Slept with friend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not so much bummed for him that you don’t reciprocate his feelings — but I’m very bummed for *you*. He’s a good friend (the basis of a good relationship), a great guy, good in bed, “hung” and he has romantic feelings for you. But you’re still in love with someone who is completely unworthy.

This isn’t a criticism - you have a broken heart, and you literally just broke up with someone you thought you were going to marry. It’s just a case of terrible timing. This guy friend sounds like the kind of guy you should be with, and who doesn’t come around every day. I wish you were in a place to give it a chance.

If it’s meant to be, he’ll be patient. Or maybe he just isn’t the guy for you, regardless. You’re right not to jump into something else right now, but darn.

+1. I thought, maybe the sex was bad but OP comes back and days it was great. Maybe the guy friend isn’t really a great guy and she comes back and said he is. Maybe she has a boyfriend or he has a girlfriend - nope both are single. Op would you want to date him if you hadn’t just been in the long term relationship and he asked you? If yes, figure out if there is a way to take it slow. If no, realize that you might lose the strong friendship, but it would be wrong to lead someone on and prevent them from finding the one for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not so much bummed for him that you don’t reciprocate his feelings — but I’m very bummed for *you*. He’s a good friend (the basis of a good relationship), a great guy, good in bed, “hung” and he has romantic feelings for you. But you’re still in love with someone who is completely unworthy.

This isn’t a criticism - you have a broken heart, and you literally just broke up with someone you thought you were going to marry. It’s just a case of terrible timing. This guy friend sounds like the kind of guy you should be with, and who doesn’t come around every day. I wish you were in a place to give it a chance.

If it’s meant to be, he’ll be patient. Or maybe he just isn’t the guy for you, regardless. You’re right not to jump into something else right now, but darn.

If it’s meant to be, maybe they’ll be single at the same time again down the road. But he’d be either an idiot or not really date-able to most people to just sit around and not try to meet someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just tell him the truth clearly and soon. Your friendship may or may not survive it. Now that you know how he feels, it will be harder to maintain the friendship anyway, but who knows. Just don’t use him as your sounding board when you start dating others and don’t continue to sleep with him if you truly aren’t interested - will make it too hard for him to move on to a someone he can really be with.

As a guy who once was in the position of the friend, I think this is an excellent answer. I shared that I was interested in more than a friendship. She was clear that it was a one-time thing but valued the friendship. We were a bit distant for a little while, but had been friends for years and we started to hang out as we had before. She did spare me details of her intimate feelings/thoughts about guys she starting dating later, which I appreciated. I can see how this could change the friendship you had, and it is possible it could end it. But do tell him clearly and said as PP said; it will be better for both of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I slept with a friend last night after having a bad week. We have been friends for a while but never anything romantic. We were both tipsy. It was good but just sex for me. He woke up today and texted me how he has liked me since we met but never made a move because I was in a relationship. He thinks we should give it a chance. I don't want to hurt him but I'm not interested in dating him. How do I let him down gently without horribly screwing up our friendship?

Awesome! Kiss this friendship goodbye.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell him that you're not into him and then sleep with him again as a consolation prize. Trust me, he will appreciate it.

Only men would come up with this stuff.

Letting you put your junk inside our bodies is not a little party favor.

We are not receptacles.

Funny, it sounds as though OP is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You could let him know, but seriously, you should at least give him a parting BJ. would be a great kindness.

OP here. This will not be happening.

And it shouldn't because that is insane. That's treating men as if they can't handle the fact that a woman isn't into them. A parting gift? They were never together. Doing anything sexual again will just encourage him. The men suggesting this are just selfish @ssholes

Right, because it’s better for her to waste moments she can’t get back pining over a dead relationship when there’s a guy who is - her friend - hung - gave her multiple orgasms - is single.

Rational much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s keeping you from just going with it? You cared enough to hook up with him. Are you sure there are no feelings there on your part? Are you sure he’s not what you want?

OP here. I don’t like him. I was tipsy, he kissed me, and we had sex. I broke up with my ex-boyfriend a week ago. I’m not ready for anything.

Just curious: how many people have you slept with only because they wanted to/initiated it?

She was highly vulnerable, and had been drinking.

Stop being so harsh. We all need ways to get through the night.

Her friend was opportunistic too. This type of hookup doesn't usually lead to happily ever after. Tell him the truth and let it play out. Don't let others guilt you into entertaining something that you don't want.

[Anonymous]

I’m not sure why everyone is being harsh to OP. People do things and sometimes they regret them. Her friend knew she was probably in a vulnerable position and should not be shocked when she tells him that she’s not ready to date anyone, including him.

Them’s the breaks!

[Anonymous]

Next week she'll be back complaining he banged her hotter friend and she really did want him!

[Anonymous]

Sleeping with a friend is very high risk. For over two years I had a guy friend who lived in another city and like me he loved to travel so a few times a year we’d meet up somewhere overseas for a week and sex was part of the trip. He was a great travel buddy! Then I started having real feelings for him and I told him so and that ended it because he just enjoyed me as a travel buddy. So the trips ended and our friendship just petered out. It certainly wasn’t like OP’s ONS but the risk of wrecking a good relationship is high.

[Anonymous]

You need to give him more sex for doing this to him.

[Anonymous]

Go out with him and one of your hot friends, have a threesome, and pass him off to her.
Problem solved.

[Anonymous]

You at least owe him the courtesy of honesty so he can make an informed decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You at least owe him the courtesy of honesty so he can make an informed decision.

And a courtesy send off.

[Anonymous]

I had a friend like OP once. Every time we would be drinking together she would start kissing me and we would end up having sex. The next day she would be asking me not to tell anyone what happened. I enjoyed her company and I was single at the time so I enjoyed the sex. After a while of this happening every couple weeks though I stopped hanging out with her. I got sick of being used and being a secret. When I did meet someone, I found out she was pissed. Oh well