Staying in the room at the pediatrician

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Youths are sexual beings (as are we). They should talk about sexual health with a medical professional. They aren't going to open up in front of mommy. Some of you who refuse to leave already know this, thus you don't leave. You want your teenagers to be sexless babies forever.

Some of them do "open up in front of mommy." Maybe that's not the relationship you have with your kid, but any time I've asked my kids "Do you want me to leave?" they've said no.

I would never have asked my mom to leave but she was completely overbearing and I couldn’t imagine the fall out later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been asked to leave the room for a portion of the visit since DC turned 13. I assume it's to ask questions about drugs/alcohol/abuse. Is this not the norm?

I leave for her to ask him questions, but I stay for the entire actual exam (even the private part).

Yucky. How would you have felt if your Mom/Dad had done that?

I spent three years changing his diaper and six years giving him baths. I think he can handle me seeing his twig and berries for thirty seconds a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Youths are sexual beings (as are we). They should talk about sexual health with a medical professional. They aren't going to open up in front of mommy. Some of you who refuse to leave already know this, thus you don't leave. You want your teenagers to be sexless babies forever.

Some of them do "open up in front of mommy." Maybe that's not the relationship you have with your kid, but any time I've asked my kids "Do you want me to leave?" they've said no.

I told my mom she didn’t need to leave. If I said yes, that would have been a tacit admission I have something secret to talk to the doctor about. So I had a ton of unsafe sex. If she had just left the room without comment, I would have been a healthier person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Youths are sexual beings (as are we). They should talk about sexual health with a medical professional. They aren't going to open up in front of mommy. Some of you who refuse to leave already know this, thus you don't leave. You want your teenagers to be sexless babies forever.

Youth are sexual beings
Really pedo?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Starting at what age does y'all's pediatrician office ask you to step out during physical exams. Even though we see a female doctor, I still prefer to stay in the room for my son's entire check up.

I leave when they or my child asks me to. They have only done so once and i respected that.

[Anonymous]

Around age 13 for us. On the way to the appointment, I told my DDs at we're rapidly reaching the point where I will have to decide whether to stay or leave momentarily. The doctor might ask me to leave the room. I asked them what they wanted. They wanted me to leave, awkward to have mom sitting there! It's also a chance for them to speak privately with the pediatrician without my prying ears there.

My oldest DD switched over to our (her parents) family doctor at 16. Her choice. She thought she was too old to sit in a waiting room with 4-year-olds. Can't blame her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Youths are sexual beings (as are we). They should talk about sexual health with a medical professional. They aren't going to open up in front of mommy. Some of you who refuse to leave already know this, thus you don't leave. You want your teenagers to be sexless babies forever.

Youth are sexual beings
Really pedo?

Do you even remember being 13?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember a friend of mine with a daughter turning 12 or 13 saying that she was asked about her sexual orientation during the "parent out of the room" portion of the exam. The question to her was, apparently "Do you like boys, or girls, or both?"

Frankly, why is this assumed to be a concern for the pediatrician? Why is it assumed that they are going to beable to do jack squat if that kids orientation is a problem with their parents? What are they going to do, call social services because the patient cant tell mom they are gay?

I get that its a good thing to have trusted adults that arent your parents, but the choice of pediatrician is strange to me. They arent psychologists or social workers. They cant do anything to help their patient with their psychological issues if the kid cant be honest with their parent. Because if there is a problem with the kid and their parents, the pediatirician telling the parent your kid needs counseling would be not a good idea. Right?

What are we thinking here?

Are you really this dumb that you don't realize that advice on sex will differ based on the answer the teen gives? That's a medical issue. SMH.

But it shouldn't differ. Safer sex should be discussed generally, not tailored to the types of bodies people are having sex with. I'm a medical provider. I don't ask questions about sexuality because it simply doesn't change the care I provide (Ie all kids should be told about prep, HIV testing, condom use for oral and other penetrative acts...). I am open and non-judgmental and if a kid has a question, they will generally ask unprompted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was molested by a doctor who asked my mom to leave the room. This was probably like 1974.

