S/O I am a nanny AMA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who takes care of the kids when you have a doctor or dental appointment for yourself?

Their grandparents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this AMA a cry for help or at least a way to wake yourself up and decide you want more for yourself?

If so, it’s subconscious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What kind of parent has 2 children and hires help to raise them? How disgusting

My parents did, and my husband's parents did. I didn't go to preschool. He went to preschool for half days for the year before kindergarten. Often his mom would do something with him while the nanny took his sister to her ballet class. Or the nanny would take him to the library while his mom baked with his sister. So it was a divide and conquer set-up. His mom would take both kids and the nanny to a museum or aquarium - if each kid wanted to go in a different direction, they could each have an adult with them.

It's your judgment that's disgusting.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP, fellow nanny here. That's quite a few hours there. So you're a live in and make $20/hour, work between 70-75 hours total a week, so around $1800-$1900 a week, correct?

Does the family pay for your health insurance? Your car insurance (as you mentioned you drive the boys frequently, hence asking)?

Do you get PTO beyond the 3 weeks vacation, holidays? Meaning, whether or not they need you, are you paid 52 weeks a year without a reduction in pay if it goes beyond the 5 weeks that are agreed upon?

Do you have family in the area or that you are close with? How often can you see them if so?

If you're ever not available to work for whatever reason, or just need a day during the week to reset, is back up care available?

I couldn't imagine working this type of schedule. If I work more than 50 I feel burned out but I'm sure you get used to it after a bit. I wish you the best and hope you're happy with this position.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of parent has 2 children and hires help to raise them? How disgusting

My parents did, and my husband's parents did. I didn't go to preschool. He went to preschool for half days for the year before kindergarten. Often his mom would do something with him while the nanny took his sister to her ballet class. Or the nanny would take him to the library while his mom baked with his sister. So it was a divide and conquer set-up. His mom would take both kids and the nanny to a museum or aquarium - if each kid wanted to go in a different direction, they could each have an adult with them.

It's your judgment that's disgusting.

You had a nanny to help raise you.

The OP is raising the kids. She doesn't get help from the parents. These are two different things.

[Anonymous]

What is your living situation like? Are your quarters nice? Lots of light, space? Do you have your own kitchen?

Also, who got up with the kids in the night when they were babies?

[Anonymous]

Are you the same ethnicity as the parents?

[Anonymous]

I don't want to sound indifferent but as someone who watched plenty of kids grow up with this kind of nanny arrangement, it's always worthwhile to remember that you are just the help, no matter what your employers might say to you. If you were to leave tomorrow, you'd be amazed at how quickly any tears might go away, whether your employer or the kids you watch. Family is family, the help is the help, there is a difference. And they know it. Even the little kids know it. Those tears will turn into complaining about how much trouble you caused them because now they need to find another housekeeper and have to put up with the hassles of someone new.

Someone as experienced and capable as you should be able to find a higher paying house manager role. I would think you've had your experience and it's probably a good time to move on. I remember reading a highly experienced (and paid) household manager who said she made a point of never staying too long with any one employer.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP, fellow Nanny here:

A.)How do you find your Nanny job(s?)
Do you go through an agency or do you use childcare websites such as Care.com or Sittercity.com??
Have you ever found a nice family using Craigslist?

B.)Are you responsible for doing your charge’s laundry?
Do you have any household duties to perform or are you strictly childcare.

C.)Working such long days - do you ever nap when the children do?
Because no one could blame you if you did.

[Anonymous]

Are you being filmed while working?

Such as are the parents using NannyCams in the home??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for this thread.

If you don't mind me asking, if the family is more economically privileged than you are, do you have any feelings about that/does it affect your relationship with the family in a way that wouldn't happen if they weren't more economically privileged?

You mean is the family well off? "Economically privileged" really had me rolling on the floor laughing.

I lived overseas for years and in some of the countries it was common for even middle class families to have maids and cooks and drivers. They'd be "working" from as early as 6:30 to 9 PM but in reality it meant they spent half the time sitting in the kitchen gossiping over tea and coffee. It's not 90 hours of work.

"More economically privileged" than OP doesn't necessarily mean "well off." Middle class families may be more privileged than other families but still not be wealthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With those hours, do the parents ever spend time with their kids?

My good friend is closer to his old nanny than his parents because she raised him. His mom is a partner at one of the top firms in NYC and his dad owns a successful business. On holidays, he would go to see his nanny and her family. When she passed away, he was devastated.

Wow, thats hella depressing.

+1. I feel bad for him. It's good that he had a strong relationship with his nanny, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you, what is your post secondary education and do you want to have your own kids some day?

Mid-30’s. College dropout (was studying English, History and Theatre at a small LAC and didn’t know what I wanted to be when I grew up 3 years into school so I took some time off to nanny. Over a decade later I am still doing it! I would love to be a mom some day, but I can’t see myself being a single mom and I am fat so probably not going to happen for me.

Oh, f*ck that noise. You have value and worth just as you are ... it might be hard for that to happen right now because (a) dating during a pandemic is hard and (b) this family sucks the life out of you. But, your body is ready for love just like everyone else's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for this thread.

If you don't mind me asking, if the family is more economically privileged than you are, do you have any feelings about that/does it affect your relationship with the family in a way that wouldn't happen if they weren't more economically privileged?

Are you a troll? Of course, the family is more ‘economically privileged’ than she is - she’s a nanny working around the clock for pathetic wages for a lawyer and a finance vulture. I don’t know about you, but that would certainly affect my relationship with the family.

PP. Not a troll. I did guess that the family was more economically privileged, but wasn't 100% sure from the post--some people have a wealthy parent, for example, even if they aren't compensated highly themselves. Also, why "finance vulture"?

Privileged? Worked their asses off for a JD and (presumably) MBA and to have a steady marriage. Calling someone else’s financial success “privilege” is an insult.

Ha. This post is a perfect representation of someone denying undeniable privilege.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With those hours, do the parents ever spend time with their kids?

My good friend is closer to his old nanny than his parents because she raised him. His mom is a partner at one of the top firms in NYC and his dad owns a successful business. On holidays, he would go to see his nanny and her family. When she passed away, he was devastated.

Wow, thats hella depressing.

+1. I feel bad for him. It's good that he had a strong relationship with his nanny, though.

Yeah his nanny was the stable thing in his life. His dad cheated on his mom with his secretary and left the mom for the secretary. His mom worked 80 hours a week and his dad was too busy at his office or cheating on the mom.