S/O I am a nanny AMA

[Anonymous]

Is this AMA a cry for help or at least a way to wake yourself up and decide you want more for yourself?

[Anonymous]

With those hours, do the parents ever spend time with their kids?

My good friend is closer to his old nanny than his parents because she raised him. His mom is a partner at one of the top firms in NYC and his dad owns a successful business. On holidays, he would go to see his nanny and her family. When she passed away, he was devastated.

[Anonymous]

Former nanny here, and a lot of this sounds familiar!
$20-$24 hour isn’t terrible BECAUSE you’re a live in. I hope you have a place with its own entrance and lots of privacy!
Do they cover your health insurance and any other benefits, too? I hope so!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:With those hours, do the parents ever spend time with their kids?

My good friend is closer to his old nanny than his parents because she raised him. His mom is a partner at one of the top firms in NYC and his dad owns a successful business. On holidays, he would go to see his nanny and her family. When she passed away, he was devastated.

Wow, thats hella depressing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this AMA a cry for help or at least a way to wake yourself up and decide you want more for yourself?

Right! I’m a nanny and I couldn’t imagine this job. I work less than 50 hours and bring in around $62k before taxes. I provide care for two kids and don’t have to do half of what Op does.

Get out Op. There are better live in and non live in jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Former nanny here, and a lot of this sounds familiar!
$20-$24 hour isn’t terrible BECAUSE you’re a live in. I hope you have a place with its own entrance and lots of privacy!
Do they cover your health insurance and any other benefits, too? I hope so!

Let's do a little math. OP claims she works 14 hours a day. That leaves about 10 hours. Let's assume she sleeps about 6 hours a day (anyone who needs more than that is a complete slacker). You now have 4 hours left.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, your are there every waking hour. Are those children parented at all by their mother or father? Or are you essentially tasked with raising them to be good humans?

This seems untenable to me, OP. I've worked 90 hr weeks for years and that is mental breakdown territory. But, BUT I was also compensated better. Do you have a plan for the future? And yes, I'd like to know the parent/child relationship. I grew up with some people raised by nannies to this extent and, frankly, they're effed up.

Not OP. If you're comfortable sharing, what job did you have to work 90 hr weeks?

Management consulting- commercial, finance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Former nanny here, and a lot of this sounds familiar!
$20-$24 hour isn’t terrible BECAUSE you’re a live in. I hope you have a place with its own entrance and lots of privacy!
Do they cover your health insurance and any other benefits, too? I hope so!

Let's do a little math. OP claims she works 14 hours a day. That leaves about 10 hours. Let's assume she sleeps about 6 hours a day (anyone who needs more than that is a complete slacker). You now have 4 hours left.

PP here. I'm not arguing she's not overworked? The parents sound like shitty people who probably shouldn't have had kids. However, if she's local and not paying rent, my point was that wage is pretty typical and maybe even above what a lot of live in nannies make per hour.

[Anonymous]

1. What is your favorite tradition with your nanny family?

2. What is something you want to do in the next 12 months that you have never done before?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like my cousin's nanny. My cousin is a biglaw lawyer and wife is a doctor. Nanny cares for the kids M-F. On Friday night, nanny brings the kids over to their grandmother's house and leaves them there for the weekend. Grandma cares for them until Monday morning, when nanny picks them up. They rarely if ever see their parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you finish your degree in Early Childhood Education, you could be getting $30 an hour base with your experience. Please think about it, OP. You could do a lot of it online.

You sound like a natural nanny! You just need the paper to really get ahead.

Agree. You don’t want to wake up 50 years old and making $25/hour.

[Anonymous]

They are taking advantage of you with those hours. I used to work for HNW families and I always got two consecutive days off. Otherwise, you’ll burn out big time. What’s the live-in setup like? Room in the family home? Separate apartment? You can do better!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for this thread.

If you don't mind me asking, if the family is more economically privileged than you are, do you have any feelings about that/does it affect your relationship with the family in a way that wouldn't happen if they weren't more economically privileged?

You mean is the family well off? "Economically privileged" really had me rolling on the floor laughing.

I lived overseas for years and in some of the countries it was common for even middle class families to have maids and cooks and drivers. They'd be "working" from as early as 6:30 to 9 PM but in reality it meant they spent half the time sitting in the kitchen gossiping over tea and coffee. It's not 90 hours of work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you take them for haircuts? Shopping for new kid shoes? Do you take them to pediatric appointments? Do the parents take them to any of those types of things?

How does discipline work? Do the parents decide how the kids should be disciplined or do you? Do the parents ever disagree with you about discipline and if so, how is that handled?

Is there other household staff besides you?

Right now I cut their hair from home. One parent is weirdly specific about shoes so he orders those but I measure their feet and send him links of options available in their current sizes. I schedule appointments and sometimes I attend, sometimes a parent does. Depends on the type of appointment. We are mostly on the same page as far as discipline. Sometimes I think they shouldn’t have so many arbitrary rules but I enforce what they do.

[Anonymous]

Wow: staff of two to care for 2 kids with 2 parents.

Anyway, your current lifestyle sounds somewhat unhealthy. You need more balance (time off to pursue your own life, think about the future that you want). Are you saving towards some goal? Future degree?

Important not to wake up in ten years and realize you devoted your life to meeting a rich family's needs, rather than pursuing your own. Good luck.