Served with Summons for child custody days before planned trip

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I filed for child support from my kids father and his response has been to file for joint custody. We live in different states and his filing basically halted the child support process all year. I am supposed to be traveling with my kid on vacation in a few days and the papers say I can't travel with the child without permission from him. He will definitely not approve now he has the power to do so, does anyone have ideas on what I can do in 3 days to address this? Hotels and tickets have already been paid for. Thank you.

I am not very familiar with the law on that point but I am not sure how he can unilaterally put in place a rule that you need permission from him to travel on vacation? He has only filed for joint custody, it hasn't been awarded by the court yet, correct? Is "asking for joint custody" all it takes to stop all travel?

Hi, this is covered under kidnapping statutes.

She is not kidnapping him as she is returning to the country after a few days. Kidnapping means the other parent doesn't know where the child is and when he will return. I mean when your husband goes to work, is he kidnapped? No, since you know where he is, and he's coming back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I filed for child support from my kids father and his response has been to file for joint custody. We live in different states and his filing basically halted the child support process all year. I am supposed to be traveling with my kid on vacation in a few days and the papers say I can't travel with the child without permission from him. He will definitely not approve now he has the power to do so, does anyone have ideas on what I can do in 3 days to address this? Hotels and tickets have already been paid for. Thank you.

I am not very familiar with the law on that point but I am not sure how he can unilaterally put in place a rule that you need permission from him to travel on vacation? He has only filed for joint custody, it hasn't been awarded by the court yet, correct? Is "asking for joint custody" all it takes to stop all travel?

Hi, this is covered under kidnapping statutes.

She is not kidnapping him as she is returning to the country after a few days. Kidnapping means the other parent doesn't know where the child is and when he will return. I mean when your husband goes to work, is he kidnapped? No, since you know where he is, and he's coming back.

This is different. Dad should be consulted. My spouse asks me prior to travel and we discuss anything child related.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you do go, how will he find out?

She won’t be permitted to leave the country without a letter from him permitting the children to leave.

How do you think this will happen? You think the TSA asks every parent traveling alone with the child to produce consent from the other parent?

They sure do.

Even when both parents are there or it’s just me, mine get asked all kinds of questions by TSA. I have had them ask where Dad is.

[Anonymous]

OP and her kid's father are not spouses. What you think should happen is not the same as what the law is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what I am reading is that you want your kid’s dad to be just a child support check. Why was a formal custody and child support agreement not figured out before this point? Probably because it was better for you not to have that, right? So continue on and don’t expect support if you won’t give up custody. Can’t have it both ways.

No, he visits his child when he is available. The support Requested before filing amounts to a tenth of my rent in my new high COL location. I figured it could be used for school lunches and other tidbits.

Child support is not based off your choice to increase your expenses. It is based on a time share, which is why moms don’t want a formal agreement and income. You may spend more on an attorney than the raise. That happened to my husbands ex. You should not be traveling out of the country without his permission. You choose a more costly place to live. That is not a reason to demand more more for your lifestyle.

The court will weigh her move against other factors, including a better school district, family and friends as a safety net, and job opportunities. In addition, sometimes, people can’t find a place to live in a lower COLA area and have to move. I had this experience with the PA courts and they sided with me on the move to MoCo.

The move is done. She did not ask and did it.

So did I. And the PA court still sided with me.

That was really crappy to do. This is why dads give up. They basically lose their rights and kids.

It was actually the exact same number of hours driving for him, just crossing the Mason-Dixon line rather than driving across PA. I did my research before I moved. He couldn’t claim it made it harder to exercise visitation. Much better schools. An amazing job opportunity that in a few years raised my income so he paid less in CS. And I had friends here who acted as a surrogate family.

Friends don’t replace Dad. You should be doing all the driving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the international trip to a vacation spot or is to a place where you have family and ties?

It seems as though he wants access to his child. He should have some custody so I am not clear if you are fighting that?

If you moved away, that will also come into play.

Did dad give any money before you took this to court last year?

You really need to ask your lawyer. That is the person whose advice matters as they will be the one to have to deal with the fall out. Chances are you aren't going to be able to go on the holiday without dads written permission.

I am visiting a place we both have ties but this is an annual holiday trip. I am a US citizen and well established here.
We haven't lived in the same state in almost 8 years. The only difference is that I moved further away. His engagement with his kid has been inconsistent over the years but became more frequent the year before we moved. His visits were mostly unannounced but made my kid happy so I didn't care. He has also moved quite frequently in the past and I never questioned that because we were not married and the child lives with me primarily.

If you moved away from dad you should be taking child to see dad or pay for flights.

Really? Cite your case law. Trollhole

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you do go, how will he find out?

She won’t be permitted to leave the country without a letter from him permitting the children to leave.

This is totally incorrect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the international trip to a vacation spot or is to a place where you have family and ties?

It seems as though he wants access to his child. He should have some custody so I am not clear if you are fighting that?

If you moved away, that will also come into play.

Did dad give any money before you took this to court last year?

You really need to ask your lawyer. That is the person whose advice matters as they will be the one to have to deal with the fall out. Chances are you aren't going to be able to go on the holiday without dads written permission.

I am visiting a place we both have ties but this is an annual holiday trip. I am a US citizen and well established here.
We haven't lived in the same state in almost 8 years. The only difference is that I moved further away. His engagement with his kid has been inconsistent over the years but became more frequent the year before we moved. His visits were mostly unannounced but made my kid happy so I didn't care. He has also moved quite frequently in the past and I never questioned that because we were not married and the child lives with me primarily.

If you moved away from dad you should be taking child to see dad or pay for flights.

