Divorcing a stay-at-home dad

[Anonymous]

Best advise is to look online instead of talking with him or trying to fix the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My nephew sounds very much like your husband. His ex-wife created a post-nup that he signed before they divorced because he was worried that she would use his reckless behavior to keep the kids from him. I'm not sure of all of details, but in the end she got full custody, didn't have to pay him alimony, and gave him a 1 time settlement figure/gave him one car so he could get settled in his own place. It was definitely not a 50/50 split. I was not familiar with a post-nup before this, but it's something to ask about.

Why did your nephew sign the postnup if he risked all that? Most people have zero leverage to push a postnup, unless their spouse cheated and wants to try to work on things, then maybe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course youlll have to pay alimony. Until he gets remarried.

Which, if he's smart, he will never do, for a variety of reasons.

You mean..if any future wife is smart. Who would marry this loser?

[Anonymous]

A SAHD with no job is not a real man.

[Anonymous]

Yes, absolutely the husband gets alimony. It happened to my neighbor. It’s standard. gender doesn’t matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know the answer to the alimony question.

But regardless, I think you should divorce this guy! He doesn’t have a job, he doesn’t spend time with his son, he has a drinking and smoking addiction, and he smells!

I’d rather pay alimony and be rid of him.

My guess is you’d only have to pay alimony for a few years if they but I don’t know. Child support is the bigger issue.

He would be entitled to both child support and alimony if he has 50% custody which most parents want. You are also probably going to have to sell the house and split the proceeds unless you can buy him out somehow or he agrees to let you keep it otherwise.

You probably didn't mean to give me a chuckle, but you did - thank you. I don't think I'd have to worry about child support. I honestly can't see any judge saying that he's entitled to child support. I make all the money, provide for all of his needs, take him to all his play dates, am at every sports practice/game, go to every school function, take him to friends' parties, etc - and I literally do it all ALONE. So I'm less worried about that than I am having to pay for his life after divorce; though you have a point about paying to be rid of him. I forgot that another point is that he has these health issues and it's my job that supplies the health insurance. So I imagine that might be another thing I might have to supplement in some way post-divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know the answer to the alimony question.

But regardless, I think you should divorce this guy! He doesn’t have a job, he doesn’t spend time with his son, he has a drinking and smoking addiction, and he smells!

I’d rather pay alimony and be rid of him.

My guess is you’d only have to pay alimony for a few years if they but I don’t know. Child support is the bigger issue.

He would be entitled to both child support and alimony if he has 50% custody which most parents want. You are also probably going to have to sell the house and split the proceeds unless you can buy him out somehow or he agrees to let you keep it otherwise.

You probably didn't mean to give me a chuckle, but you did - thank you. I don't think I'd have to worry about child support. I honestly can't see any judge saying that he's entitled to child support. I make all the money, provide for all of his needs, take him to all his play dates, am at every sports practice/game, go to every school function, take him to friends' parties, etc - and I literally do it all ALONE. So I'm less worried about that than I am having to pay for his life after divorce; though you have a point about paying to be rid of him. I forgot that another point is that he has these health issues and it's my job that supplies the health insurance. So I imagine that might be another thing I might have to supplement in some way post-divorce.

He would be entitled to both child support and alimony if he has 50% custody which most parents want. You are also probably going to have to sell the house and split the proceeds unless you can buy him out somehow or he agrees to let you keep it

[Anonymous]

Very unlikely but since this thread is 5 years old, OP, are you around and can you give us an update!?

Really hope everything worked out for you!

[Anonymous]

You are divorcing a stay at home dad you are divorcing a dead beat.

This has nothing to do with the SAHD part.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think he is a sahd. He is an unemployed drunk.

[Anonymous]

FIVE YEAR OLD THREAD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FIVE YEAR OLD THREAD.

Was there an update?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FIVE YEAR OLD THREAD.

Was there an update?

NP and I know this is a zombie thread someone resurrected.
But I wish she'd come back and update us. The DH was so clearly an alcoholic to the point it imparied him (picking up a kid from school while drunk enough that the school writes a notice about it...should be the end of everything, really). I truly wonder if he got 50-50 custody and how that has worked out, if he did. So many posts on DCUM where a spouse wants to divorce a spouse who is alcoholic, an addict, or abusive, and we all know the problem spouse is likely to get at least some custody if not 50-50, unless there is very clearly documented evidence the parent has put the child in danger.

And that parent is not magically going to be a responsible, calm, fully present parent when they're 100 percent in charge of the kids during their custody time. It's beyond worrying. I wonder if OP's DH stopped drinking, or got worse, or was terrible during his custody time. Poor kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know the answer to the alimony question.

But regardless, I think you should divorce this guy! He doesn’t have a job, he doesn’t spend time with his son, he has a drinking and smoking addiction, and he smells!

I’d rather pay alimony and be rid of him.

My guess is you’d only have to pay alimony for a few years if they but I don’t know. Child support is the bigger issue.

You probably didn't mean to give me a chuckle, but you did - thank you. I don't think I'd have to worry about child support. I honestly can't see any judge saying that he's entitled to child support. I make all the money, provide for all of his needs, take him to all his play dates, am at every sports practice/game, go to every school function, take him to friends' parties, etc - and I literally do it all ALONE. So I'm less worried about that than I am having to pay for his life after divorce; though you have a point about paying to be rid of him. I forgot that another point is that he has these health issues and it's my job that supplies the health insurance. So I imagine that might be another thing I might have to supplement in some way post-divorce.

You may be ordered to pay cs, consult a lawyer. You need advice for your jurisdiction and circumstances. You may be surprised.

Get kid in Ala Teen in meantime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FIVE YEAR OLD THREAD.

Was there an update?

NP and I know this is a zombie thread someone resurrected.
But I wish she'd come back and update us. The DH was so clearly an alcoholic to the point it imparied him (picking up a kid from school while drunk enough that the school writes a notice about it...should be the end of everything, really). I truly wonder if he got 50-50 custody and how that has worked out, if he did. So many posts on DCUM where a spouse wants to divorce a spouse who is alcoholic, an addict, or abusive, and we all know the problem spouse is likely to get at least some custody if not 50-50, unless there is very clearly documented evidence the parent has put the child in danger.

And that parent is not magically going to be a responsible, calm, fully present parent when they're 100 percent in charge of the kids during their custody time. It's beyond worrying. I wonder if OP's DH stopped drinking, or got worse, or was terrible during his custody time. Poor kids.

This is why a lot of women have to stay with horrible men. He would be doing all kinds of harm on his time. This way she can control it.