Question for "strict" parents out there or believe they have very high standards for behavior

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If someone rolls their eyes at work they are a. 16 or b. act like a 16 year old. Nobody wants to work with either of these!

Sure. But do you act differently at home than at work? Do you keep yourself together 100% of the time? When you slip up, do your spouse and kids hound you?

I think you can have high standards and be realistic about the capabilities of your child. Temperament definitely plays a role in how easily a kid can keep it together at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If someone rolls their eyes at work they are a. 16 or b. act like a 16 year old. Nobody wants to work with either of these!

Sure. But do you act differently at home than at work? Do you keep yourself together 100% of the time? When you slip up, do your spouse and kids hound you?

I think you can have high standards and be realistic about the capabilities of your child. Temperament definitely plays a role in how easily a kid can keep it together at home.

Also, it’s documented that kids discipline other kids the way their parents discipline them. Do you want your kid to be the one that can’t let small things go?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The eye rolls and huffs are communicating something. If you use empathy to lean into what he’s feeling and out words to it, he will learn to communicate. How much do you model using “I feel” statements in your communication?

I feel irritated that making basic good behavior subject to negotiation from a young age inevitably results in adults who think that eye-rolling in front of the boss is an acceptable form dissent at work on this forum.
I feel sad when adults with a similar world view on the acceptability of eyerolling at work suggest that a supervisor who does not tolerate over-indulgent behavior deserves to be sabotaged.
I feel frustrated that their parents probably caved into manipulative behaviors, and feel regretful that they now have trouble coping with anything disagreeable to them.
I feel annoyed that when the role between parent and friend is blurred growing up, a similar misunderstanding happens at work.

Empathy and communication are important, but so are clear expectations, consequences, and teaching kids how to manage disappointment and frustration so they don't become insufferable adults.

If I rolled my eyes at my boss, I'd be fired. And I'd deserve it.

Good riddance, anyone who thinks they should be fired over an eye roll clearly has issues.

I work in a professional setting, where we are expected to discuss issues and disagreements using words. I'm not sure how they run things at the Dunkin Donuts you work at.

Where do you work so I can avoid insufferable assholes like you?

[Anonymous]

If you have trouble with eye rolling at work (and other juvenile behavior), I hope you are self-employed. One of my direct reports rolled her eyes in front of my boss and I had to fight for her during a round of layoffs. I had another direct report a few years earlier that was into performative huffiness and guess who didn’t get recommended for a promotion. Some may think that’s not fair but if you are going to be disrespectful you better be incredibly talented.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m strict. I have very polite A student middle schoolers. Rolling eyes and walking away is an absolute no go. It’s absolutely rude and not to be tolerated. How would you feel if your husband did this? Don’t care your age, nobody in my house is allowed to act like this.

We are the same, and I'd consider us VERY relaxed in most ways. Character t-shirts? By all means. Screen time? Sure (within reason). Ice cream? Nearly daily.

However, eye rolling and whining get called out EVERY TIME, and if they're not stopped, consequences follow. We don't really deal with disobedience (e.g. not stopping on the street) because that's immediate grounds for favorite toys going away for considerable amounts of time. We also make sure to explain why certain things are not tolerated, which we find goes a very long way with the 6 year old, as well as with the 2 year old. Kids, even little kids, are surprisingly intelligent.

[Anonymous]

Obviously I have no idea if this is an issue for you or not - but consider whether the eye roll is in response to your tone rather than what you want him to do. It took me a long time to realize that with my daughter. If my tone was demanding, condescending, or berating, she was noncompliant and rolled her eyes. If I was kind and respectful to her, she would do the same for me.