I never left my kids until they were much older. The first time I left my younger one was just recently and she's 13.

How is 47+ information helpful?

Do you think male doctors have changed that much in my lifetime? I don't. I learned a horrible lesson and used that to protect my kids NOW.

[Anonymous]

I asked my mother to take me to the gynecologist when I was 14 because I had very heavy periods and had read in Seventeen magazine that the pill could make them much lighter and less painful. She took me to her male gynecologist and he examined me alone - this was in the early 80s before having a nurse in the room became the standard.

He molested me - I knew it all felt very yucky but I didn’t understand how wrongly he had touched me until I had my next pelvic exam a few years later. He very definitely molested me, and he then proceeded to shame me for asking to be put on the pill - he said I was far too young to be having sex and only nasty girls had sex at 14.


Yeah, it’s something that still disturbs me to this day and it most definitely altered my feelings about my body, about sexual, about doctors. I’ve only allowed one other male gynecologist to examine me in the 36 years since, and that was only a follow up breast exam with nurse in the room when my regular female gynecologist was called away to an OB emergency.

Don’t leave the room unless a nurse is present as a matter of office policy. There are far too many stories of pediatricians who were child molesters. I know this because I became a prosecutor who put child molesters in prison and I follow this kind of creepy stuff probably far too closely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Youths are sexual beings (as are we). They should talk about sexual health with a medical professional. They aren't going to open up in front of mommy. Some of you who refuse to leave already know this, thus you don't leave. You want your teenagers to be sexless babies forever.

Youth are sexual beings
Really pedo?

Get over yourself Puritan PP! Yes, most children start thinking about sexuality in their preteens - that is perfectly healthy and developmentally appropriate. The average age of first intercourse has been rising in recent years, but half of American teens have had first intercourse prior to age 18. Beyond intercourse, many more American teens are engaging in oral sex in their earlier teens because they believe it’s a safer option and ‘isn’t really sex’. This is one very good reason to get your kids the HPV vaccine as soon as they’re eligible (age 11/12, I believe?).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Youths are sexual beings (as are we). They should talk about sexual health with a medical professional. They aren't going to open up in front of mommy. Some of you who refuse to leave already know this, thus you don't leave. You want your teenagers to be sexless babies forever.

Youth are sexual beings
Really pedo?

What teenagers do between teenagers has nothing to do with pedophilia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Youths are sexual beings (as are we). They should talk about sexual health with a medical professional. They aren't going to open up in front of mommy. Some of you who refuse to leave already know this, thus you don't leave. You want your teenagers to be sexless babies forever.

Youth are sexual beings
Really pedo?

Get over yourself Puritan PP! Yes, most children start thinking about sexuality in their preteens - that is perfectly healthy and developmentally appropriate. The average age of first intercourse has been rising in recent years, but half of American teens have had first intercourse prior to age 18. Beyond intercourse, many more American teens are engaging in oral sex in their earlier teens because they believe it’s a safer option and ‘isn’t really sex’. This is one very good reason to get your kids the HPV vaccine as soon as they’re eligible (age 11/12, I believe?).

As a parent you need to talk to your kids. My preteen tells me way more than I want to hear. Examine your relationship if its an issue.

[Anonymous]

Starting at 13 I leave the room for my kids, it's a female doctor

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Youths are sexual beings (as are we). They should talk about sexual health with a medical professional. They aren't going to open up in front of mommy. Some of you who refuse to leave already know this, thus you don't leave. You want your teenagers to be sexless babies forever.

Youth are sexual beings
Really pedo?

Get over yourself Puritan PP! Yes, most children start thinking about sexuality in their preteens - that is perfectly healthy and developmentally appropriate. The average age of first intercourse has been rising in recent years, but half of American teens have had first intercourse prior to age 18. Beyond intercourse, many more American teens are engaging in oral sex in their earlier teens because they believe it’s a safer option and ‘isn’t really sex’. This is one very good reason to get your kids the HPV vaccine as soon as they’re eligible (age 11/12, I believe?).

The terms Youth and Sexual Beings are polar opposites.