Wife Going Overboard Trying To Get Pregnant

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Which poistions?

OP here. Why do you need to know that?

DP. They don't. They're nosy snots. Ignore.

[Anonymous]

Tell her that all of the things she is doing have a fraction of the impact that being relaxed has. Stress messes up ALL your hormones. Just get those ovulation kits and keep trying, most women don't get pregnant on the first few tries even with perfect timing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is she actually doing. What did she cut out?

OP here. She read a book called “ It Starts With The Egg” and has been following advice in there.she had cut out all things like caffeine, alcohol, sugar, etc. She drinks caffeine maybe once a week ( green tea) and has 1-2 glasses of wine 1-2x a month. We are not big drinkers. I will have a beer or a glass of wine once a week.

She switched out all of our skincare - shampoo, body wash, lotions, etc., She switched out all of her makeup. She switched out the laundry detergent, hand soap, dish soap, house cleaners, no plastic wrap, etc. We started doing things like super nutrient dense smoothies and juicing for “ extra nutrients”. She also said using the microwave isn’t healthy.

I’m still supportive. I just wasn’t expecting expecting this. I can see if it’s been 1+ year of trying, but it’s only been two months. It’s not that long.

Surprise! Some of those things can actually be an issue for fertility. That doesn’t mean that it is but if it makes her feel better to eliminate those things from your life, what’s the issue? Think of it as pre-nesting.

OP here. I know it can and I don’t mind doing it all. I said that I didn’t mind it. I don’t like the mechanical sex, rigid schedules, and the fact that I feel there is no fun in it. I want her and I both to look back on it and remember it as a fun and happy time conceiving our first child. Not a stressed out situation. I also know the stress is not good for her. I want to be supportive and encouraging, while still keeping some level of sanity in the process.

So make it fun.

Demanding she make things fun for you isn’t fair, and it’s not going to work. Put in the effort to make it fun and happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is she actually doing. What did she cut out?

OP here. She read a book called “ It Starts With The Egg” and has been following advice in there.she had cut out all things like caffeine, alcohol, sugar, etc. She drinks caffeine maybe once a week ( green tea) and has 1-2 glasses of wine 1-2x a month. We are not big drinkers. I will have a beer or a glass of wine once a week.

She switched out all of our skincare - shampoo, body wash, lotions, etc., She switched out all of her makeup. She switched out the laundry detergent, hand soap, dish soap, house cleaners, no plastic wrap, etc. We started doing things like super nutrient dense smoothies and juicing for “ extra nutrients”. She also said using the microwave isn’t healthy.

I’m still supportive. I just wasn’t expecting expecting this. I can see if it’s been 1+ year of trying, but it’s only been two months. It’s not that long.

Surprise! Some of those things can actually be an issue for fertility. That doesn’t mean that it is but if it makes her feel better to eliminate those things from your life, what’s the issue? Think of it as pre-nesting.

OP here. I know it can and I don’t mind doing it all. I said that I didn’t mind it. I don’t like the mechanical sex, rigid schedules, and the fact that I feel there is no fun in it. I want her and I both to look back on it and remember it as a fun and happy time conceiving our first child. Not a stressed out situation. I also know the stress is not good for her. I want to be supportive and encouraging, while still keeping some level of sanity in the process.

So make it fun.

Demanding she make things fun for you isn’t fair, and it’s not going to work. Put in the effort to make it fun and happy.

Time for Marvin Gaye and a plumbers outfit, OP!!! Heeeheee!!! 😊

[Anonymous]

Baby making sex can be really boring. I would try to schedule some woo-hoo fun sex at times in the month when she less fertile just so you stay connected. Right in the fertile window pay attention to the signs of ovulation, and yes do the certain positions and post coital routines to increase your chances, but do the fun stuff at other times. My child is the result of a planned encounter that neither of us was particularly up for that day, but the indicators were present. We have plenty of fun othe people times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Baby making sex can be really boring. I would try to schedule some woo-hoo fun sex at times in the month when she less fertile just so you stay connected. Right in the fertile window pay attention to the signs of ovulation, and yes do the certain positions and post coital routines to increase your chances, but do the fun stuff at other times. My child is the result of a planned encounter that neither of us was particularly up for that day, but the indicators were present. We have plenty of fun othe people times.

OP here. She doesn’t want to have sex unless she’s in the fertile time. She said she read somewhere sperm is more potent if saved up. I have no clue. We went from having sex at least every other day to now like 7-8 times a month. It sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Baby making sex can be really boring. I would try to schedule some woo-hoo fun sex at times in the month when she less fertile just so you stay connected. Right in the fertile window pay attention to the signs of ovulation, and yes do the certain positions and post coital routines to increase your chances, but do the fun stuff at other times. My child is the result of a planned encounter that neither of us was particularly up for that day, but the indicators were present. We have plenty of fun othe people times.

OP here. She doesn’t want to have sex unless she’s in the fertile time. She said she read somewhere sperm is more potent if saved up. I have no clue. We went from having sex at least every other day to now like 7-8 times a month. It sucks.

This is all I could find to help you.


https://time.com/4065418/sex-fertility-conception/

https://www.reliasmedia.com/articles/134764-intercourse-at-the-time-of-implantation-confers-lower-chance-of-conception

https://www.futurity.org/sex-fertility-pregnancy-1020932/


And this.
https://www.adameve.com/lingerie/womens-wear/role-play/sp-naughty-nurse-13340.aspx

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Baby making sex can be really boring. I would try to schedule some woo-hoo fun sex at times in the month when she less fertile just so you stay connected. Right in the fertile window pay attention to the signs of ovulation, and yes do the certain positions and post coital routines to increase your chances, but do the fun stuff at other times. My child is the result of a planned encounter that neither of us was particularly up for that day, but the indicators were present. We have plenty of fun othe people times.

