Good/bad coaches - development and ethical behavior

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you elaborate PP? This is OP. What is so out of the norm? I have only one child and child has only played for two years so I don't know what seems off and what is normal.

1. clubs usually try for consistency vis a vis playing time- either their top teams are earn your spot or they are everyone plays (this is easier said than done)

2. a coach not stepping in when kids are fighting or favoring kids who belittle teammates is way past anything I've seen

3. pass the to the Italians is a joke, I've never actually seen a team do it

Thank you.

1 What do you mean by earn your spot? Isn't that the same thing? That some kids don't get to play?
2 I don't think the coach favors kids who belittle other kids because they belittle other kids but the coach favors those kids in general so the coach doesn't seem to care. One kid hurls insults like crazy at other players yet the next game he played the entire time. Did not have to apologize, did not have to sit out of practice. No consequences. Sends a message to the team that the coach endorses the behavior.

My kid is on a u15 team. He definitely has to earn his spot to play in the games. He has sat out most of the games this season. It sucks but he has to work hard if he’s going to play. This is a high level team FYI.

are you going to be similarly happy when he decides to drop the sport because driving an hour and a half each way to not play gets both boring and demoralizing fast?

That is the way life is. You have to work hard to get things. It is a great lesson in working hard to achieve something. Want guaranteed play? Go play rec.

unless your kid just isn't as good as their teammates. Then your teaching him that his weekends are best spent watching others succeed because dad is too embarrassed to have him play for a team that actually matches his skill set - much better to be able to brag about the great team he 'plays' for

Still missing the hard work part? He/she made the "elite" team so they probably have the talent...probably just needs to put in more work and more confidence from dad.
But if you want to strive for mediocrity…go for it. Why work backwards?

I wonder if they hand up all the medals that they watch their team win ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you elaborate PP? This is OP. What is so out of the norm? I have only one child and child has only played for two years so I don't know what seems off and what is normal.

1. clubs usually try for consistency vis a vis playing time- either their top teams are earn your spot or they are everyone plays (this is easier said than done)

2. a coach not stepping in when kids are fighting or favoring kids who belittle teammates is way past anything I've seen

3. pass the to the Italians is a joke, I've never actually seen a team do it

Thank you.

1 What do you mean by earn your spot? Isn't that the same thing? That some kids don't get to play?
2 I don't think the coach favors kids who belittle other kids because they belittle other kids but the coach favors those kids in general so the coach doesn't seem to care. One kid hurls insults like crazy at other players yet the next game he played the entire time. Did not have to apologize, did not have to sit out of practice. No consequences. Sends a message to the team that the coach endorses the behavior.

My kid is on a u15 team. He definitely has to earn his spot to play in the games. He has sat out most of the games this season. It sucks but he has to work hard if he’s going to play. This is a high level team FYI.

are you going to be similarly happy when he decides to drop the sport because driving an hour and a half each way to not play gets both boring and demoralizing fast?

That is the way life is. You have to work hard to get things. It is a great lesson in working hard to achieve something. Want guaranteed play? Go play rec.

unless your kid just isn't as good as their teammates. Then your teaching him that his weekends are best spent watching others succeed because dad is too embarrassed to have him play for a team that actually matches his skill set - much better to be able to brag about the great team he 'plays' for

Still missing the hard work part? He/she made the "elite" team so they probably have the talent...probably just needs to put in more work and more confidence from dad.
But if you want to strive for mediocrity…go for it. Why work backwards?

I am the parent of the kid who had been sitting out mostly all the games. U15 player. It breaks my heart and HIS heart, most importantly, that he hasn’t been playing. But I will tell you this, he knows what he hast to do to play. Every practice he has, he knows he has to be on. He is working hard to earn that play time. I am proud of him. It is a life lesson because life is not fair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you elaborate PP? This is OP. What is so out of the norm? I have only one child and child has only played for two years so I don't know what seems off and what is normal.

1. clubs usually try for consistency vis a vis playing time- either their top teams are earn your spot or they are everyone plays (this is easier said than done)

2. a coach not stepping in when kids are fighting or favoring kids who belittle teammates is way past anything I've seen

3. pass the to the Italians is a joke, I've never actually seen a team do it

Thank you.