Really? Cite your case law. Trollhole

Depends on the state and judge. You sound pretty crappy to take the kids away from dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what I am reading is that you want your kid’s dad to be just a child support check. Why was a formal custody and child support agreement not figured out before this point? Probably because it was better for you not to have that, right? So continue on and don’t expect support if you won’t give up custody. Can’t have it both ways.

No, he visits his child when he is available. The support Requested before filing amounts to a tenth of my rent in my new high COL location. I figured it could be used for school lunches and other tidbits.

Child support is not based off your choice to increase your expenses. It is based on a time share, which is why moms don’t want a formal agreement and income. You may spend more on an attorney than the raise. That happened to my husbands ex. You should not be traveling out of the country without his permission. You choose a more costly place to live. That is not a reason to demand more more for your lifestyle.

The court will weigh her move against other factors, including a better school district, family and friends as a safety net, and job opportunities. In addition, sometimes, people can’t find a place to live in a lower COLA area and have to move. I had this experience with the PA courts and they sided with me on the move to MoCo.

The move is done. She did not ask and did it.

So did I. And the PA court still sided with me.

That was really crappy to do. This is why dads give up. They basically lose their rights and kids.

It was actually the exact same number of hours driving for him, just crossing the Mason-Dixon line rather than driving across PA. I did my research before I moved. He couldn’t claim it made it harder to exercise visitation. Much better schools. An amazing job opportunity that in a few years raised my income so he paid less in CS. And I had friends here who acted as a surrogate family.

Friends don’t replace Dad. You should be doing all the driving.

There’s a reason you aren’t a judge. You are too dense to realize we already lived in two different cities in the same state. If I wasn’t required to drive before, why would the court decide I needed to start driving?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you do go, how will he find out?

She won’t be permitted to leave the country without a letter from him permitting the children to leave.

I'm not sure how common needing the letter is in the U.S. I'm in Canada and when we do our child's passport they actual copy the exact language used in our divorce papers regarding travel out of country and have that connected to her passport. Letter of consent to travel is required for any out of country trips.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the international trip to a vacation spot or is to a place where you have family and ties?

It seems as though he wants access to his child. He should have some custody so I am not clear if you are fighting that?

If you moved away, that will also come into play.

Did dad give any money before you took this to court last year?

You really need to ask your lawyer. That is the person whose advice matters as they will be the one to have to deal with the fall out. Chances are you aren't going to be able to go on the holiday without dads written permission.

I am visiting a place we both have ties but this is an annual holiday trip. I am a US citizen and well established here.
We haven't lived in the same state in almost 8 years. The only difference is that I moved further away. His engagement with his kid has been inconsistent over the years but became more frequent the year before we moved. His visits were mostly unannounced but made my kid happy so I didn't care. He has also moved quite frequently in the past and I never questioned that because we were not married and the child lives with me primarily.

These facts make me doubt very much that joint custody will be granted. Legal perhaps, but physical, no. What is the request for, legal or physical?

Definitely not physical. It doesn't specify.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the international trip to a vacation spot or is to a place where you have family and ties?

It seems as though he wants access to his child. He should have some custody so I am not clear if you are fighting that?

If you moved away, that will also come into play.

Did dad give any money before you took this to court last year?

You really need to ask your lawyer. That is the person whose advice matters as they will be the one to have to deal with the fall out. Chances are you aren't going to be able to go on the holiday without dads written permission.

I am visiting a place we both have ties but this is an annual holiday trip. I am a US citizen and well established here.
We haven't lived in the same state in almost 8 years. The only difference is that I moved further away. His engagement with his kid has been inconsistent over the years but became more frequent the year before we moved. His visits were mostly unannounced but made my kid happy so I didn't care. He has also moved quite frequently in the past and I never questioned that because we were not married and the child lives with me primarily.

These facts make me doubt very much that joint custody will be granted. Legal perhaps, but physical, no. What is the request for, legal or physical?

Definitely not physical. It doesn't specify.

It’s fake if it doesn’t specify.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you do go, how will he find out?

She won’t be permitted to leave the country without a letter from him permitting the children to leave.

I'm not sure how common needing the letter is in the U.S. I'm in Canada and when we do our child's passport they actual copy the exact language used in our divorce papers regarding travel out of country and have that connected to her passport. Letter of consent to travel is required for any out of country trips.

We have been asked to provide a travel letter upon exiting the US and entering Canada and three European countries. Cruise ship stops didn’t care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what I am reading is that you want your kid’s dad to be just a child support check. Why was a formal custody and child support agreement not figured out before this point? Probably because it was better for you not to have that, right? So continue on and don’t expect support if you won’t give up custody. Can’t have it both ways.

No, he visits his child when he is available. The support Requested before filing amounts to a tenth of my rent in my new high COL location. I figured it could be used for school lunches and other tidbits.

Child support is not based off your choice to increase your expenses. It is based on a time share, which is why moms don’t want a formal agreement and income. You may spend more on an attorney than the raise. That happened to my husbands ex. You should not be traveling out of the country without his permission. You choose a more costly place to live. That is not a reason to demand more more for your lifestyle.

When he moved to other states and another country in the past, he never asked and just stopped visiting. The demand is not for a changed lifestyle, it is simply for a consistent firm of support managed by a third party. The custody case would also be the same, adding structure.

[Anonymous]

I don't want to scare you but I know someone that took dc out of the country for several weeks without ex's permission and when she returned to the country, the police arrested her for kidnapping. They had joint custody and she took the child and only told him she had left after she was in the other country. She was in jail for at least a month and lost custody of the child afterwards. Not worth it.