OP here. She doesn’t want to have sex unless she’s in the fertile time. She said she read somewhere sperm is more potent if saved up. I have no clue. We went from having sex at least every other day to now like 7-8 times a month. It sucks.

Ugh, I’m sorry. Because there’s nothing worse than being told just to relax and it will happen when you’re TTC, but at the same time she does need to consider the relationship as well. I would a) ask her to produce a reputable article that actually says that and b) put a marker down for one fun date night. Bottom line is, if the issue is ultimately that you have a low sperm count, doing it less isn’t going to help, and if it’s not the case, one or two fun nights more than a few days out from her fertile time isn’t going to affect anything. But nip the “I read it somewhere” stuff in the bud. Offer to go to the doctor with her for advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Baby making sex can be really boring. I would try to schedule some woo-hoo fun sex at times in the month when she less fertile just so you stay connected. Right in the fertile window pay attention to the signs of ovulation, and yes do the certain positions and post coital routines to increase your chances, but do the fun stuff at other times. My child is the result of a planned encounter that neither of us was particularly up for that day, but the indicators were present. We have plenty of fun othe people times.

OP here. She doesn’t want to have sex unless she’s in the fertile time. She said she read somewhere sperm is more potent if saved up. I have no clue. We went from having sex at least every other day to now like 7-8 times a month. It sucks.

You seems like a thoughtful partner. But you’re prob going to need to let this go. This is really normal. We were so over sex while trying to get pregnant. I was interested other times of the month than my fertility window and my husband still felt like I was treating him like breeding stock. It’s not uncommon. With luck the two of you will conceive, and with a bit more you’ll both be into pregnancy sex (it’s the bomb). Hang on there, stud.

[Anonymous]

I think it is 7% likehood each month, so 2 months only 14% likely pregnant. So another year of this. All of the things she is trying is only ‘old wives’ tales. The only people that says this works is the person selling the books or the supplements. A conversation needs to happen that says, how much fun is she having with life with this approach? Get her to agree to doing things together you both enjoy so that are are living and having other life experiences that will be harder to do once the kids arrive. What can you do to get her to laugh at this? Show up with a turkey baster and a timer and be dress up like a doctor the next time she says is right?

[Anonymous]

If she is THAT obsessed with just having a baby, just think how obsessed with it she is going to be once she has it?

(guess what: you won’t matter to her much, soon).

You should read up now on all the “sexless marriage” threads here - you are about to be in one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is normal to take up to a year for a woman under 35 to get pregnant. If it takes longer than six cycles she should talk to her doctor. Otherwise don’t sweat it. Easier said than done. Oh, and you should get a fertility work up first if she’s that nervous. You’ll need to it anyway if it makes much longer. And don’t be a baby about it. It’s not nearly as invasive for you as for her.

OP here. A year? Wow. No wonder some women become so crazy. We both had work up done and she went through various tests and it showed no issues. She still worries because she had friends who suffered from miscarriages or unexplained infertility even though everything checked out.

She sounds hugely anxious, and it's not going to get better during pregnancy or while you have a new baby. Keep an eye on her and her mental health.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is normal to take up to a year for a woman under 35 to get pregnant. If it takes longer than six cycles she should talk to her doctor. Otherwise don’t sweat it. Easier said than done. Oh, and you should get a fertility work up first if she’s that nervous. You’ll need to it anyway if it makes much longer. And don’t be a baby about it. It’s not nearly as invasive for you as for her.

OP here. A year? Wow. No wonder some women become so crazy. We both had work up done and she went through various tests and it showed no issues. She still worries because she had friends who suffered from miscarriages or unexplained infertility even though everything checked out.

She sounds hugely anxious, and it's not going to get better during pregnancy or while you have a new baby. Keep an eye on her and her mental health.

Ignore this person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Baby making sex can be really boring. I would try to schedule some woo-hoo fun sex at times in the month when she less fertile just so you stay connected. Right in the fertile window pay attention to the signs of ovulation, and yes do the certain positions and post coital routines to increase your chances, but do the fun stuff at other times. My child is the result of a planned encounter that neither of us was particularly up for that day, but the indicators were present. We have plenty of fun othe people times.

OP here. She doesn’t want to have sex unless she’s in the fertile time. She said she read somewhere sperm is more potent if saved up. I have no clue. We went from having sex at least every other day to now like 7-8 times a month. It sucks.

For God's sake, what does her OBGYN say? All of this woo stuff is dumb and some of it can be dangerous. You sound like a genuinely caring partner, but you better decide if you want your kids raised according to what some rando on the internet says or actual reality and medical advice. I am thoroughly exhausted on your behalf. I think you need to be honest and have a bit of a heart to heart with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is normal to take up to a year for a woman under 35 to get pregnant. If it takes longer than six cycles she should talk to her doctor. Otherwise don’t sweat it. Easier said than done. Oh, and you should get a fertility work up first if she’s that nervous. You’ll need to it anyway if it makes much longer. And don’t be a baby about it. It’s not nearly as invasive for you as for her.

OP here. A year? Wow. No wonder some women become so crazy. We both had work up done and she went through various tests and it showed no issues. She still worries because she had friends who suffered from miscarriages or unexplained infertility even though everything checked out.

She sounds hugely anxious, and it's not going to get better during pregnancy or while you have a new baby. Keep an eye on her and her mental health.

Ignore this person.

PP here - honestly, she sounds like she's already under pretty severe mental strain.