Served with Summons for child custody days before planned trip

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what I am reading is that you want your kid’s dad to be just a child support check. Why was a formal custody and child support agreement not figured out before this point? Probably because it was better for you not to have that, right? So continue on and don’t expect support if you won’t give up custody. Can’t have it both ways.

No, he visits his child when he is available. The support Requested before filing amounts to a tenth of my rent in my new high COL location. I figured it could be used for school lunches and other tidbits.

Child support is not based off your choice to increase your expenses. It is based on a time share, which is why moms don’t want a formal agreement and income. You may spend more on an attorney than the raise. That happened to my husbands ex. You should not be traveling out of the country without his permission. You choose a more costly place to live. That is not a reason to demand more more for your lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the international trip to a vacation spot or is to a place where you have family and ties?

It seems as though he wants access to his child. He should have some custody so I am not clear if you are fighting that?

If you moved away, that will also come into play.

Did dad give any money before you took this to court last year?

You really need to ask your lawyer. That is the person whose advice matters as they will be the one to have to deal with the fall out. Chances are you aren't going to be able to go on the holiday without dads written permission.

I am visiting a place we both have ties but this is an annual holiday trip. I am a US citizen and well established here.
We haven't lived in the same state in almost 8 years. The only difference is that I moved further away. His engagement with his kid has been inconsistent over the years but became more frequent the year before we moved. His visits were mostly unannounced but made my kid happy so I didn't care. He has also moved quite frequently in the past and I never questioned that because we were not married and the child lives with me primarily.

If you moved away from dad you should be taking child to see dad or pay for flights.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I filed for child support from my kids father and his response has been to file for joint custody. We live in different states and his filing basically halted the child support process all year. I am supposed to be traveling with my kid on vacation in a few days and the papers say I can't travel with the child without permission from him. He will definitely not approve now he has the power to do so, does anyone have ideas on what I can do in 3 days to address this? Hotels and tickets have already been paid for. Thank you.

I'm really confused how a court filing can impose this requirement. He could ask the court to make that ruling, but it doesn't sound like you've been to court for a hearing yet.

You do need to call a lawyer. If the motion merely requests this from the judge and there's not a ruling on it, then you might be ok with just sending the father and his lawyer a letter stating that you will be traveling to country X as previously agreed to and then go.

But I'd want legal advice before doing that.

I too am confused about how the papers say OP can't travel without permission from her child's father if the court hasn't weighed on it yet. Just requesting joint custody doesn't mean it will happen, and I don't think this sort of restriction can be imposed by the petitioner. What are these papers and what do they say?

Until the court hearing she can travel but it will depend on the judge.

She should just file to terminate his rights since he had none.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what I am reading is that you want your kid’s dad to be just a child support check. Why was a formal custody and child support agreement not figured out before this point? Probably because it was better for you not to have that, right? So continue on and don’t expect support if you won’t give up custody. Can’t have it both ways.

No, he visits his child when he is available. The support Requested before filing amounts to a tenth of my rent in my new high COL location. I figured it could be used for school lunches and other tidbits.

Child support is not based off your choice to increase your expenses. It is based on a time share, which is why moms don’t want a formal agreement and income. You may spend more on an attorney than the raise. That happened to my husbands ex. You should not be traveling out of the country without his permission. You choose a more costly place to live. That is not a reason to demand more more for your lifestyle.

The court will weigh her move against other factors, including a better school district, family and friends as a safety net, and job opportunities. In addition, sometimes, people can’t find a place to live in a lower COLA area and have to move. I had this experience with the PA courts and they sided with me on the move to MoCo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what I am reading is that you want your kid’s dad to be just a child support check. Why was a formal custody and child support agreement not figured out before this point? Probably because it was better for you not to have that, right? So continue on and don’t expect support if you won’t give up custody. Can’t have it both ways.

No, he visits his child when he is available. The support Requested before filing amounts to a tenth of my rent in my new high COL location. I figured it could be used for school lunches and other tidbits.

Child support is not based off your choice to increase your expenses. It is based on a time share, which is why moms don’t want a formal agreement and income. You may spend more on an attorney than the raise. That happened to my husbands ex. You should not be traveling out of the country without his permission. You choose a more costly place to live. That is not a reason to demand more more for your lifestyle.

The court will weigh her move against other factors, including a better school district, family and friends as a safety net, and job opportunities. In addition, sometimes, people can’t find a place to live in a lower COLA area and have to move. I had this experience with the PA courts and they sided with me on the move to MoCo.

The move is done. She did not ask and did it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what I am reading is that you want your kid’s dad to be just a child support check. Why was a formal custody and child support agreement not figured out before this point? Probably because it was better for you not to have that, right? So continue on and don’t expect support if you won’t give up custody. Can’t have it both ways.

No, he visits his child when he is available. The support Requested before filing amounts to a tenth of my rent in my new high COL location. I figured it could be used for school lunches and other tidbits.

Child support is not based off your choice to increase your expenses. It is based on a time share, which is why moms don’t want a formal agreement and income. You may spend more on an attorney than the raise. That happened to my husbands ex. You should not be traveling out of the country without his permission. You choose a more costly place to live. That is not a reason to demand more more for your lifestyle.

The court will weigh her move against other factors, including a better school district, family and friends as a safety net, and job opportunities. In addition, sometimes, people can’t find a place to live in a lower COLA area and have to move. I had this experience with the PA courts and they sided with me on the move to MoCo.

The move is done. She did not ask and did it.

They haven't lived in the same state for 8 years.

