Is this super entitled and irritating, or is it just me?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not entitled. You are hosting so you need to make others comfortable.

Or, you know, people that aren't comfortable can just choose not to go... That doesn't make you a bad host.

[Anonymous]

11:02. I would be ok if families ask about details of my hosting (e.g. # of kids, distancing rules while they are over in my backyard, bathroom use, etc) and as host during a pandemic I’d be happy to provide these details.

But I would find it rude and irritating to answer questions on what and how families of kid A and kid B are distancing.

Yeah, this was exactly my issue with it. Happy to provide any details on safety regarding my own house and plans for the activity - that is a given. Would have also been ok if the question was framed as "Do you know if the other invitees are socially distancing? If you don't have that information, we probably need to take a pass for now."

[Anonymous]

I am immuno-compromised. I would like to let my kids be around other kids but .... it's scary. If I get the virus, I'll be one of those people who winds up on a vent. If you can't answer my question then just say that. But aren't I entitled to try to LIVE?


Of course you are. So organize something yourself for your kids and invite only families you can personally vouch for.

Also, it doesn't make sense anyway, because people either lie or don't know the true answer. The mom of one of my son's friends said he couldn't come over to kick a soccer ball with DS due to their family's social distancing. Two days later, that same kid pulls up on a bike with a pack of four other kids to ask my son to ride with them. I am giving the mom the benefit of the doubt and assuming she did not know the true nature of her child's biking activity (kids are 11 and 12 year olds). But still.

[Anonymous]

I don't get why anyone would be upset or consider this "entitled." Of course everyone's definition of social distancing seems to be different. I feel better with my kids being around someone who has the same definition we do. I get that you wouldn't know that about the other kids who were invited -- and I get that people are also dishonest or kidding themselves about their social distancing habits -- but I don't get why it even bothers you or registers for more than a nonosecond. Can't really imaging being concerned or creating a thread about something so minor as another mother handling things in a way you think is somehow "wrong." Weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Would you invite people with allergies for dinner & then think its rude if they ask what's in the food? Your fake etiquettes are not more important than people's lives. People are scared. I don't understand how you can't be bothered to be responsible during a pandemic. As a parent, and as a host, I would give everyone all the information that I could.


If you are scared for your life it would seem to make sense not to attend an outdoor movie with people you don't know. It's fine to decline.


People can't lock themselves and their kids forever. They rely on their community, friends, and families being understandable human beings and making it safe for each other. It's not a hard concept.

I don't assume anyone is completely socially distancing at this point, and choose activities accordingly. If you don't want to interact with people you don't know, you are welcome to either: host something yourself, or decline invites where you don't know people, or ask for the contact information for other invitees so you can ask them yourself. It's not a hard concept.

If OP was being remotely careful, she/he would ALREADY KNOW if ALL the people invited are social distancing or not. It just takes one to infect 100s. The concept of this level of individualism - where a guest asking you a valid question makes an adult so uncomfortable that you forget to ask yourself - I really should know if everyone that I am allowing to play with my kid is being safe during the pandemic or not?! If you host a party, you make sure you are doing it safely and include people that are safe to be around. Who is the entitled one here?

[Anonymous]

If OP was being remotely careful, she/he would ALREADY KNOW if ALL the people invited are social distancing or not. It just takes one to infect 100s. The concept of this level of individualism - where a guest asking you a valid question makes an adult so uncomfortable that you forget to ask yourself

I didn't forget to ask. I am fine with not asking that question for a situation where three kids (the youngest of whom is 9) will be outdoors sitting six feet apart watching a movie. Totally ok if others feel differently, but then I don't have the information they are asking for and am not going to go out and obtain it. One family decided to come anyway, one didn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

11:02. I would be ok if families ask about details of my hosting (e.g. # of kids, distancing rules while they are over in my backyard, bathroom use, etc) and as host during a pandemic I’d be happy to provide these details.

But I would find it rude and irritating to answer questions on what and how families of kid A and kid B are distancing.

Yeah, this was exactly my issue with it. Happy to provide any details on safety regarding my own house and plans for the activity - that is a given. Would have also been ok if the question was framed as "Do you know if the other invitees are socially distancing? If you don't have that information, we probably need to take a pass for now."

