Wife Going Overboard Trying To Get Pregnant

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First, get unmarried. Then each of you get your dream job offered to you. you buy a 2 seater supercar.

You are now in a situation guaranteed to result in pregnancy.

OP here. Funny but I love being married to her and I want a family.

[Anonymous]

Seems like your wife needs a medical professional to explain that many of these things won’t actually increase the chance of getting pregnant. It would also be helpful for her to understand that even with zero medical issues for the man or woman, a woman’s chance of getting pregnant over the course of a year is something like 25%. So like a PP said, it’s perfectly normal for it to take time. I think most couples pursue reproductive advice after ~1 year of trying on their own, depending on their age.

Btw while that is true about endocrine disrupters in plastics and other synthetics, and it’s never a bad idea to cut those out, her exposure to endocrine disrupting chemicals has been going on her whole life. The chance that removing them now changes her hormone balance to support a pregnancy has got to be near zero. Seems like she needs an informed third party to help her understand that, and identify other things that may actually help in the near term.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is normal to take up to a year for a woman under 35 to get pregnant. If it takes longer than six cycles she should talk to her doctor. Otherwise don’t sweat it. Easier said than done. Oh, and you should get a fertility work up first if she’s that nervous. You’ll need to it anyway if it makes much longer. And don’t be a baby about it. It’s not nearly as invasive for you as for her.

OP here. A year? Wow. No wonder some women become so crazy. We both had work up done and she went through various tests and it showed no issues. She still worries because she had friends who suffered from miscarriages or unexplained infertility even though everything checked out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dude, enjoy the ride because once she starts having kids, you'll be longing for any sex...even if it's just mechanical.

Yep, man here and this is true. You can play a tape in your head while you do your thing. It's about to slow way, way down

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get the big deal, because this is temporary. It's only while you're trying to conceive, so once that happens, you won't have to worry about this anymore.

Not exactly. I went down this rabbit hole, and then pregnancy is an even darker one , and you end up with a very anxious new mom who transmits slot of the anxiety about the world to her kid. I would encourage her to talk to someone (like a therapist) about anxiety now, it would have saved me (and my family) some struggle later on. Also have her talk to her obgyn who will help debunk a lot of this. Try to distract her with some cool trips or experiences.

[Anonymous]

I had my first in my late 20s. That took 4mo this of trying. My second in my mud 30s and I tried for 3 years. Babies come when they come. The older you are the harder it sometimes will be. She needs to relax, have a drink and a fun night. That's how I got my second, I least expected it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you both at down with the OB/GYN about this, her medical profile, and the likelihood of relevance for the articles she is reading? That may help.

Is she taking prenatal vitamins now?

OP here. Yes. We have been to many consultations and she has had things done to make sure she doesn’t have any issues getting pregnant. So far we haven’t found anything. Though my wife said that many people have unexplained fertility for no reason.

She is taking prenatal vitamins as well as other supplements.

She has no fertility issues. How long have you been trying and how old are you two? The PP saying to allow a year is correct. Also tell her to stop stressing, the increased cortisol levels are not good for her. If she is on DCUM tell her to get off of it.

[Anonymous]

Is she using ovulation kits for timing? Because that’s one crazy thing that actually helps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is normal to take up to a year for a woman under 35 to get pregnant. If it takes longer than six cycles she should talk to her doctor. Otherwise don’t sweat it. Easier said than done. Oh, and you should get a fertility work up first if she’s that nervous. You’ll need to it anyway if it makes much longer. And don’t be a baby about it. It’s not nearly as invasive for you as for her.

OP here. A year? Wow. No wonder some women become so crazy. We both had work up done and she went through various tests and it showed no issues. She still worries because she had friends who suffered from miscarriages or unexplained infertility even though everything checked out.

She is showing anxiety, poor thing. She needs to think positively and not make this so stressful. Seriously. Most people do NOT have issues. I speak as someone that had several losses, too. I got pregnant easily each time, though.

There is no research around this, but I believe that stress (I was a severe Type A, much like your wife) made my body reject a growing life at different stages. A human life is delicate. Of course, this isn't necessarily backed up by any science, and we are all told it isn't our fault, but I still believe high cortisol levels were at play and caused preterm labor/loss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, get unmarried. Then each of you get your dream job offered to you. you buy a 2 seater supercar.

You are now in a situation guaranteed to result in pregnancy.

OP here. Funny but I love being married to her and I want a family.

This is so very sweet. I hope the best for both of you and your future younglings.

[Anonymous]

This is a good time, and good tie for you to realize life is no longer only about what you want, it ain't all fun, and you can't control everybody's feelings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seems like your wife needs a medical professional to explain that many of these things won’t actually increase the chance of getting pregnant. It would also be helpful for her to understand that even with zero medical issues for the man or woman, a woman’s chance of getting pregnant over the course of a year is something like 25%. So like a PP said, it’s perfectly normal for it to take time. I think most couples pursue reproductive advice after ~1 year of trying on their own, depending on their age.

Btw while that is true about endocrine disrupters in plastics and other synthetics, and it’s never a bad idea to cut those out, her exposure to endocrine disrupting chemicals has been going on her whole life. The chance that removing them now changes her hormone balance to support a pregnancy has got to be near zero. Seems like she needs an informed third party to help her understand that, and identify other things that may actually help in the near term.

She needs to relax. My unscientific opinion. Learn to relax. It prepares you wonderfully for motherhood anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you both at down with the OB/GYN about this, her medical profile, and the likelihood of relevance for the articles she is reading? That may help.

Is she taking prenatal vitamins now?

OP here. Yes. We have been to many consultations and she has had things done to make sure she doesn’t have any issues getting pregnant. So far we haven’t found anything. Though my wife said that many people have unexplained fertility for no reason.

She is taking prenatal vitamins as well as other supplements.

She has no fertility issues. How long have you been trying and how old are you two? The PP saying to allow a year is correct. Also tell her to stop stressing, the increased cortisol levels are not good for her. If she is on DCUM tell her to get off of it.

While well meaning. Telling someone to not stress never works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dude, enjoy the ride because once she starts having kids, you'll be longing for any sex...even if it's just mechanical.

Yep, man here and this is true. You can play a tape in your head while you do your thing. It's about to slow way, way down

Not true for everyone. My pregnant girlfriend was strutting in heels at my wedding, I am fairly certain her and her husband had a quickie during formal photos, and they had twins. Write your own story. You don't have to accept everyone else's narrative.

[Anonymous]

You want to be supportive? Show her that you care too. What are you doing to improve your chances? What research have you read? She probably feels you don't give a crap and all the pressure is on her/