S/O I am a nanny AMA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for this thread.

If you don't mind me asking, if the family is more economically privileged than you are, do you have any feelings about that/does it affect your relationship with the family in a way that wouldn't happen if they weren't more economically privileged?

Are you a troll? Of course, the family is more ‘economically privileged’ than she is - she’s a nanny working around the clock for pathetic wages for a lawyer and a finance vulture. I don’t know about you, but that would certainly affect my relationship with the family.

PP. Not a troll. I did guess that the family was more economically privileged, but wasn't 100% sure from the post--some people have a wealthy parent, for example, even if they aren't compensated highly themselves. Also, why "finance vulture"?

[Anonymous]

What is your impression of the parents’ relationship to these twins?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for this thread.

If you don't mind me asking, if the family is more economically privileged than you are, do you have any feelings about that/does it affect your relationship with the family in a way that wouldn't happen if they weren't more economically privileged?

Are you a troll? Of course, the family is more ‘economically privileged’ than she is - she’s a nanny working around the clock for pathetic wages for a lawyer and a finance vulture. I don’t know about you, but that would certainly affect my relationship with the family.

PP. Not a troll. I did guess that the family was more economically privileged, but wasn't 100% sure from the post--some people have a wealthy parent, for example, even if they aren't compensated highly themselves. Also, why "finance vulture"?

Privileged? Worked their asses off for a JD and (presumably) MBA and to have a steady marriage. Calling someone else’s financial success “privilege” is an insult.

[Anonymous]

What kind of parent has 2 children and hires help to raise them? How disgusting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, your are there every waking hour. Are those children parented at all by their mother or father? Or are you essentially tasked with raising them to be good humans?

This seems untenable to me, OP. I've worked 90 hr weeks for years and that is mental breakdown territory. But, BUT I was also compensated better. Do you have a plan for the future? And yes, I'd like to know the parent/child relationship. I grew up with some people raised by nannies to this extent and, frankly, they're effed up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, your are there every waking hour. Are those children parented at all by their mother or father? Or are you essentially tasked with raising them to be good humans?

This seems untenable to me, OP. I've worked 90 hr weeks for years and that is mental breakdown territory. But, BUT I was also compensated better. Do you have a plan for the future? And yes, I'd like to know the parent/child relationship. I grew up with some people raised by nannies to this extent and, frankly, they're effed up.

Not OP. If you're comfortable sharing, what job did you have to work 90 hr weeks?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is your impression of the parents’ relationship to these twins?

There's no way they have a relationship, they're completely absent from their life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you think you'll stay on as a house manager when the kids get older? What's you plan for the next 5 years?

The kids were already in preschool full-time last year and I worked as a house manager for those hours. Honestly I am still doing 90% of those tasks anyway with kids underfoot. I will probably stay for a while but I am getting kind of burnt out so if the right job came along I might move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, your are there every waking hour. Are those children parented at all by their mother or father? Or are you essentially tasked with raising them to be good humans?

I think the parents are a little in denial about it. One of them actually said to me that the hard thing about WFM all the time is that they can hear the boys playing and see them in little dribs and drabs here and there throughout the day and it’s just enough to realize what they are missing. As a result they are considering cutting back on the weekend sitter’s hours to only half.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for this thread.

If you don't mind me asking, if the family is more economically privileged than you are, do you have any feelings about that/does it affect your relationship with the family in a way that wouldn't happen if they weren't more economically privileged?

Their background is upper-middle class, mine is lower-middle class, so our childhoods weren’t SO different. They went to really good public schools and earned scholarships to impressive colleges and grad schools. I went to a crappy public and earned a scholarship to the college I wanted, which was just a little LAC, then dropped out. There are times when they are naive about things, but mostly I worry about the kids, who will grow up very wealthy and inherit millions. I try to make sure they are service-oriented and empathetic to those without their privilege.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is your impression of the parents’ relationship to these twins?

They love their kids but don’t really know that much about children and find it frustrating when they act like kids. They will probably be closer when the kids are older.

[Anonymous]

Do you take them for haircuts? Shopping for new kid shoes? Do you take them to pediatric appointments? Do the parents take them to any of those types of things?

How does discipline work? Do the parents decide how the kids should be disciplined or do you? Do the parents ever disagree with you about discipline and if so, how is that handled?

Is there other household staff besides you?

[Anonymous]

Having those hours and living in is no way to live, OP. You need your own life.

[Anonymous]

Quit as soon as possible. The working hours are appalling and you have no private life at all.

[Anonymous]

Who takes care of the kids when you have a doctor or dental appointment for yourself?