Then you're just bitching about semantics, which is stupid. The question was fine, and your answer was fine. No one was rude or entitled. If you have other issues with these people, deal with those instead of getting in a snit because they didn't choose their words carefully enough on a text message.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

If OP was being remotely careful, she/he would ALREADY KNOW if ALL the people invited are social distancing or not. It just takes one to infect 100s. The concept of this level of individualism - where a guest asking you a valid question makes an adult so uncomfortable that you forget to ask yourself

I didn't forget to ask. I am fine with not asking that question for a situation where three kids (the youngest of whom is 9) will be outdoors sitting six feet apart watching a movie. Totally ok if others feel differently, but then I don't have the information they are asking for and am not going to go out and obtain it. One family decided to come anyway, one didn't.

You sound like this is some kind of logical question with a logical answer. This is not about being logical. It's about being addicted to the feeling of being offended by others. The addict is you, OP.

[Anonymous]

Our circle of friends are being super cautious, but people have started doing low risk things they weren't doing from mid-March through May. For example, a lot of my friends are starting up their orthodontist appointments again. I'm going to take my kids to the pediatric dentist for their check up next month since I'm confident in the protocols the dentist has put in place. I know a friend who had a workman come in to do a quick repair (wearing mask, taking precautions and not being in the same room etc.) and we will probably do the same this summer.

It's not OP's responsibility to sort all of this out - but what is safe is getting together in a small group, outside only, and keeping food serving etc. to a minimum. If OP could assure me that was happening, I would feel comfortable sending my child.

[Anonymous]

This sounds exactly like condoms and not using them. If the other person is cool not using them, is it because they rarely use them or because you’re the one super special person whose lawn they want to see a movie on? Yuck, not interested, and your defensive answer confirms the yuck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our circle of friends are being super cautious, but people have started doing low risk things they weren't doing from mid-March through May. For example, a lot of my friends are starting up their orthodontist appointments again. I'm going to take my kids to the pediatric dentist for their check up next month since I'm confident in the protocols the dentist has put in place. I know a friend who had a workman come in to do a quick repair (wearing mask, taking precautions and not being in the same room etc.) and we will probably do the same this summer.

It's not OP's responsibility to sort all of this out - but what is safe is getting together in a small group, outside only, and keeping food serving etc. to a minimum. If OP could assure me that was happening, I would feel comfortable sending my child.

Yes, but would you dare to ask her?

[Anonymous]

Going by OP & a lot of other responses, a second wave is not too far! Let's all have fun and be careless...

[Anonymous]

Going by OP & a lot of other responses, a second wave is not too far! Let's all have fun and be careless...

A second wave is predicted to come this fall regardless. Experts have set up levels of risk by the nature of the activity. Sitting outdoors with a small group six feet away from each other to watch a movie is relatively low risk. Yes, it is more risk that a zoom session, but not everyone is going to want to or agree to do that indefinitely. Nor is it recommended for most people. In fact, in many states, you can have outdoor groups of up to 50 people at this point, or sit indoors at a restaurant, or get your hair done, or have your house cleaned. You may personally feel uncomfortable, and it is fine to opt out of doing so for that reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not entitled. You are hosting so you need to make others comfortable.

Or, you know, people that aren't comfortable can just choose not to go... That doesn't make you a bad host.

Umm..yes it does!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our circle of friends are being super cautious, but people have started doing low risk things they weren't doing from mid-March through May. For example, a lot of my friends are starting up their orthodontist appointments again. I'm going to take my kids to the pediatric dentist for their check up next month since I'm confident in the protocols the dentist has put in place. I know a friend who had a workman come in to do a quick repair (wearing mask, taking precautions and not being in the same room etc.) and we will probably do the same this summer.

It's not OP's responsibility to sort all of this out - but what is safe is getting together in a small group, outside only, and keeping food serving etc. to a minimum. If OP could assure me that was happening, I would feel comfortable sending my child.

Yes, but would you dare to ask her?

Yes! If someone asked if my child would like to come over, of course I would get more info. All of the invitations have been forthcoming with that info though:

Text to 4 moms" "Would you feel comfortable with the girls getting together in our yard, for a socially distanced pizza night. Bring own chair/blanket, and we will keep the kids at least 6 feet apart. Pizza will be served wearing masks and gloves with disposable plates"

etc. etc.

But I would not expect anyone to say - fill out this survey of every where you and your family members have been and who you have come into contact with, because the situation doesn't warrant that. They are socially distancing, outside, where transmission is low, so therefore risk is low even if someone is an asymptomatic carrier.