Good/bad coaches - development and ethical behavior

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good system. How hard is it to get on a team for Arlington?

Hard.

But that's not the point.

I used Arlington as an example because some people are suggesting that limiting playing time is justifiable when things get very competitive at a high level and older age groups. And my point was that the (arguably) best teams in northern VA, playing at the highest level, do not find it necessary to do this.

If Arlington can provide at least 50% playing time for all players in DA and now ECNL where their teams are highly successful, why is any other club justified in not doing so?

Not hard at all for any of the 3-6 teams in an age group. The top ECNL teams/ DA in older age groups have a lot of players from other Clubs and that is more difficult. Somebody on here likes to pump the sh*t out of Arlington. We are here because we live here and we have seen better or similar soccer in other Clubs.

I know Arlington has several players on their second teams that are “part time” on their top teams (GA/ECNL). In the rare event that one of them is actually invited to play with top team are they guaranteed to play half the game? I know DA had certain rules, but Arlington is no longer in the DA, do they still follow DA rules?

I don't think there's a formal guarantee - but knowing the coaches - I don't think they would issue the invitation without the intent to play the kid for a decent amount of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good system. How hard is it to get on a team for Arlington?

Hard.

But that's not the point.

I used Arlington as an example because some people are suggesting that limiting playing time is justifiable when things get very competitive at a high level and older age groups. And my point was that the (arguably) best teams in northern VA, playing at the highest level, do not find it necessary to do this.

If Arlington can provide at least 50% playing time for all players in DA and now ECNL where their teams are highly successful, why is any other club justified in not doing so?

Not hard at all for any of the 3-6 teams in an age group. The top ECNL teams/ DA in older age groups have a lot of players from other Clubs and that is more difficult. Somebody on here likes to pump the sh*t out of Arlington. We are here because we live here and we have seen better or similar soccer in other Clubs.

I know Arlington has several players on their second teams that are “part time” on their top teams (GA/ECNL). In the rare event that one of them is actually invited to play with top team are they guaranteed to play half the game? I know DA had certain rules, but Arlington is no longer in the DA, do they still follow DA rules?

I don't think there's a formal guarantee - but knowing the coaches - I don't think they would issue the invitation without the intent to play the kid for a decent amount of time.

Unless I suppose the kid were a goalkeeper such that they had 3 GKs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you elaborate PP? This is OP. What is so out of the norm? I have only one child and child has only played for two years so I don't know what seems off and what is normal.

1. clubs usually try for consistency vis a vis playing time- either their top teams are earn your spot or they are everyone plays (this is easier said than done)

2. a coach not stepping in when kids are fighting or favoring kids who belittle teammates is way past anything I've seen

3. pass the to the Italians is a joke, I've never actually seen a team do it

Thank you.

1 What do you mean by earn your spot? Isn't that the same thing? That some kids don't get to play?
2 I don't think the coach favors kids who belittle other kids because they belittle other kids but the coach favors those kids in general so the coach doesn't seem to care. One kid hurls insults like crazy at other players yet the next game he played the entire time. Did not have to apologize, did not have to sit out of practice. No consequences. Sends a message to the team that the coach endorses the behavior.
3 It's U14. They do what the coach signals them to do and he's clearly given negative signals about including certain players.

My kid is on a u15 team. He definitely has to earn his spot to play in the games. He has sat out most of the games this season. It sucks but he has to work hard if he’s going to play. This is a high level team FYI.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you elaborate PP? This is OP. What is so out of the norm? I have only one child and child has only played for two years so I don't know what seems off and what is normal.

1. clubs usually try for consistency vis a vis playing time- either their top teams are earn your spot or they are everyone plays (this is easier said than done)

2. a coach not stepping in when kids are fighting or favoring kids who belittle teammates is way past anything I've seen

3. pass the to the Italians is a joke, I've never actually seen a team do it

Thank you.

