Staying in the room at the pediatrician

[Anonymous]

I remember a friend of mine with a daughter turning 12 or 13 saying that she was asked about her sexual orientation during the "parent out of the room" portion of the exam. The question to her was, apparently "Do you like boys, or girls, or both?"

Frankly, why is this assumed to be a concern for the pediatrician? Why is it assumed that they are going to beable to do jack squat if that kids orientation is a problem with their parents? What are they going to do, call social services because the patient cant tell mom they are gay?

I get that its a good thing to have trusted adults that arent your parents, but the choice of pediatrician is strange to me. They arent psychologists or social workers. They cant do anything to help their patient with their psychological issues if the kid cant be honest with their parent. Because if there is a problem with the kid and their parents, the pediatirician telling the parent your kid needs counseling would be not a good idea. Right?

What are we thinking here?

[Anonymous]

I agree with all posters who find this trend disconcerting. It was not the norm. I would be shocked to find that is made a dent in any social problem affecting kids today.

I just read an article in JAMA pediatrics about how doctors unwittingly co create the Munchausen by Proxy syndrome because they don't keep accurate enough documentation about who said or saw what when even in their own offices.

They don't have time for these complex issues. Its all they can do to keep the kids immunized and healthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I remember a friend of mine with a daughter turning 12 or 13 saying that she was asked about her sexual orientation during the "parent out of the room" portion of the exam. The question to her was, apparently "Do you like boys, or girls, or both?"

Frankly, why is this assumed to be a concern for the pediatrician? Why is it assumed that they are going to beable to do jack squat if that kids orientation is a problem with their parents? What are they going to do, call social services because the patient cant tell mom they are gay?

I get that its a good thing to have trusted adults that arent your parents, but the choice of pediatrician is strange to me. They arent psychologists or social workers. They cant do anything to help their patient with their psychological issues if the kid cant be honest with their parent. Because if there is a problem with the kid and their parents, the pediatirician telling the parent your kid needs counseling would be not a good idea. Right?

What are we thinking here?

I started leaving the room for exams when my kids turned 12. One of them is gay, and he told me the pediatrician talked with him about safe sex and medications like Prep that can help prevent HIV transmission. Maybe when he was 13 or 14, and done very much in a “in the future, when you’re thinking about becoming sexually active” way. That’s absolutely the sort of things many kids would not be comfortable talking about in front of their parents, and I’m thrilled that she had this conversation with him.

[Anonymous]

In certain states and with certain insurance companies, there are privacy laws starting at age 13.

We have Kaiser and it makes it a bit complicated with 13+ yr DDs since they have their own access to medical records, lab results, birth control prescript, and the like.

The intention was to make teens more comfortable to talk to medical professionals and receive honest and truthful medical advice (as opposed to getting answers from their parents or google MD or friends).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with all posters who find this trend disconcerting. It was not the norm. I would be shocked to find that is made a dent in any social problem affecting kids today.

I just read an article in JAMA pediatrics about how doctors unwittingly co create the Munchausen by Proxy syndrome because they don't keep accurate enough documentation about who said or saw what when even in their own offices.

They don't have time for these complex issues. Its all they can do to keep the kids immunized and healthy.

I think there's a difference between asking the parents to leave the room for an interview and asking the parents to leave the room for a genital exam.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been asked to leave the room for a portion of the visit since DC turned 13. I assume it's to ask questions about drugs/alcohol/abuse. Is this not the norm?

I leave for her to ask him questions, but I stay for the entire actual exam (even the private part).

Yucky. How would you have felt if your Mom/Dad had done that?

I spent three years changing his diaper and six years giving him baths. I think he can handle me seeing his twig and berries for thirty seconds a year.

Jesus, lady. You need some boundaries and your kids deserve privacy. I have teen and older boys. They ran around the house with no or minimal clothing for years, too. Doesn't mean that I didn't leave the exam room for their privacy during a doctor's visit when they were teens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I remember a friend of mine with a daughter turning 12 or 13 saying that she was asked about her sexual orientation during the "parent out of the room" portion of the exam. The question to her was, apparently "Do you like boys, or girls, or both?"

Frankly, why is this assumed to be a concern for the pediatrician? Why is it assumed that they are going to beable to do jack squat if that kids orientation is a problem with their parents? What are they going to do, call social services because the patient cant tell mom they are gay?

I get that its a good thing to have trusted adults that arent your parents, but the choice of pediatrician is strange to me. They arent psychologists or social workers. They cant do anything to help their patient with their psychological issues if the kid cant be honest with their parent. Because if there is a problem with the kid and their parents, the pediatirician telling the parent your kid needs counseling would be not a good idea. Right?

What are we thinking here?

Are you really this dumb that you don't realize that advice on sex will differ based on the answer the teen gives? That's a medical issue. SMH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Frankly, I cant imagine any actual abused child just opening up to the pediatrician like magic during a visit in which the parent just steps outside the room.

Nor can I imagine a teen opening up to the pediatrician on command about their own drug and alcohol use.

Is there any evidence backing up this screening process? Im 52. I think I saw the pediatrician alone as a teen at some point but it wasn't due to being requested to do so. My dad had always been the one to bring me to the doc, and the doctor was male, his wife was the nurse. I never felt uncomfortable with him, but I never would have told him I was smoking weed either.

Yes, there is both anecdote (clinical experience) and research data. I will go dig it up, if it will make a difference in your perspective.

Do you want me to do that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Starting at what age does y'all's pediatrician office ask you to step out during physical exams. Even though we see a female doctor, I still prefer to stay in the room for my son's entire check up.

6th grade

[Anonymous]

Our female ped asked my son at 14, before the pandemic, and he wanted me to stay.

We didn't go in-person for his 15 and 16 year old check-ups, so who knows what will happen next time. The ped knows that my son has special needs and several medical issues, so if I step out I will need to come back anyway to discuss those.

[Anonymous]

Never been asked to leave yet but 12yo DD was asked to fill out a private survey (it was about self harm, etc).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been asked to leave the room for a portion of the visit since DC turned 13. I assume it's to ask questions about drugs/alcohol/abuse. Is this not the norm?

I leave for her to ask him questions, but I stay for the entire actual exam (even the private part).

Yucky. How would you have felt if your Mom/Dad had done that?

I spent three years changing his diaper and six years giving him baths. I think he can handle me seeing his twig and berries for thirty seconds a year.

Funny!

My son feels more comfortable with me in the room, but if he changes his mind, out I go. All I want is for him to feel at ease with doctor's visits. I have complete trust in our wonderful ped, BTW.

[Anonymous]

I was asked to turn around to give DS some privacy. I wouldn’t leave him alone with a doctor.

[Anonymous]

Hm, my pediatrician will not allow me to leave the room even for the private parts. I think it's because they don't want to be accused of mistreatment. It's a liability thing. If I feel uncomfortable being present, I just look at the wall. That meets the requirement.

[Anonymous]

At recent visit for my 13DD, dr gave kid choice about whether I would leave for part of the visit. DD sent me to waiting room. Female dr and nurse talked to kid without me and then I returned. That was fine with me.