Staying in the room at the pediatrician

[Anonymous]

Every family has different comfort levels around nudity. Some walk around starkers. Some are always fully clothed. I do think the bigger point is that the kids need to know they have another trusted adult to talk to if they don't want to talk to mom and dad. Just like their pastor, teachers, counselor, etc.

[Anonymous]

Doctors offices are not safe spaces. Medical privacy is a myth. And Dr. Nasser of Olympic fame is not the only one out there getting jollies at patient expense. Doctors have no right to an unaccompanied visit with a minor, and the minor has no ability to consent to one. Doctors can “ask” people to do things like leave the room, but they have no basis upon which to insist they do. The paternalistic days of “doctors orders” are long gone.

[Anonymous]

My kids ask me to leave for a part of the exam. One is 8 and the other 12.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Doctors offices are not safe spaces. Medical privacy is a myth. And Dr. Nasser of Olympic fame is not the only one out there getting jollies at patient expense. Doctors have no right to an unaccompanied visit with a minor, and the minor has no ability to consent to one. Doctors can “ask” people to do things like leave the room, but they have no basis upon which to insist they do. The paternalistic days of “doctors orders” are long gone.

I agree that doctors offices aren't a place for a child to be alone. But I'm okay with a nurse in the room and me not for the private parts of the exam.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Doctors offices are not safe spaces. Medical privacy is a myth. And Dr. Nasser of Olympic fame is not the only one out there getting jollies at patient expense. Doctors have no right to an unaccompanied visit with a minor, and the minor has no ability to consent to one. Doctors can “ask” people to do things like leave the room, but they have no basis upon which to insist they do. The paternalistic days of “doctors orders” are long gone.

No, doctors cannot "insist" as in force the point, but they can decline to continue to provide care for your child. That's not paternalism -- that's what it means to be a private business. Both parties are free to continue or not with the agreement to work together.

The recommendation is not for an unaccompanied visit with a minor, but to do HEADSS assessment apart from the parent. And the recommendation is to have a third party (not just the parent) present for any sensitive area physical assessment. So, even if a parent stays, there should also be a nurse or CNA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think we started leaving at 11, maybe 12? It's really whatever makes the child more comfortable. Obviously at very young ages, they are more comfortable with a parent during the physical exam, and as an older teen, it would be very uncomfortable to have a parent there - the crossover age depends on the child. Even if you stay for the exam, the doctor might want to have a few minutes in private for a discussion, however, and I think you should leave for that.

Same. DS had been seeing the same male dr since he was 6 and certainly didn’t want me in there for a physical exam by then. I’d be in for some of the appointment but always ask if he wanted to speak to the dr by himself. He never did but always wanted me out for a min for the exam.

[Anonymous]

I offered to step out at DS1’s last visit. Ped said she doesn’t start that until 12. Not sure I would use a pediatrician that I wouldn’t trust alone with my kid for 5 minutes with me outside the door.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doctors offices are not safe spaces. Medical privacy is a myth. And Dr. Nasser of Olympic fame is not the only one out there getting jollies at patient expense. Doctors have no right to an unaccompanied visit with a minor, and the minor has no ability to consent to one. Doctors can “ask” people to do things like leave the room, but they have no basis upon which to insist they do. The paternalistic days of “doctors orders” are long gone.

I agree that doctors offices aren't a place for a child to be alone. But I'm okay with a nurse in the room and me not for the private parts of the exam.

I think this is also a time for them to ask about topics (abuse, sexual abuse, drug use, sexual activity) that they may not want to answer in front of a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would never leave my kid in the room with a male doctor. I might be willing to leave them with female doctors.

You didn't say if you have a male or female child. Or does it not matter?

[Anonymous]

I had my husband start taking my son at age 9 as it was clear he was uncomfortable with me there - I would trust my husband to make a judgment call on stepping out of the room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been asked to leave the room for a portion of the visit since DC turned 13. I assume it's to ask questions about drugs/alcohol/abuse. Is this not the norm?

That has been my experience. The exams are done in my presence. The questions were more comprehensive - drugs, alcohol, depression/mental health and abuse

[Anonymous]

Frankly, I cant imagine any actual abused child just opening up to the pediatrician like magic during a visit in which the parent just steps outside the room.

Nor can I imagine a teen opening up to the pediatrician on command about their own drug and alcohol use.

Is there any evidence backing up this screening process? Im 52. I think I saw the pediatrician alone as a teen at some point but it wasn't due to being requested to do so. My dad had always been the one to bring me to the doc, and the doctor was male, his wife was the nurse. I never felt uncomfortable with him, but I never would have told him I was smoking weed either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I offered to step out at DS1’s last visit. Ped said she doesn’t start that until 12. Not sure I would use a pediatrician that I wouldn’t trust alone with my kid for 5 minutes with me outside the door.

But that is what makes me wonder. YOu are outside the door? So a kid would open up with the parent just outside the door?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I offered to step out at DS1’s last visit. Ped said she doesn’t start that until 12. Not sure I would use a pediatrician that I wouldn’t trust alone with my kid for 5 minutes with me outside the door.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I offered to step out at DS1’s last visit. Ped said she doesn’t start that until 12. Not sure I would use a pediatrician that I wouldn’t trust alone with my kid for 5 minutes with me outside the door.

But that is what makes me wonder. YOu are outside the door? So a kid would open up with the parent just outside the door?

Are you listening outside the door or does your kid think you would?