Can't Decide on Wedding..

[Anonymous]

I would say two things:

1) It's very possible, if you're careful about the budget, to have a nice, traditional wedding (dinner, dancing, open bar, fancy dress, etc, etc) in DC for 150 people for $40k - that's exactly what I did two years ago. So I would say, first of all, before getting to guest list, maybe talk to a wedding planner (especially when you're this far off in your visions, I would use a wedding planner for sure) and see how the different things you're both envisioning translate to $$, what you actually care about, what you don't, where you agree, where you disagree, and come up with a budget.

2) Guest list numbers in the abstract are basically useless. My husband and I were like, "yeah, standard wedding, probably around 150 people?" and made a budget with that in mind. Our first draft of "okay, let's start with the A list - people we absolutely have to invite" was 223 people. So I'd start actually writing down names before you argue about the number.

I guess at the end of the day, I think compromise is key here - if he really wants 200 people, and upon listing them, you can get on board, well, that's where you spend your money. But he might be fine with just beer/wine, or with 3 passed apps instead of 5, or the cheaper venue, and you could buy a David's Bridal dress for $200, and save money in other places.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would say two things:

1) It's very possible, if you're careful about the budget, to have a nice, traditional wedding (dinner, dancing, open bar, fancy dress, etc, etc) in DC for 150 people for $40k - that's exactly what I did two years ago. So I would say, first of all, before getting to guest list, maybe talk to a wedding planner (especially when you're this far off in your visions, I would use a wedding planner for sure) and see how the different things you're both envisioning translate to $$, what you actually care about, what you don't, where you agree, where you disagree, and come up with a budget.

2) Guest list numbers in the abstract are basically useless. My husband and I were like, "yeah, standard wedding, probably around 150 people?" and made a budget with that in mind. Our first draft of "okay, let's start with the A list - people we absolutely have to invite" was 223 people. So I'd start actually writing down names before you argue about the number.

I guess at the end of the day, I think compromise is key here - if he really wants 200 people, and upon listing them, you can get on board, well, that's where you spend your money. But he might be fine with just beer/wine, or with 3 passed apps instead of 5, or the cheaper venue, and you could buy a David's Bridal dress for $200, and save money in other places.

This is excellent advice.

[Anonymous]

If you invite 100 people, not all 100 are coming. You may have 80, especially if some of your guests are out of state or have young children.

If he sets a budget for 100k, that doesn’t mean you have to spend 100k. Even if you pick a place like st Regis or four seasons, it will be like $300pp. With gratuity and everything, maybe $400pp.

Flowers 10k
Reception 40k
Dress 5k
Photographer 5k

I’m not seeing this wedding costing $100k for 80 people.

Let your fiancé invite the 10-20 extra people who may or may not even come.

I no longer enjoy going to weddings unless it is a close friend. We decline if it is out of state.