1 What do you mean by earn your spot? Isn't that the same thing? That some kids don't get to play?
2 I don't think the coach favors kids who belittle other kids because they belittle other kids but the coach favors those kids in general so the coach doesn't seem to care. One kid hurls insults like crazy at other players yet the next game he played the entire time. Did not have to apologize, did not have to sit out of practice. No consequences. Sends a message to the team that the coach endorses the behavior.

My kid is on a u15 team. He definitely has to earn his spot to play in the games. He has sat out most of the games this season. It sucks but he has to work hard if he’s going to play. This is a high level team FYI.

are you going to be similarly happy when he decides to drop the sport because driving an hour and a half each way to not play gets both boring and demoralizing fast?

That is the way life is. You have to work hard to get things. It is a great lesson in working hard to achieve something. Want guaranteed play? Go play rec.

unless your kid just isn't as good as their teammates. Then your teaching him that his weekends are best spent watching others succeed because dad is too embarrassed to have him play for a team that actually matches his skill set - much better to be able to brag about the great team he 'plays' for

Still missing the hard work part? He/she made the "elite" team so they probably have the talent...probably just needs to put in more work and more confidence from dad.
But if you want to strive for mediocrity…go for it. Why work backwards?

I am the parent of the kid who had been sitting out mostly all the games. U15 player. It breaks my heart and HIS heart, most importantly, that he hasn’t been playing. But I will tell you this, he knows what he hast to do to play. Every practice he has, he knows he has to be on. He is working hard to earn that play time. I am proud of him. It is a life lesson because life is not fair.

+100000 This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you elaborate PP? This is OP. What is so out of the norm? I have only one child and child has only played for two years so I don't know what seems off and what is normal.

1. clubs usually try for consistency vis a vis playing time- either their top teams are earn your spot or they are everyone plays (this is easier said than done)

2. a coach not stepping in when kids are fighting or favoring kids who belittle teammates is way past anything I've seen

3. pass the to the Italians is a joke, I've never actually seen a team do it

Thank you.

1 What do you mean by earn your spot? Isn't that the same thing? That some kids don't get to play?
2 I don't think the coach favors kids who belittle other kids because they belittle other kids but the coach favors those kids in general so the coach doesn't seem to care. One kid hurls insults like crazy at other players yet the next game he played the entire time. Did not have to apologize, did not have to sit out of practice. No consequences. Sends a message to the team that the coach endorses the behavior.

My kid is on a u15 team. He definitely has to earn his spot to play in the games. He has sat out most of the games this season. It sucks but he has to work hard if he’s going to play. This is a high level team FYI.

are you going to be similarly happy when he decides to drop the sport because driving an hour and a half each way to not play gets both boring and demoralizing fast?

That is the way life is. You have to work hard to get things. It is a great lesson in working hard to achieve something. Want guaranteed play? Go play rec.

unless your kid just isn't as good as their teammates. Then your teaching him that his weekends are best spent watching others succeed because dad is too embarrassed to have him play for a team that actually matches his skill set - much better to be able to brag about the great team he 'plays' for

Still missing the hard work part? He/she made the "elite" team so they probably have the talent...probably just needs to put in more work and more confidence from dad.
But if you want to strive for mediocrity…go for it. Why work backwards?

I am the parent of the kid who had been sitting out mostly all the games. U15 player. It breaks my heart and HIS heart, most importantly, that he hasn’t been playing. But I will tell you this, he knows what he hast to do to play. Every practice he has, he knows he has to be on. He is working hard to earn that play time. I am proud of him. It is a life lesson because life is not fair.

+100000 This.

so he knows, but he isn't capable of doing it? Another life lesson is learning when to move on be it a company where you have no promotion potential or a relationship going nowhere

[Anonymous]

I am the parent of the kid who had been sitting out mostly all the games. U15 player. It breaks my heart and HIS heart, most importantly, that he hasn’t been playing. But I will tell you this, he knows what he hast to do to play. Every practice he has, he knows he has to be on. He is working hard to earn that play time. I am proud of him. It is a life lesson because life is not fair.