1 What do you mean by earn your spot? Isn't that the same thing? That some kids don't get to play?
2 I don't think the coach favors kids who belittle other kids because they belittle other kids but the coach favors those kids in general so the coach doesn't seem to care. One kid hurls insults like crazy at other players yet the next game he played the entire time. Did not have to apologize, did not have to sit out of practice. No consequences. Sends a message to the team that the coach endorses the behavior.
3 It's U14. They do what the coach signals them to do and he's clearly given negative signals about including certain players.

My kid is on a u15 team. He definitely has to earn his spot to play in the games. He has sat out most of the games this season. It sucks but he has to work hard if he’s going to play. This is a high level team FYI.

There’s a difference between earning a spot and favoritism. If you are in an environment without favoritism where kids are truly earning their spot, that’s fabulous. It’s also a rarity, so you should cherish it and recognize that there are plenty of places where that ideal isn’t met. I’ve seen enough environments like the PP to agree with his or her comments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is DC's second year on travel, same club, and DC is still young but not that young at U14. Big contrast between coach last year and this year. Both are good coaches when it comes to giving directions, having a mostly even temper and knowing the game. We are satisfied from that point but we've had some discussion about how the two coaches differ in team-building, morale and how they deal with individual players.

Last year, the coach made a lot of effort to make sure each player was valued and treated equally to a big extent. The best players started and played most of the game and the ones that were not as good played slightly less but there was a great sense that this was a team and wins were everyone's wins and losses were everyone's losses. Old coach did not tolerate any negative comments towards other players and if you said something you were automatically benched the next game.

The coach this year has a completely different approach and seems to have his favorites and seems to shun certain players. We were surprised he sent some of the less good players off to practice with a lower team a few times. That's not really promoting team bonding, and it sends a poor message to the rest of the players. Morale is horrible. The better players are allowed to insult the less good players with no consequence. The less good players presumably feel awful because we can see them at each game looking very dejected because they did not go in. The better players are sniping at each other too and one left the field in tears a few weeks ago after another one had an outburst directed at said tearful player.

This is normal team, not one of those elite teams.

DC, who has been in somewhere in the middle in terms of ability both years, is very upset by the whole thing. DC has no other activities right now other than soccer and used to really enjoy the team aspect of the sport and got along really well with the other players. Beyond the not very good ethical role modeling, it is impacting the soccer. The players don't pass the way they used to pass. They pass only to the "better" players instead of making the correct move which is to pass to the ones who are open and in the best position.

I get that different coaches have different styles and it's hard to find a coach that has everything but this is an emotional time for kids and we want him to be able to go to practice and feel good.

I don't even know if I have a question. Just not feeling great about this situation and not sure if anything can be done.

We have talked about Bobby P at FCV sooo manyt times! He totally encourages this and is disgraceful.

[Anonymous]

Is this the director? He encourages negativity and within team competition? Really depressing, especially at a time like this.

[Anonymous]

FCV parent - does this happen at the younger (U14 and below) age groups also?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you elaborate PP? This is OP. What is so out of the norm? I have only one child and child has only played for two years so I don't know what seems off and what is normal.

1. clubs usually try for consistency vis a vis playing time- either their top teams are earn your spot or they are everyone plays (this is easier said than done)

2. a coach not stepping in when kids are fighting or favoring kids who belittle teammates is way past anything I've seen

3. pass the to the Italians is a joke, I've never actually seen a team do it

Thank you.

1 What do you mean by earn your spot? Isn't that the same thing? That some kids don't get to play?
2 I don't think the coach favors kids who belittle other kids because they belittle other kids but the coach favors those kids in general so the coach doesn't seem to care. One kid hurls insults like crazy at other players yet the next game he played the entire time. Did not have to apologize, did not have to sit out of practice. No consequences. Sends a message to the team that the coach endorses the behavior.
3 It's U14. They do what the coach signals them to do and he's clearly given negative signals about including certain players.

My kid is on a u15 team. He definitely has to earn his spot to play in the games. He has sat out most of the games this season. It sucks but he has to work hard if he’s going to play. This is a high level team FYI.

There’s a difference between earning a spot and favoritism. If you are in an environment without favoritism where kids are truly earning their spot, that’s fabulous. It’s also a rarity, so you should cherish it and recognize that there are plenty of places where that ideal isn’t met. I’ve seen enough environments like the PP to agree with his or her comments.