He doesn't have any custody rights so she doesn't really have to ask him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what I am reading is that you want your kid’s dad to be just a child support check. Why was a formal custody and child support agreement not figured out before this point? Probably because it was better for you not to have that, right? So continue on and don’t expect support if you won’t give up custody. Can’t have it both ways.

No, he visits his child when he is available. The support Requested before filing amounts to a tenth of my rent in my new high COL location. I figured it could be used for school lunches and other tidbits.

Child support is not based off your choice to increase your expenses. It is based on a time share, which is why moms don’t want a formal agreement and income. You may spend more on an attorney than the raise. That happened to my husbands ex. You should not be traveling out of the country without his permission. You choose a more costly place to live. That is not a reason to demand more more for your lifestyle.

If the child lives with her primarily, the father owes child support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what I am reading is that you want your kid’s dad to be just a child support check. Why was a formal custody and child support agreement not figured out before this point? Probably because it was better for you not to have that, right? So continue on and don’t expect support if you won’t give up custody. Can’t have it both ways.

No, he visits his child when he is available. The support Requested before filing amounts to a tenth of my rent in my new high COL location. I figured it could be used for school lunches and other tidbits.

Child support is not based off your choice to increase your expenses. It is based on a time share, which is why moms don’t want a formal agreement and income. You may spend more on an attorney than the raise. That happened to my husbands ex. You should not be traveling out of the country without his permission. You choose a more costly place to live. That is not a reason to demand more more for your lifestyle.

The court will weigh her move against other factors, including a better school district, family and friends as a safety net, and job opportunities. In addition, sometimes, people can’t find a place to live in a lower COLA area and have to move. I had this experience with the PA courts and they sided with me on the move to MoCo.

The move is done. She did not ask and did it.

So did I. And the PA court still sided with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what I am reading is that you want your kid’s dad to be just a child support check. Why was a formal custody and child support agreement not figured out before this point? Probably because it was better for you not to have that, right? So continue on and don’t expect support if you won’t give up custody. Can’t have it both ways.

No, he visits his child when he is available. The support Requested before filing amounts to a tenth of my rent in my new high COL location. I figured it could be used for school lunches and other tidbits.

Child support is not based off your choice to increase your expenses. It is based on a time share, which is why moms don’t want a formal agreement and income. You may spend more on an attorney than the raise. That happened to my husbands ex. You should not be traveling out of the country without his permission. You choose a more costly place to live. That is not a reason to demand more more for your lifestyle.

The court will weigh her move against other factors, including a better school district, family and friends as a safety net, and job opportunities. In addition, sometimes, people can’t find a place to live in a lower COLA area and have to move. I had this experience with the PA courts and they sided with me on the move to MoCo.

The move is done. She did not ask and did it.

So did I. And the PA court still sided with me.

That was really crappy to do. This is why dads give up. They basically lose their rights and kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what I am reading is that you want your kid’s dad to be just a child support check. Why was a formal custody and child support agreement not figured out before this point? Probably because it was better for you not to have that, right? So continue on and don’t expect support if you won’t give up custody. Can’t have it both ways.

No, he visits his child when he is available. The support Requested before filing amounts to a tenth of my rent in my new high COL location. I figured it could be used for school lunches and other tidbits.

Child support is not based off your choice to increase your expenses. It is based on a time share, which is why moms don’t want a formal agreement and income. You may spend more on an attorney than the raise. That happened to my husbands ex. You should not be traveling out of the country without his permission. You choose a more costly place to live. That is not a reason to demand more more for your lifestyle.

The court will weigh her move against other factors, including a better school district, family and friends as a safety net, and job opportunities. In addition, sometimes, people can’t find a place to live in a lower COLA area and have to move. I had this experience with the PA courts and they sided with me on the move to MoCo.

The move is done. She did not ask and did it.

So did I. And the PA court still sided with me.

That was really crappy to do. This is why dads give up. They basically lose their rights and kids.

It was actually the exact same number of hours driving for him, just crossing the Mason-Dixon line rather than driving across PA. I did my research before I moved. He couldn’t claim it made it harder to exercise visitation. Much better schools. An amazing job opportunity that in a few years raised my income so he paid less in CS. And I had friends here who acted as a surrogate family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you do go, how will he find out?

She won’t be permitted to leave the country without a letter from him permitting the children to leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you do go, how will he find out?

She won’t be permitted to leave the country without a letter from him permitting the children to leave.

How do you think this will happen? You think the TSA asks every parent traveling alone with the child to produce consent from the other parent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I filed for child support from my kids father and his response has been to file for joint custody. We live in different states and his filing basically halted the child support process all year. I am supposed to be traveling with my kid on vacation in a few days and the papers say I can't travel with the child without permission from him. He will definitely not approve now he has the power to do so, does anyone have ideas on what I can do in 3 days to address this? Hotels and tickets have already been paid for. Thank you.

I am not very familiar with the law on that point but I am not sure how he can unilaterally put in place a rule that you need permission from him to travel on vacation? He has only filed for joint custody, it hasn't been awarded by the court yet, correct? Is "asking for joint custody" all it takes to stop all travel?

Hi, this is covered under kidnapping statutes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you do go, how will he find out?

She won’t be permitted to leave the country without a letter from him permitting the children to leave.

How do you think this will happen? You think the TSA asks every parent traveling alone with the child to produce consent from the other parent?

They sure do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you do go, how will he find out?

She won’t be permitted to leave the country without a letter from him permitting the children to leave.

How do you think this will happen? You think the TSA asks every parent traveling alone with the child to produce consent from the other parent?

They sure do.

LOL, they never do. I travel with my son every summer. We have different last names and look different. Have never been asked.