+100000 This.

I agree with this IF, and this is the huge if, the kid knows what he needs to do to play more. This is where the coach needs to communicate with the player. If, instead, the coach just freezes a kid out and doesn't have any communication about what he needs to do to improve, that's not motivating or productive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I am the parent of the kid who had been sitting out mostly all the games. U15 player. It breaks my heart and HIS heart, most importantly, that he hasn’t been playing. But I will tell you this, he knows what he hast to do to play. Every practice he has, he knows he has to be on. He is working hard to earn that play time. I am proud of him. It is a life lesson because life is not fair.



+100000 This.

I agree with this IF, and this is the huge if, the kid knows what he needs to do to play more. This is where the coach needs to communicate with the player. If, instead, the coach just freezes a kid out and doesn't have any communication about what he needs to do to improve, that's not motivating or productive.

the season is almost over, if the kid isn't playing at all this far in then either 1) he doesn't know what to do/isn't working hard enough or 2) just doesn't have the requisite skill level

[Anonymous]

Find a team that is the right level for your kid. It’s not his fault it is your responsibility as a parent to put your child in an environment where they will be happy and successful

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Find a team that is the right level for your kid. It’s not his fault it is your responsibility as a parent to put your child in an environment where they will be happy and successful

This is terrible advice because there is no way anyone can truly know. You can certainly try, but you never know for sure. Trust me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find a team that is the right level for your kid. It’s not his fault it is your responsibility as a parent to put your child in an environment where they will be happy and successful

This is terrible advice because there is no way anyone can truly know. You can certainly try, but you never know for sure. Trust me.

if its November and your kid isn't playing, you know

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find a team that is the right level for your kid. It’s not his fault it is your responsibility as a parent to put your child in an environment where they will be happy and successful

This is terrible advice because there is no way anyone can truly know. You can certainly try, but you never know for sure. Trust me.

if its November and your kid isn't playing, you know

I was saying that there is no way to really know what environment you are putting your kid in. Things change throughout the season and there is honestly no way to know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find a team that is the right level for your kid. It’s not his fault it is your responsibility as a parent to put your child in an environment where they will be happy and successful

This is terrible advice because there is no way anyone can truly know. You can certainly try, but you never know for sure. Trust me.

if its November and your kid isn't playing, you know

I was saying that there is no way to really know what environment you are putting your kid in. Things change throughout the season and there is honestly no way to know.

I love May daughter and she busts her ass working, if she went to McClean and made a top team, I wouldn’t expect her to see the field. Right now, she plays EDP, plays most of the game and the team does fairly well- that makes me think she’s at the proper level

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Find a team that is the right level for your kid. It’s not his fault it is your responsibility as a parent to put your child in an environment where they will be happy and successful

Guess you take tests for your kid and will be there when they interview for a job.

[Anonymous]

Find a team that is the right level for your kid. It’s not his fault it is your responsibility as a parent to put your child in an environment where they will be happy and successful


This is terrible advice because there is no way anyone can truly know. You can certainly try, but you never know for sure. Trust me.


if its November and your kid isn't playing, you know


I was saying that there is no way to really know what environment you are putting your kid in. Things change throughout the season and there is honestly no way to know.

If it is their first year playing, then there is no way to know. If they have been one of the weaker players on their team for like 3 years, you know. Unfortunately, this was the case for my older son, and he was much happier going back to a rec team. There is no shame in that - kids should play where they are happy, and can actually get playing time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find a team that is the right level for your kid. It’s not his fault it is your responsibility as a parent to put your child in an environment where they will be happy and successful

Guess you take tests for your kid and will be there when they interview for a job.

When you ask you kid how the did in a game, what exactly do they tell you? It was awesome dad, the grass was super soft and a great place to sit on a beautiful afternoon?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find a team that is the right level for your kid. It’s not his fault it is your responsibility as a parent to put your child in an environment where they will be happy and successful

Guess you take tests for your kid and will be there when they interview for a job.

When you ask you kid how the did in a game, what exactly do they tell you? It was awesome dad, the grass was super soft and a great place to sit on a beautiful afternoon?

No need on this thread for your nastiness. Please go away.