S/O I am a nanny AMA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like the typical hours of a SAHM.

Most nannies who work 24/5 or 24/7 are effectively taking on a parental role. We’re up before the kids are, sleeping after kids, and up with them overnight. I’ve had two families for whom the only contact (at least 5 days of the week) with a parent was either a phone call or FaceTime in the afternoon or evening and possibly another call in the morning.

To be clear, I look for positions in which the family, children specifically, NEED me. Unlike a nanny with a spouse or children of her own, I can devote myself to children who truly need 24/5-7 love and care.

THose are Rita nannies who work 24/7. They work those hours for a week or two and then rotate with another nanny who works those same hours. The first nanny then has that time off. Anyone working 24/5 or 24/7 and then not getting that same amount of time off is a sucker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, what advice would you give to parents who are home with their nannies now? We work from our office about 50% of the time right now and the rest, we are home. We pay our nanny full time regardless, but the days we are home she works about 5 hours unless we have something going on. We mostly just try to give her space, but I really love her and want to keep her for a long time!

And thank you for this thread and for ignoring all the unsolicited advice about your life choices.

First, try to be mindful that your home is her work space and try to pick up after yourselves as you go along. If you are home on a weekend, you have the freedom to leave things around and deal with the mess later but try to keep it tidy during her workday.

Second, COMMUNICATION! Ask her how it is going, check in often and ask if there are resources she needs (such as school books and outdoor toys I ordered to replace their usual school and indoor place spaces respectively),, boundaries she needs you to maintain (such as my employers were asked not to hang out when we are doing “school” because it is impossible to get the kids to focus), Or just anything you might not have thought of.

Third and finally, heartfelt appreciation goes a long long way. So much of the work nannies do is mostly unseen.

[Anonymous]

Op, what do you honestly think of the parents? Do they love their kids and spend quality (albeit limited) time with them, or do they see them as a burden / accessory they can show off when convenient? Do you think they will take more of an interest when the kids are older?

[Anonymous]

Not the OP, but I am thinking these children are simply accessories for the parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, what do you honestly think of the parents? Do they love their kids and spend quality (albeit limited) time with them, or do they see them as a burden / accessory they can show off when convenient? Do you think they will take more of an interest when the kids are older?

They really do love their kids, and the kids love them. I hope that as the kids get older the parents will have more time for them. I do get sad because I love these kids and the parents miss a lot of special moments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like the typical hours of a SAHM.

Most nannies who work 24/5 or 24/7 are effectively taking on a parental role. We’re up before the kids are, sleeping after kids, and up with them overnight. I’ve had two families for whom the only contact (at least 5 days of the week) with a parent was either a phone call or FaceTime in the afternoon or evening and possibly another call in the morning.

To be clear, I look for positions in which the family, children specifically, NEED me. Unlike a nanny with a spouse or children of her own, I can devote myself to children who truly need 24/5-7 love and care.

THose are Rita nannies who work 24/7. They work those hours for a week or two and then rotate with another nanny who works those same hours. The first nanny then has that time off. Anyone working 24/5 or 24/7 and then not getting that same amount of time off is a sucker.

I refuse to work 24/5-7 as rota. I tried once, but it was a reset with the kids every week. Nope, if I work 24/5-7 I just make sure to take my pto and vacation, then I take a few months off between positions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, what do you honestly think of the parents? Do they love their kids and spend quality (albeit limited) time with them, or do they see them as a burden / accessory they can show off when convenient? Do you think they will take more of an interest when the kids are older?

They really do love their kids, and the kids love them. I hope that as the kids get older the parents will have more time for them. I do get sad because I love these kids and the parents miss a lot of special moments.

OP you are kinder than me. I would dismiss them as terrible parents. They clearly have choices, and have chosen to devote their life to work instead of making room for their kids. I doubt anything will change after the kids get older. If anything, it’ll get worse because they haven’t built a strong bond and older kids have more independence and avenues of escape. Right now the kids are stuck at home, but in the future they’ll rarely see each other. Unless one of the parents does a complete 180.