Yeah our coach has his favorites. He has favorites and moves them into different positions depending how the game is going. If we are winning he'll move them into a defensive position. If we are losing he'll move them to striker. Though, it really doesn't make a difference and it is lazy coaching.
We are currently looking for a new club.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you elaborate PP? This is OP. What is so out of the norm? I have only one child and child has only played for two years so I don't know what seems off and what is normal.

1. clubs usually try for consistency vis a vis playing time- either their top teams are earn your spot or they are everyone plays (this is easier said than done)

2. a coach not stepping in when kids are fighting or favoring kids who belittle teammates is way past anything I've seen

3. pass the to the Italians is a joke, I've never actually seen a team do it

Thank you.

1 What do you mean by earn your spot? Isn't that the same thing? That some kids don't get to play?
2 I don't think the coach favors kids who belittle other kids because they belittle other kids but the coach favors those kids in general so the coach doesn't seem to care. One kid hurls insults like crazy at other players yet the next game he played the entire time. Did not have to apologize, did not have to sit out of practice. No consequences. Sends a message to the team that the coach endorses the behavior.
3 It's U14. They do what the coach signals them to do and he's clearly given negative signals about including certain players.

My kid is on a u15 team. He definitely has to earn his spot to play in the games. He has sat out most of the games this season. It sucks but he has to work hard if he’s going to play. This is a high level team FYI.

are you going to be similarly happy when he decides to drop the sport because driving an hour and a half each way to not play gets both boring and demoralizing fast?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you elaborate PP? This is OP. What is so out of the norm? I have only one child and child has only played for two years so I don't know what seems off and what is normal.

1. clubs usually try for consistency vis a vis playing time- either their top teams are earn your spot or they are everyone plays (this is easier said than done)

2. a coach not stepping in when kids are fighting or favoring kids who belittle teammates is way past anything I've seen

3. pass the to the Italians is a joke, I've never actually seen a team do it

Thank you.

1 What do you mean by earn your spot? Isn't that the same thing? That some kids don't get to play?
2 I don't think the coach favors kids who belittle other kids because they belittle other kids but the coach favors those kids in general so the coach doesn't seem to care. One kid hurls insults like crazy at other players yet the next game he played the entire time. Did not have to apologize, did not have to sit out of practice. No consequences. Sends a message to the team that the coach endorses the behavior.
3 It's U14. They do what the coach signals them to do and he's clearly given negative signals about including certain players.

My kid is on a u15 team. He definitely has to earn his spot to play in the games. He has sat out most of the games this season. It sucks but he has to work hard if he’s going to play. This is a high level team FYI.

Maybe you all should drop down a level to actually play.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you elaborate PP? This is OP. What is so out of the norm? I have only one child and child has only played for two years so I don't know what seems off and what is normal.

1. clubs usually try for consistency vis a vis playing time- either their top teams are earn your spot or they are everyone plays (this is easier said than done)

2. a coach not stepping in when kids are fighting or favoring kids who belittle teammates is way past anything I've seen

3. pass the to the Italians is a joke, I've never actually seen a team do it

Thank you.

1 What do you mean by earn your spot? Isn't that the same thing? That some kids don't get to play?
2 I don't think the coach favors kids who belittle other kids because they belittle other kids but the coach favors those kids in general so the coach doesn't seem to care. One kid hurls insults like crazy at other players yet the next game he played the entire time. Did not have to apologize, did not have to sit out of practice. No consequences. Sends a message to the team that the coach endorses the behavior.
3 It's U14. They do what the coach signals them to do and he's clearly given negative signals about including certain players.

My kid is on a u15 team. He definitely has to earn his spot to play in the games. He has sat out most of the games this season. It sucks but he has to work hard if he’s going to play. This is a high level team FYI.

are you going to be similarly happy when he decides to drop the sport because driving an hour and a half each way to not play gets both boring and demoralizing fast?

That is the way life is. You have to work hard to get things. It is a great lesson in working hard to achieve something. Want guaranteed play? Go play rec.

