issues saying that an imposter was taking care of her on certain nights. Finally realized woman was changing her hair.

^^^ Autocorrect. That should read CAREworkers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you work in elder care and not want to do whatever you could to ensure they are comfortable and calm? Just get a job at a hotel or something.

Wearing a wig to some people is the same as switching a hairstyle from a ponytail to bun. It’s how they style their hair.

yeah, I get that but like why work in that business and then complain that there are limits. its like being a waitress who doesn't want to be friendly. Like do something else. I mean these are weak, frail, scared and vulnerable people, some of the most vulnerable people in our country - they deserve a little consideration.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It doesn’t seem that unreasonable to me. The manager is asking her to have a consistent look at avoid confusing patients with memory issues.

+1 In some ways the changing of the hairstyle sounds meanspirited since it seems to confuse patients. My worry would be a latent hostility by the employee towards patients in the staff member's care. I think the manager is right to say something. If it continued I would probably terminate the employee. Patient safety, including their mental health, is more important.

This is bs. Black people's hair is always an issue for white people. Get over it. I would go after any company that reprimanded an employee for this and it would go viral. Count on that.

And what if I told you that 100% of the patients were black? Or that the boss is black? Or that literally every single person involved in this story is black? Would that make a difference?

Wigs are NOT a requirement for black people - they are a choice. If your hair is more important to you than the health and well-being of the people in your care that is your prerogative but you are in the WRONG job!

And LOL to your “going after” = “going viral”. Thank your lucky stars that you have apparently never encountered any real adversity in your life if this gets you riled up. Grow up.

[Anonymous]

How about this:

If you are male or female, and your hair is longer than ear length, you cannot change hair color, or change hair length more than 2 inches, more often than once a month.

[Anonymous]

I bet you no black dementia patient would have been frightened and confused by OP and her hair choices...hence it is racist!
What it is is the reflexive bias that these posh dementia patience lived their whole lives with, it is their white fragility and the fear of Black people showing their ugly faces.
Here is my take on it: These racist elderly people are frightened of OP bcs she is black! not bcs of her wig.
OP knows what I am talking about, don't you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I bet you no black dementia patient would have been frightened and confused by OP and her hair choices...hence it is racist!
What it is is the reflexive bias that these posh dementia patience lived their whole lives with, it is their white fragility and the fear of Black people showing their ugly faces.
Here is my take on it: These racist elderly people are frightened of OP bcs she is black! not bcs of her wig.
OP knows what I am talking about, don't you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How about this:

If you are male or female, and your hair is longer than ear length, you cannot change hair color, or change hair length more than 2 inches, more often than once a month.

Or shave a beard or dye your gray or grow a beard or wear glasses if you normally wear contacts or…..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about this:

If you are male or female, and your hair is longer than ear length, you cannot change hair color, or change hair length more than 2 inches, more often than once a month.

Or shave a beard or dye your gray or grow a beard or wear glasses if you normally wear contacts or…..

RIght because guys are putting on fake beards one day and then taking it off the next. Wigs are a fashion choice not a human right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Call it what you will, it is discrimination. OP was discriminated against based on her looks.
The end.

But was she vaxxed?

[Anonymous]

Obviously, the best scenario would be the manager having a discussion with the employee and listing the concerns and incidents that have occurred with the clients. Then enlist the employee to come up with resolutions, blue flower, etc. A lot will depend on the employee—is she open minded and coach able?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It doesn’t seem that unreasonable to me. The manager is asking her to have a consistent look at avoid confusing patients with memory issues.

+1 In some ways the changing of the hairstyle sounds meanspirited since it seems to confuse patients. My worry would be a latent hostility by the employee towards patients in the staff member's care. I think the manager is right to say something. If it continued I would probably terminate the employee. Patient safety, including their mental health, is more important.

This is bs. Black people's hair is always an issue for white people. Get over it. I would go after any company that reprimanded an employee for this and it would go viral. Count on that.

And what if I told you that 100% of the patients were black? Or that the boss is black? Or that literally every single person involved in this story is black? Would that make a difference?

Wigs are NOT a requirement for black people - they are a choice. If your hair is more important to you than the health and well-being of the people in your care that is your prerogative but you are in the WRONG job!

And LOL to your “going after” = “going viral”. Thank your lucky stars that you have apparently never encountered any real adversity in your life if this gets you riled up. Grow up.

+ 100

[Anonymous]

I think what the manager is trying to say is “wash your d hair!” Those wigs are disgustingly filthy. And they smell.

[Anonymous]

Is it racist or rude to have rule that you need to wear a uniform? What’s the difference?

[Anonymous]

Other employees may not drastically change their hairstyle (including color) every day.

That could DEFINITELY confuse an old person with vision or memory deficits.

Don't go all social justice warrior on this people. It is a very practical, real-world consideration if you work with those populations. No klansman schemed this up so the privileged class could have first dibs on all of those sought after jobs working with the frail elderly.

I know a psychiatric resident (white, with very big, bright red hair). One of her mentors told her to pin it back in an orderly study, because when it looked wild and chaotic, it could agitate the psychotic inpatients she was treating at the time. He was not anti-Irish. He had good clinical instincts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about this:

If you are male or female, and your hair is longer than ear length, you cannot change hair color, or change hair length more than 2 inches, more often than once a month.

Or shave a beard or dye your gray or grow a beard or wear glasses if you normally wear contacts or…..

Sure, don't change beard length more than 1 inch more than once a month.

Glasses vs contacts is absurd.