[Anonymous]

Coach here -

I really wish teams would stop rostering beyond what is allowed for game day. I understand it to some degree for the very oldest age group, as injuries and other commitments generally cause enough conflict so that no one ever has to sit out, but in general I find it to be just bad practice.

Usually teams at that level have a team or two below them they can pull from if numbers get really bad.

At a minimum teams that roster more than is allowed to dress out for games need to communicate that early on in the tryout process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you elaborate PP? This is OP. What is so out of the norm? I have only one child and child has only played for two years so I don't know what seems off and what is normal.

1. clubs usually try for consistency vis a vis playing time- either their top teams are earn your spot or they are everyone plays (this is easier said than done)

2. a coach not stepping in when kids are fighting or favoring kids who belittle teammates is way past anything I've seen

3. pass the to the Italians is a joke, I've never actually seen a team do it

Thank you.

1 What do you mean by earn your spot? Isn't that the same thing? That some kids don't get to play?
2 I don't think the coach favors kids who belittle other kids because they belittle other kids but the coach favors those kids in general so the coach doesn't seem to care. One kid hurls insults like crazy at other players yet the next game he played the entire time. Did not have to apologize, did not have to sit out of practice. No consequences. Sends a message to the team that the coach endorses the behavior.
3 It's U14. They do what the coach signals them to do and he's clearly given negative signals about including certain players.

My kid is on a u15 team. He definitely has to earn his spot to play in the games. He has sat out most of the games this season. It sucks but he has to work hard if he’s going to play. This is a high level team FYI.

are you going to be similarly happy when he decides to drop the sport because driving an hour and a half each way to not play gets both boring and demoralizing fast?

That is the way life is. You have to work hard to get things. It is a great lesson in working hard to achieve something. Want guaranteed play? Go play rec.

unless your kid just isn't as good as their teammates. Then your teaching him that his weekends are best spent watching others succeed because dad is too embarrassed to have him play for a team that actually matches his skill set - much better to be able to brag about the great team he 'plays' for

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Coach here -

I really wish teams would stop rostering beyond what is allowed for game day. I understand it to some degree for the very oldest age group, as injuries and other commitments generally cause enough conflict so that no one ever has to sit out, but in general I find it to be just bad practice.

Usually teams at that level have a team or two below them they can pull from if numbers get really bad.

At a minimum teams that roster more than is allowed to dress out for games need to communicate that early on in the tryout process.

+1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you elaborate PP? This is OP. What is so out of the norm? I have only one child and child has only played for two years so I don't know what seems off and what is normal.

1. clubs usually try for consistency vis a vis playing time- either their top teams are earn your spot or they are everyone plays (this is easier said than done)

2. a coach not stepping in when kids are fighting or favoring kids who belittle teammates is way past anything I've seen

3. pass the to the Italians is a joke, I've never actually seen a team do it

Thank you.

1 What do you mean by earn your spot? Isn't that the same thing? That some kids don't get to play?
2 I don't think the coach favors kids who belittle other kids because they belittle other kids but the coach favors those kids in general so the coach doesn't seem to care. One kid hurls insults like crazy at other players yet the next game he played the entire time. Did not have to apologize, did not have to sit out of practice. No consequences. Sends a message to the team that the coach endorses the behavior.

My kid is on a u15 team. He definitely has to earn his spot to play in the games. He has sat out most of the games this season. It sucks but he has to work hard if he’s going to play. This is a high level team FYI.

are you going to be similarly happy when he decides to drop the sport because driving an hour and a half each way to not play gets both boring and demoralizing fast?

That is the way life is. You have to work hard to get things. It is a great lesson in working hard to achieve something. Want guaranteed play? Go play rec.

unless your kid just isn't as good as their teammates. Then your teaching him that his weekends are best spent watching others succeed because dad is too embarrassed to have him play for a team that actually matches his skill set - much better to be able to brag about the great team he 'plays' for

Still missing the hard work part? He/she made the "elite" team so they probably have the talent...probably just needs to put in more work and more confidence from dad.
But if you want to strive for mediocrity…go for it. Why work backwards?